Hooniverse Asks- What’s the Lamest Car to Carry a Classic Name?

Robert Emslie

/comment

Comments

2014-Maserati-Ghibli

Ghibli is the name of a wind of northern Africa, one of the Siroccos that draws that continent’s dust and pollens northward only to settle into the azure depths of the Mediterranean sea.  Another of the Siroccos is the Khamsin. When first applied to one of Maserati’s Grand Touring models, the Ghibli name evoked images of speed, agility and exotic beauty. Even today the wind-in-your-hair version remains one of the most exciting and electrifying sports cars ever produced.  Today, Maserati has repurposed the Ghibli name on a small sedan that, while probably very competent does not evoke the same emotions and probably will not be seen in the same light as its ancestor decades down the road.

That’s one example of a hallowed name being reused by a manufacturer in the attempt to once again capture the elusive lightning in a bottle. We’ve seen it time and time again, sometimes successfully – I think the current Camaro has well earned its name – while others not quite as much. In that latter category I think you could lump the Daewoo-sourced Opel that Pontiac attempted to foist on the buying public back in the ’80s. No amount of new wave music and spandex pants could distract from the fact that not only was the little Korean a spectacularly bad car, but it also almost irreparably sullied the LeMans name. 

Like Movie studios panning for box office gold with sequel after sequel, car makers like to leverage classic and venerated names for their equity, wringing them dry until they has no more to give. They then discard the name, usually replacing it with some other they seem keen to destroy. What do you think have been the worst examples of this tend, cars and trucks that carry classic names but fail to live up to them?

Image source: MotorTrend

About

Robert Emslie

Robert Emslie

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

68 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- What’s the Lamest Car to Carry a Classic Name?”

  1. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar
    BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ

    A little too pretentious:
    <img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/47/173622128_cdeeb30531.jpg&quot; width="600">

    Reply
    1. ghettopeople Avatar
      ghettopeople

      And of course the US was never sent the mighty 5 GT Turbo.

      Reply
  2. desolit Avatar
    desolit

    CHEVY NOVA!
    <img src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2006/07/250px-1987_chev_nova.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. Synchromesh Avatar
      Synchromesh

      I dunno about this one. It was basically a Toyota Corolla and while not super exciting was definitely a much better car quality-wise than most of its predecessors. My dad owned one and my uncle owned several and they liked them quite a bit.

      Reply
      1. Maymar Avatar
        Maymar

        This! It was no Nova SS350, but most Novas were little more than cheap economical transportation. If "cheap economical transportation" was a word in the dictionary, a picture of a Corolla would be beside it.

        Reply
        1. ghettopeople Avatar
          ghettopeople

          Even crazier, in Japan, these carried on the Toyota SPRINTER badge!
          But yeah, up until the more recent years of everyone hunting for an American rear-drive to build up, Novas were largely unloved.

          Reply
    2. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
      Irishzombieman☆

      My sister put 290k miles on one. The car acted like it hated every single one of them, and I think she kept it going for so long just to spite it. At around 40k, it suddenly started pinging and ringing like there was a bell choir under the hood, and demanded premium gasoline for the next quarter million miles.
      It worked, but it did it grudgingly. It got good mileage, but it was gutless and unenthusiastic. It was a decent commuter but getting onto the freeway was terrifying every. single. time.
      And it's sad that this is now the first car that comes to mind (though I quickly banish it) every time I hear the word "Nova".

      Reply
    3. salguod Avatar
      salguod

      We had an '88 that we sold at 125K because we thought it was nearing the end of life. Should have kept it. Though it felt quite flimsy, it was quite reliable and economical and actually fairly roomy inside. Slower than molasses (and ours was a 5 speed), but it looked pretty good and just kept going.

      Reply
  3. bigev007 Avatar
    bigev007

    Pontiac LeMans
    <img src="http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2008/05/10/08/51/1992_pontiac_le_mans_2_dr_value_leader_coupe-pic-34433.jpeg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Kill them all with fire!

      Reply
      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar
        FuzzyPlushroom

        Happily, there aren't many left to kill.

        Reply
  4. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    This is a Maserati Sebring
    <img src="http://flameroad.com/pics/Maserati/52/b3/14978_Maserati-Sebring-Series-II_7.jpg"width=500&gt;
    Unfortunately, this is a (Chrysler) Sebring too
    <img src="http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/1996-chrysler-sebring-jxi-3.jpg"width=500&gt;

    Reply
    1. MVEilenstein Avatar
      MVEilenstein

      I can see it.

      Reply
      1. P161911 Avatar
        P161911

        You need to see these people: http://www.lenscrafters.com/

        Reply
    2. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar
      FuzzyPlushroom

      What's worse, the (Chrysler) Sebring became more offensive and cheaply-built with each consecutive generation.

