If you don’t think that it is the goal of every business to separate you from your money, and then to keep doing so as long as it can, well, then I have a bridge to sell you. Maybe two.
The world’s largest automakers are all structured in the attempt to keep you coming back for more. General Motors has long slotted its brands for just about every station in life, from just starting out to raising a family to mid-life crisis, to hearse. Yeah, there’s not as many stages in GM’s catalog any more, but that just makes the choices all the clearer.
We don’t have to abide by GM’s choices though. Nor those of Toyota who once wanted you to start out in a Scion, trade up to various main-line Toys, and then spend your golden years behind the wheel of some Lexus. It doesn’t have to be that way!
What we want is your ideas about what would be the best automotive upgrades for each lifestage. What do you think, Where would you start, and where would that take you?
Image: whydontyoutrythis
Hooniverse Ask: What’s the Ultimate Lifestage Automotive Upgrade Path?
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Calling it “upgrade” sort of makes me think that one platform, built reliably, can be bolted up or down for several uses? What about Miata underpinnings, ready to be upgraded to a small seven seater, before you again switch out the fat top for something low and entertaining. Later on, a high entry, good vision, bumpable exterior would probably be appreciated.
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In a similar vein, I’ve thought since it was released that the Toyota GT-86 should have had a sedan iteration from the start. From there, it’s a sort leap to a wagonnette, and while you’re at it, raise the roof up into an MPV. Power upgrades might be smart along the way, as well.
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Miata underpinnings, small seven seater? Mazda5 is close to that, although six seats and FWD. Could even be had with a stick given enough searching.
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You’re right. I almost bought one, but I was exposed to too many five year old cars with terminal rust.
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Maybe….while the Miata is technically a monocoque, it does have a central “backbone” connecting the front and rear subframes. Now imagine if Mazda took an even more Lotus Elan approach and made that more structural, an actual chassis… or at least a removeable drivetrain/frame unit while making the body lighter. Lift off the body, put another one on, maybe make the central section modular so it could be extended for a longer body with a longer prop. Plonk new body on top… Momiata
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…which would also take us right back again to the Miata shooting brake. How hard can it be?
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When you are young and stupid, you drive something cheap, slow, reliable, but with a good chassis so that you can learn car control. You put it into ditches and curbs, replacing bummed parts with junkyard bits until there’s little of the original car left. Like a used Civic.
When you are less young, but still sort of stupid, and still single, you drive something cheap, fast, unreliable, and with a great chassis. You rack up points on your driver’s license before wrecking it spectacularly. Like a turbo’d Civic Si.
When you start making money and meet the love of your life, you forget about cars — to an extent. You drive something expensive, fast, reliable, and you only occasionally poke its limits. You sell the car in fantastic condition with a tinge of regret, having never seriously flogged it. Like an S2000.
When you notice your first grey hair and/or hear the patter of little feet, you buy something boring and reliable. It’s fast if you got the V6, but still doesn’t raise your pulse a bit. You get your occasional automotive jollies keeping the thing in top condition so it can at least crack triple digits when you get a wild hair and bury the long pedal long after having merged because it was a shit day in the office and you just need to burn off the chaff of the day. You keep it indefinitely because the owners of aforementioned little feet have consumed all of the money you used to spend on newer cars. Like an Accord V6 or an Odyssey (for larger families). You never actually sell it, thinking one day your little feet will make little feet of their own, and you might want the space, but it is removed from DD status.
When those little feet leave the house, you drive something expensive, fast, reliable, and poke its limits way too often. You rack up points on your license again, but years of driving experience help you keep it shiny-side up. Like a Acura TLX SH-AWD.
When people with grey hair start calling you sir, and you spend more time griping about the cost of everything than actually buying things, and you begin collecting a paycheck not for working, but merely because you’re still alive after having worked for so damned long, you return to driving your forgotten, high-mile old DD. But you’re not content to stay there. You want something that reminds you of your long-gone youth, but your reaction speed and tolerance for danger aren’t what they used to be, so fast is out. You go to a classic car auction downtown on a whim.
