Last Call: Letting Bisons be Bisons Edition

bison
Inquiring minds wanted to know.
Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day.  It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.
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  1. Rover 1 Avatar
    Rover 1

    Soooo….
    Not a load of bull?

  2. Citric Avatar
    Citric

    In Yellowstone, bison have the right of way, and are frequently found in the middle of the road just chillin’. Well, I was waiting for them to move on my way out of the park, and I saw one running very quickly towards the road. Seeing an animal that large move is an impressive sight, but more impressive was when Mr. Bison made a glorious flying leap onto Mrs. Bison. So in the middle of the road, for all to see, there was the most acrobatic bison sex that anyone has ever seen. Naturally, the first car in the other direction had a family with small children, who just learned about nature in a perhaps somewhat memorable fashion. If that bison’s aim wasn’t true, it would have destroyed the car it hit in the process, given his rapid pace and sheer size, though the lady bison was able to stand up to it.
    TL;DR – I believe this story.

  3. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    A pal of mine was sideswiped by a moose. This may not surprise our Canadian and Scandinavian commenters, but the guy was in Andover, Massachusetts.
    He went to the police station and said, “Yes, officer, I have had a little beer, but I have to tell you I just got sideswiped by a moose on the 495 off-ramp. I thought it was some asshole standing in the off-ramp, ’till I saw the second pair of legs; then I thought it must be two assholes standing in the off-ramp.” Then it became apparent it was a moose, in a very undeniable way. “I stopped, but the moose charged right at me.”
    “Normally, son, we’d just arrest you and let you sleep it off, but you’re the third person to alert us to the presence of a moose.”
    He took us out to see his car, which was definitely damaged around the passenger A-pillar, and bristling with tufts of moose hair.
    TL:DR My sister was bitten by a moose.

    1. Citric Avatar
      Citric

      I was run off the road by a deer once. Completely sober, he ran directly into the side of my car and took out two fenders and the driver’s side mirror, and knocked me in the ditch. The two stoners who were behind me on the highway thought something had gone awry with their supply.

      1. Sjalabais Avatar
        Sjalabais

        Are you sure the deer was sober?
        Seriously, deer and moose feasting on fermented apples etc are a solid danger in the woods come autumn. People with orange hats that have an equal affection for fermentation come in a close second on that list of worries.

        1. Vairship Avatar
          Vairship

          “People with orange hats that have an equal affection for fermentation”
          They’re everywhere this time of year!
          http://www.de-webwinkelgids.nl/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Nederlandse-gebruiken-en-gewoontes19.jpg

          1. Sjalabais Avatar
            Sjalabais

            Haha, talk about turning that one around. 🙂

  4. smalleyxb122 Avatar
    smalleyxb122

    “I break for bison”
    Always proofread your bumper stickers.

  5. 0A5599 Avatar
    0A5599

    I wonder what the bison was driving.
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/8qIdIsKqllg/maxresdefault.jpg

  6. gerberbaby Avatar

    So the other day while playing my favorite commuting game, I was wondering if any other hoons do this…
    As I drive along in the right lane, when people pass me on the left, I only ‘look’ at them with my peripheral vision trying to determine make and model. It can be great fun, some cars are easy, such as the prius. I run close to 50% accuracy

    1. Preludacris Avatar

      I do this with oncoming traffic when I’m the passenger! It’s kind of hard to know if you were right though…

  7. Bryce Womeldurf Avatar

    Reminds me of the old joke…
    What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
    Bi-son!

  8. Feds_II Avatar
    Feds_II

    Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

  9. Patrick Hoffstetter Avatar

    West Wing reference?

  10. Texlenin Avatar
    Texlenin

    Bison Bully
    Buffalo Basher
    Tatonka Terrorizer