      Reply
  5. Hopman Avatar
    Hopman

    How about a couple from GM?
    The Chevy Malibu and the Olds Cutlass?

    Reply
    1. Maymar Avatar
      Maymar

      Specifically, the N-body cars, which have virtually no merits to speak of. I admittedly have a soft spot for the Epsilon Malibus though, even the rental spec-est '04-'07's.

      Reply
      1. ghettopeople Avatar
        ghettopeople

        Better than the atrocious Corsicas they replaced. These actually have a quiet cult following.

        Reply
  6. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    The new Mini. Not a bad car per se. Doesn't deserve the name, proportionally speakiing.

    Reply
    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      <img src="http://s3.motoringfile.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/car_photo_369484_25.jpg&quot; width="600">

      Reply
      1. tintedchrome Avatar
        tintedchrome

        Neither does the Fiat 500..
        <img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2252/2335751052_30df3ace1f.jpg&quot; width="600">

        Reply
    2. Vairship Avatar
      Vairship

      Correct. If taking names from BL, the Countryman would be closer to a Landcrab than a Mini. But that name probably didn't test as well…

      Reply
      1. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        My college roommate only learned about the medical treatment for landcrabs after an unsuccessful attempt at self medication with a sharp pencil and a razor.

        Reply
  7. JayP2112 Avatar
    JayP2112

    Dang images aren't cooperating today.
    The second gen Challenger.
    And a case can be made for anything SHELBY from Dodge. Even though those were some badass cars and trucks, they aren't Cobras.
    Edit for more: FiveHundred- may have been a good car, a wasted name.

    Reply
    1. BlackIce_GTS Avatar
      BlackIce_GTS

      I really like Shelby Dodges, they're just more 'cult classic' then legend.
      Continuing that supplemental thought;
      <img src="http://media-cache-ak1.pinimg.com/736x/62/2c/4c/622c4c949e187e697a3be0c7d3e75ee6.jpg"&gt;
      Not bad(?), but not really a sport sedan.

      Reply
      1. Maymar Avatar
        Maymar

        I think I'm mostly annoyed the current SHO doesn't have the Yamaha V8 you could get in the Volvo S80.

        Reply
        1. JayP2112 Avatar
          JayP2112

          I'll see one in traffic and say "SHOW!!"
          The kid corrects me with "S-H-O!"
          Which is pretty remarkable since the 3rd Gen had been out of production 2 years before he was born.

          Reply
  8. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    There's something not quite right about the Chrysler 300 with the 2.7 – it's stripped, slow, and not all that stylish. I'm not all that bothered by the more basic Chargers, as those were originally available with /6s and whatnot, but the 300 was always pretty range-topping.
    Going a slightly different direction, the Maybach was sort of lame. I mean, props for using the W140 over the W220 as the base, but it was never really captivating otherwise.

    Reply
    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      If the Challenger was available with a slant 6, manuat trans and dog dishes, I'd have one.

      Reply
      1. Maymar Avatar
        Maymar

        I'd love a Pentastar Challenger with a stick, but I know it'll never happen.

        Reply
    2. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Plus, the 2.7 is garbage.

      Reply
  9. Frere P. Avatar
    Frere P.

    Bora:
    <img src="http://www.ssip.net/upload/maserati-bora-front-1_174.jpg"&gt;
    Perfectly adequate, but NOT Bora:
    <img src="http://www.autotrader.co.uk/articleresources/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Volkswagen-Bora.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. Sjalabais Avatar
      Sjalabais

      At one point in time, I honestly thought this was a derivate of "boring", giving the marketing crowd credit for their irony. Now I understand it is more of a far…warm wind.

      Reply
      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar
        FuzzyPlushroom

        Yeah, the VW definitely has a benign aura about it.

        Reply
        1. Vairship Avatar
          Vairship

          Well, the Germans have always been a comforting people…[youtube oT28K-lZ4bk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT28K-lZ4bk youtube]

          Reply
  10. scroggzilla Avatar
    scroggzilla

    Well, to be fair, this is the 2nd time that Maserati repurposed the Ghibli name. The last time around, Il Tridente applied the Ghibli moniker to a restyled and re-engineered Bi-turbo. Most of the auto punditry considered the Ghibli II to be a lot better than the Bi-turbo….then again, the bar was set pretty low.
    <img src="http://www.gt-cars.org/images/rsgallery/original/Ghibli_II.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  11. buzzboy7 Avatar
    buzzboy7

    <img src="http://www.alsautosalvageandsales.com/vehicle_images/sales-lot/020-2003_vw_beetle_conv_paleyellow_stock23635_vin0094-a.JPG&quot; width="600">

    Reply
  12. MVEilenstein Avatar
    MVEilenstein

    Dodge Ram Daytona. I mean, come on – I love trucks, and I love Ram, but this never just came off quite right.
    <img src="http://www.dodgeramdaytona.com/featured/images1/05rdaytonabykbyrd_2.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. SSurfer321 Avatar
      SSurfer321

      Who doesn't want a truck with a big wing inhibiting access to the most useful part of it?!