There’s a pristine 1989 CRX Si in red. It has a lot of miles, but has never been modified. It sits among much more exotic machinery, but you can’t take your eyes off the little 2-seater hatchback. You start to think about which battery-swap stops and convenience stores still sell gasoline, and make your choice. You register to bid. You win the CRX. It’s delivered to your home on a drone truck with a full tank of gasoline.
On your first drive, you keep to neighborhood streets, feeling the weight of the manual steering and the light precision of the 5-speed shifter. They remind you of your first car, but better than that rusted pile ever was. You’ve come full circle, and you couldn’t be happier.-
You nailed it. I totaled my dads CRX Si when I was about 18, built a Mitsubishi starion after that. Now (several cars later) I have a V6 accord. Some day, I’ll come back around to the cars of my earlier youth, but I’ll appreciate them more….
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Fascinating question. I look at my own life and think, “Hmmm…this isn’t so bad so far.” So, here goes:
1st Car: Sensible (but somewhat fun) hand me down. Mine was a 1984 Mercury Topaz with 5-speed manual which had been the family car until it was replaced by a 1987 Mercury Sable. It wasn’t very powerful, nor very fast. However, with the 5-speed it had a slow car fast mentality.
College Car: Reliable (i.e. cheap to own) people mover…lots of people. The biggest problem in college is not having any money. The second biggest problem is getting to and from parties without having to drink and drive. However, having a DD means that person isn’t imbibing in the cheap beer and revelry, so minimizing the number of DDs is key. Therefore, a 1987 Crown Vic wagon which could legally carry 8 people was perfect. One DD, 7 (or more) drinkers, and fun is had.
First Job Car: Bulletproof. Starting that career means being to work every day early and leaving late. OK, maybe not for everyone, but the bosses do still expect you to be reliable in your attendance. I had several friends screw their career aspirations because they chose fun and exotic over bulletproof. Yeah, a Maserati Biturbo is sweet, but when you miss a week of work every month because your car won’t start then you start to limit your ability to climb the corporate ladder. My “first job car” was a 2000 Ford Ranger. The 2.5L engine is bulletproof…heck, the truck could take anything thrown at it and keep going.
Early Career “I’ve Made It” Car: Luxury and good for road trips. Career established, it’s time to start enjoying some time with friends. I mean, the twenties are beginning to wane. I got a 2002 Ford Explorer XLT loaded. It was luxurious (at least compared to everything I had owned to date) and fantastic on road trips. It could tow my buddy’s boat if need be, take 5 of us up north for a weekend, and bomb down the highway with the best of them.
6-Weeks Before You Get Married Car: The toy. This is the time to buy that toy. I got a 2005 Mustang with manual. Oh yeah, my soon-to-be-wife didn’t know how to drive a manual.
Family Car: Safe, reliable, can hold a rear facing car seat without forcing the passenger in the dashboard. This doesn’t have to be a minivan or even an SUV. Life’s too short to drive boring cars. Get an E90 3-Series or, if you can swing it, keep that toy.
Mid-Life Crisis Car (i.e. mid-career “I’ve Made It” car): Fun and completely impractical. I’m thinking for mine it won’t be a daily driver. It’ll be a rally car. Maybe using a beat up E9 or E28 shell. Then I’ll blow my 401(k) on building it and entering Targa Newfoundland.
Old Person Car: The nest is empty, but life is too short to drive something boring. I haven’t thought enough ahead for this stage. Maybe I’ll freak out the young kids in their self-driving cars and drive my rally car to and from the Denny’s.
Hearse: Maybe I’ll finally get that Ferrari…
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Teenager: something cheap and sort of fun, but slightly ancient.
College: add a parts car. Maybe a second parts car by graduation.
First professional job: a really nice example of the car you had as a teen.
Marriage: add another one to the collection.
Kids: add the 4 door version.
Middle age: add the convertible version, with the high trim level. For your midlife crisis, LS swap.
Retirement: restore the one you drove as a teen. -
Screw lifecycle planning. I went from the Town Cow to the Kizashi.
Drive what you want, when you want, for as long as you want.
