“Barn Find” has become a real pain-in-the arse phrase. Stick it in eBay as a search term and you’ll be presented with a list of cars which have never been near a barn in their lives, nor been forgotten about for decades. Typically a Barn Find on eBay will involve a seventeen year old Nissan Micra being “found” in gran’s garage and then sold for whatever it’ll reach because she’s hung up her mink driving gloves for the last time. Of course, there’s a big difference between eBay; purveyors of hopeless crocks to the poor and indiscriminating, and Bonhams, purveyors of… well, hopeless crocks to the Rich and optimistic. Bonhams, the renown auction house, took charge of sales of high class hulks which might just have genuinely have been found in somebody’s barn. But which will you choose? 
Could Sir be tempted by an Alvis? I have two right here to tempt you with. Both from a collection which is being disbanded. Let’s begin with this TD21. Ok, it’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but Alvis is an extremely evocative name to have on the prow of your Gentleman’s coupe. Full disclosure of what we’re talking about here as lifted from Bonham’s auction catalogue: Alvis TD21 “…in 1978 it was …..restored to near concours standard. The rebuild included overhauls of the engine and automatic gearbox, while the original trim was refurbished. ‘518 AXU’ was then used as Malcolm Davey’s daily driver until 1984 when a cylinder liner slipped and the car was laid up, never to turn a wheel again. A good source of spares, or a restoration project for the brave and patient, the car is offered with its original logbook, expired MoT (1984), V5 registration document and an extensive file of receipts. It should be noted that the engine is seized.” Of course it is. But don’t let that put you off. 
Actually, you’ll probably be relieved to know that you’re too late. It’s already sold. The auction estimate was between a mere £500 and £1000, in the event it sold for £1955. Not a lot of money for all that history. If the TD21 is a bit too rakish for you, there’s another Alvis in the shape of this TA14 Shooting Brake Project. 
We like a Shooting Brake around here, this might be the ideal Olde English conveyance for a Longroofian. Also, looking at what we have here this rebuild would equally suit (and require) the skills of an engineer and a furniture restorer. Quoth The Auction Catalogue: “…..Fully restored to show standard in 1980, ‘FVE 609’ won the concours at that year’s South West Alvis Owner Club Day event and was featured in Automobile Quarterly. A misfire resulted in the car being laid up in 1988 and it has not been used since then. Surprisingly sound and a good basis for restoration, this rare Alvis shooting brake is offered with copy Car Record; an old-style continuation logbook; V5 registration document; expired MoT (1986); and numerous bills from marque specialists Red Triangle. It should be noted that the engine is seized.” 
Does that seized engine matter? I’m not sure it does, seeing as you’ll be dropping an LT1 or a 6BT in it anyway. But whatever your plans you’ll have to persuade the winning bidder, who got rather a bargain. The estimate was £2000-£3000 with no reserve, the gavel fell at just £1610. Alvis is an old, dead marque that loads of folk have long forgotten. Perhaps you’re more comfortable with a brand who are still kicking with both feet. If so, step this way to get involved with this early numbers-matching E-Type. 
Yeah, OK, this is a project and a half. When it comes to loading it onto a trailer you’ll need the assistance of a dustpan and brush. It’s not entirely clear how many of the bits in contact with the ground are still in attached to any form of chassis. This is as close as a car can get to being actual compost. But hey; a challenge is a good thing, no? The catalogue, he says: “….of all the versions of Jaguar’s long-lived and much-loved sports car, it is the very early ‘flat floor’ 3.8-litre cars built prior to February 1962 which, for many enthusiasts, remain the most desirable. One of some 400 right-hand drive ‘flat floor’ roadsters made, of which around 170 are estimated still to exist, this rare example was purchased on November 1984. Last used on the road in 1992, the Jaguar was then parked in the owner’s garage where it remained until extracted by Bonhams in August 2014. Apart from a later V12- model steering wheel, the car is totally original and complete, making it an ideal candidate for sympathetic restoration. It retains matching numbers, including the cylinder head. There are no documents with this Lot, which is sold strictly as viewed” Last used on the road well within my lifetime; I’m pleased to note that I’ve not gathered this much rust over the last 22 years. Would you have sufficient enthusiasm, devotion, sheer determination and deep enough pockets to take on a restoration on this scale? 
Well, it’s sold now anyway so you can put those dreams on ice for a while. The estimate was between £15,000-£20,000- The hammer price was, wait for it…… £77,600. And it doesn’t even claim to have ran when parked. (All images copyright Chris Haining / Hooniverse 2014)
By RoadworkUK
RoadworkUK is the online persona of Gianni Hirsch, a tall, awkward gentleman with a home office full of gently decomposing paper and a garage full of worthless scrap metal. He lives in the village of Moistly, which is a safe distance from London and is surrounded by enough water and scenery to be interesting. In another life, he has designed, sold, worked on and written about cars in exchange for small quantities of money.
Jeff Glucker