      Reply
      1. MVEilenstein Avatar
        MVEilenstein

        I like the guys who try to haul lumber and have to prop it the wing.

        Reply
    2. vroomsocko Avatar
      vroomsocko

      Stop it! This truck has become too silly.
      <img src="http://biobreak.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/graham_chapman_colonel.jpg&quot; width="300">

      Reply
  13. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    Foisted on an unwilling Canadian public, the Pontiac Tempest of the late '80s.
    <img src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-VoPqXNVjVic/TlDSrC1KGYI/AAAAAAAABRI/anThGmeg4VM/1989_PONTIAC_TEMPEST.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. MVEilenstein Avatar
      MVEilenstein

      Holy crap – it's like Pontiac didn't even try. Except for the plastic grille insert, I see nothing different about it. Nothing.

      Reply
      1. Maymar Avatar
        Maymar

        To be fair, they really didn't – at the time, Canadian GM dealers were split into Chevrolet-Oldsmobile and Buick-Pontiac-GMC (with Cadillac stuck with whoever had suitable volume, although more frequently with BPG). Because we're a little cheap in Canuckistan, BPG dealers frequently demanded quick and cheap rebadged Chevys for the sake of having stuff to compete with the Chev-Olds dealer across the road (although why they needed the Tempest and Grand Am simultaneously, I'm not quite sure).

        Reply
        1. rwb Avatar
          rwb

          To make the Grand Am look more appealing, maybe?

          Reply
          1. Maymar Avatar
            Maymar

            Either that, or because it was decontented and cheaper (I'd have to go back and check prices later). To be fair though, I would've loved a Tempest hatch, especially if they ever made one in similar spec to the Corsica LTZ.

      2. salguod Avatar
        salguod

        I think they had different tail lights too. I remember seeing one on the road and thinking who made custom tail lights for a Corsica?

        Reply
  14. John Avatar
    John

    Without a doubt, the Mustang II comes to mind first for me and along with that was the Mustang II Cobra.

    Reply
    1. Maymar Avatar
      Maymar

      I'm on the fence about that – on one hand, it was unquestionably lame, but at the same time, it was a sporty(ish) car derived from Ford's compact, just like the original Mustang, I at least appreciate that Ford recognized the Mustang had gotten too big and heavy, and made steps to rectify that.

      Reply
  15. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
    Irishzombieman☆

    A while back, Top Gear gave Lancia the prize for having more really excellend models than any other manufacturer. There were more—nine or ten, I think—but Aprilia, Beta, Stratos, 037 and Delta Integrale stand out in my own mind.
    Well, Fiat decided to bring the name back and slap it on a bunch of unexciting cars for reasons that must make sense in Italian.
    Here we have a new Delta, where they sullied the model name along with the marquis:
    <img src="http://www.autospectator.com/cars/files/images/Lancia-Delta-Ad.jpg&quot; width=350>
    Too big? How’s about a new Ypsilon?
    <img src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9ixwGalEb-Y/0.jpg&rdquo; width=350>
    Not your speed? Maybe a Thema, then.
    <img src="http://static.blogo.it/eurocarblog/lancia-thema-03-02/LanciaThema_001.jpg&rdquo; width=350>
    Transporting the kids’ futbol team? Well, then, you oughtta git yerself a MOTORFINGER LANCIA VOYAGER.
    <img src="http://img2.netcarshow.com/Lancia-Voyager_2012_800x600_wallpaper_06.jpg&rdquo; width=350>
    This makes me sad. Kids ten years from now won’t hear the name “Lancia” and think of bonkers racecars with engines that sound like a pack of ungoverned chainsaws in grainy, shaky videos. Someone will say “Lancia” and the first thing they’ll think of will be a minivan.
    .
    EDIT:
    Frickin' pics don't seem to want to work, so:
    The Theema's a Chrysler 300 with a different grill
    The Voyager's a Chrysler Town & Country. With a different grill.
    The Ypsilon? Dunno, but I betcha it exists as something else somewhere else with a different grill.

    Reply
    1. smokyburnout Avatar
      smokyburnout

      <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a9/Lancia_Zeta_front_20071004.jpg/800px-Lancia_Zeta_front_20071004.jpg&quot; width="600"/>
      Lancia's had a badge-engineered minivan in their lineup for 20 years.
      The Ypsilon will probably go down as their last "original" design.