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Don’t sell anything. Buy each vehicle for a specific purpose as your need or want dictates – wagon, sports car, truck whatever. Maintain each and keep it forever. Put a key rack at the door to the garage to keep track. After several years, revel in the options you have every time you drive.
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Thank goodness. For a minute there I thought I’d been doing it wrong.
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In your case… revel in Seattle’s public transit and the Burke-Gilmam
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I see one of these in my (hopefully) distant future, an age-specific upgrade I don’t actually want:
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Flashers are stuck on. Not unexpected with 70s Cadillac reliability.
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They’re also blinking too fast, indicating that one or more of the other bulbs in the circuit isn’t working. Also as expected.
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The left front blinker is clearly (one of) the culprit(s).
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A year or two ago I found a former hearse W123 for sale which wasn’t built from a wagon but from a sedan stretched 8 inches and with god knows what wagon rear roof section on it. This would’ve been absolutely fantastic not even as a last ride, but as an everyday car as well. Sadly I had neither space nor use for it at the time. Still have the photo though.
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What on earth might have been the reasoning to use the sedan as a base? With Volvos, it’s also been the S80 preferred over the V70, but that’s at least a slightly different car (it’s wider).
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The wagon was introduced three years after the sedan, maybe it’s one of the first model years. Or the coachbuilder developed the hearse body for the sedan in the beginning and it was cheaper to keep using the sedan for base instead of developing a new body for the wagon. Plenty of scenarios. The curved C-pillar makes it look better than the regular wagon in my eyes anyway.
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I’ve thought about changing up my V8, RWD, 2-door formula – I considered a V6 Mustang in 2010 when I bought my 1st Challenger, then thought about a Charger instead of a Challenger when I traded up to a 2015 – but it’s been working since the mid-90’s when I was 14 and driving the family’s old ’73 Mercury Cougar.
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I think you should go with a V8, AWD, 2-door formula.
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I’m not opposed to this, but I did grow up in an Oldsmobile/Pontiac family. This was the scene in my dad’s shop about a week ago, from the approximate point of view of the Morris Minor:
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I already own my youth vehicle, my 900 hatchback.
I already own my mature “I need a comfortable, practical car”, my 9-5 wagon
AND I already own my midlife-crises-mobile, my 900 convertible.
How perfect is that?
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come on, mr emslie. you know mazda already wrote the best car commercial answering this exact question.
BOUGHT A ROADSTER, SECONDHAND-
Where do you think he got the idea for the question?
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Well. Let’s see. Hmm, mine’s starts off Ok, and then gets sort of terrible…
College: aging beater, quantity one car. No more than 75Hp/ton, manual transmission, no ac and a broken heater switch. Example: 1988 Toyota Tercel EZ
First job out of college: compromise car. Cheap, practical, possibly new. Maybe an automatic transmission because teaching your Fiance to drive stick was too traumatic. Example: 2006 Honda Civic Hybrid. Spend the next few years wishing you’d bought a Mustang GT for not much more money.
Burn out and quit the city life: Corporate America getting you down? Tired of 80 hour weeks, 3 hours of commuting per day and only getting dead end grunt work despite being a bright, promising junior employee? Feeling a tidge burnt out and maybe disillusioned with the Silicon Valley dream? Quit your job, buy and old Jeep and head to the hills to be a ski bum! Example: 2001 Jeep Wrangler 4.0L
Triumphant return to tech industry life: Has the tech industry bounced back and you’re tired of being broke? Join a start up! Keep the old Jeep because, fuckin’ a, that thing’s awesome! Example: 2001 Jeep Wrangler 4.0L
Failed marriage, but still have posh tech job: Single again? Too much money and no one to tell you no? Can’t quite afford a 911 (or maybe you could, but meh, don’t want the debt or a lease)? Time for early mid-life crisis mobile(s)! Pay cash for a motorcycle or two! Example: 2015 Yamaha TW200 and 2015 Yamaha FZ-07.
Not sure what comes next, but manual transmission and does good burnouts are at the top of the desired feature list. -
In my late 40s with the kids almost out of the house I went from the now 10 year old 2005 Mazda3 that I bought new to a $500, 20 year old BMW with nearly a quart of a million miles.
I might be doing this wrong.
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