      Reply
    2. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      I bet you didn't expect this…
      <img src="http://www.blogmotori.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Chrysler-Ypsilon.jpg"&gt;

      Reply
  16. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    This Italian Stallion
    <img src="http://www.motorcyclespecs.co.za/Gallery/Ducati%20650%20Indiana%20%20%201.jpg&quot; width="400/">
    Is the Ducati Indiana. Also probably the lamest anything to bear the name Indiana.
    (Edit: I thought it was a question of the lamest vehicle to bear a classic marque)

    Reply
    1. dead_elvis Avatar
      dead_elvis

      To continue this diversion, I'd add one from Mandello del Lario, Guzzi's Nevada 750. Maybe not as ungainly looking as your example, but for anyone taller than about 5'7" or with more than a year of riding experience, very lame: braking, handling, rear suspension all reach their limits at barely supra-legal speeds. A highly overpriced starter machine.
      <img src="http://www.motorcyclespecs.co.za/Gallery%20%20A/Moto%20Guzzi%20Nevada%20Classic%20750%20I.E.3.jpg&quot; width="600">

      Reply
  17. marmer01 Avatar
    marmer01

    Well, someone already took the Daewoo LeMans, so I'm stuck with the '80s M-body and K-body Chrysler New Yorker Imperial Lebaron Fifth Avenue grab bag. I wanted to post a picture but it was just too confusing. (Not how to post a picture, but how to choose one and how ChryCo chose a name.)

    Reply
  18. smokyburnout Avatar
    smokyburnout

    <img src="http://www.autoguide.com/auto-news/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/2014-Jeep-Cherokee-cover_edited-11.jpg"/&gt;
    No.

    Reply
    1. desolit Avatar
      desolit

      this better win.

      Reply
  19. Van_Sarockin Avatar
    Van_Sarockin

    Ford 500

    Reply
  20. Van_Sarockin Avatar
    Van_Sarockin

    Maybach
    Rolls-Royce

    Reply
  21. Mad_Hungarian Avatar
    Mad_Hungarian

    1986 Eldorado:<img src="http://www.mclellansautomotive.com/photos/F7451.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  22. Mad_Hungarian Avatar
    Mad_Hungarian

    1958 Packard:<img src="http://www.badgoat.net/CRH_homepage/Penquis/Penquis_03_05.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
  23. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    <img src="http://www.web-cars.com/images/vette_img/221436_a.jpg&quot; width=500 /img>
    This might be slightly heretical (and also fitting, being a few days from its 60th birthday), but a 150hp six-cylinder and two speed slushbox are sort of lame compared to the classic that would come.

    Reply
  24. Andy Avatar
    Andy

    GTO

    Reply
  25. salguod Avatar
    salguod

    I misunderstood the question and immediately thought of Chevy's use of the ' Chevrolet Classic' name on the last gen Malibu for fleet sales:
    <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2f/Chevrolet-Classic.jpg&quot; width="600/">
    Of course, that this was called a Malibu fits the question perfectly.
    I also discovered that Chevy sells this 'Classic' in Brazil:
    <img src="http://flameroad.com/pics/Chevrolet/3d/84/4292_Chevrolet-Corsa-Classic_10.jpg&quot; width=600>

    Reply
    1. vroomsocko Avatar
      vroomsocko

      Nothing classic about either one of them. Meh.

      Reply
  26. HTWHLS Avatar
    HTWHLS

    Don't have a pic but that tiny crapbox that carried the "Cougar" name from the late 90's.

    Reply
  27. monkey_tennis Avatar
    monkey_tennis

    The current model Alfa Romeo Guiletta (bland & bloated 5dr Euro-hatch) makes me sad.
    The Citroen 'DS' range (marketing-hyped, 'premium' compacts and CUVs) have none of the grace, style or wonder of the original Deesse.
    Even Renault have had to admit that their relaunched Gordini brand (appearance package versions of their 3dr hatches without any worthwhile performance upgrades) have been a failure and have damaged a brand that had a special place in many people's affections.
    Each of these seems to be lazy marketing: Even though Guiletta/DS/Gordini do not mean much to the majority of the people they are marketing these cars to (definitely non-enthusiasts), rather than develop a new sub-brand or range they pick a name out of the back catalogue. Even though the new car shares nothing with the original it gives an excuse to use evocative footage in the ad campaigns (cue grainy flashabcks to la dolce vita/nouvelle vague/80s rallying) and claim a respect for 'heritage'.

    Reply
  28. Florentino Chambless Avatar
    Florentino Chambless

    Hi there! This post couldn’t be ritten any better!
    Reading through thyis ppost reminds mee of my good old room mate!
    He always kept talking about this. I will forward this write-up
    too him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply