By Robert Emslie
Nothing said you’d made in in Soviet-era Russia quite like winning a Harley Davidson motorcycle in the lottery – or at least I think that’s what this poster is saying. On the other hand it could be an admonishment against drinking and driving and sidecar steering.
Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day. It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.
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Jeff Glucker
I’m going around looking for a car for my mom, which has been weird because she has mobility problems so I’m looking at something entirely different from what I’d care about as a buyer. Like door size is a huge thing, and seat height.
Anyway if you have MS and difficulty moving your left leg, maybe look at a Ford Escape or Edge or Honda CRV, my research has found. Don’t bother with a Jeep Cherokee and weirdly the GMC Terrain has doors that are way too small.
look at a Scion xB or a Honda Element or Fit. those cars are low, but have upright seating positions and seats close to waist height. maybe a Transit Connect if your mom doesn’t mind looking like a plainclothes plumber.
Fit isn’t large enough for both her walker – which is admittedly pretty massive – and her grandkids. I haven’t even seen an xB in this area and there isn’t an Element for sale nearby either. Like you don’t want low, it’s sort of… you want a car you can both fall into and out of, and if it’s too high or too low it doesn’t work. Like a Dodge Caravan, which she has now, has a very high seating position, so she has to go up to get into it, and it just doesn’t work. But a Toyota Matrix, for example, is slightly too low and doesn’t quite have enough door space, so her very inflexible leg gets caught on the edge of the door opening – which also makes me leery of the xB.
I know that it’s kind of counter-intuitive to get pretty into a crossover, but honestly the CR-V is actually kind of perfect for her very specific needs, same deal with the Escape I think. And I would never actually buy either car for myself.
something like the xB sort of sounds like the perfect middle ground between a Matrix and a Caravan. it’s not low like a lowrider, but it’s closer to human-level than a crossover. cars like the xB and the Nissan Cube are aimed at The Youth Market but tend to do well with older people for that very reason – they’re very easy to get into and out of.
on the other hand, if they don’t exist in your area, not much you can do about that.
Mazda 5? Neither really high nor really low, and the sliding rear door might be better than a hinged door to get the walker in the back.
You might ALSO need to find an old Thunderbird though, so you can move it’s swiveling driver seat into the front of the 5…
European folks with trouble raising/lowering their hips like the Mercedes B-class, Skoda Yeti, or Ford EcoSport. (the “lower” CUVs in general).
Oh, and maybe there is a GM equivalent to the Opel Mokka?
That’s the Buick Encore/Chevy Trax over here. A good idea.
Actually too small, and it has a narrow cargo area which doesn’t jibe with her walker. It’s actually different from a hip thing, it’s a leg problem, so big door openings are a HUGE part of what we need to look for.
I see… currently no idea, but I understand your challenge noq.
It’s actually interesting to see when you go to a dealer, some salesmen are really good at anticipating what you kind of need to look for – the guy at Ford’s wife has the same problem, so he’d point out stuff I didn’t even think of – while others are just baffled by what you have to take into account (or why I was there instead of her).
Did you try a Ford Flex? Those doors look pretty big. Dodge Journey too maybe.
Flex: There aren’t any on local lots, but she is considering one. Apparently she asked someone about theirs in a parking lot somewhere.
Journey: Nope, brother had one and she hated it.
Toyota Highlander, Venza or Rav4 would be worth one stop to check out. Depending on other criteria a full-on minivan might be worth a look. If Ma Citric has a utilitarian streak in her, perhaps a Transit Connect wagon.
Full blown minivans are too high, she’s got a Caravan right now and they mount the seat higher up, which she can’t get into. Rav4 might work though.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v669/CAPE97/toyota-sienna-auto-customs-bagged-air-ride-suspension-stance-slammed-van-006.jpg
Lord help me, I like it.
According to this Amazon ad (http://www.amazon.com/Russian-Political-Propaganda-MOTORCYCLE-AVTODORS/dp/B00D9VFI40) it says “WIN A MOTORCYCLE IN AVTODOR’S LOTTERY! 50 KOPECKS A TICKET!”
With a bit of research, it seems that Avotodor was/is kinda/maybe the Russian equivalent of Transport Canada.
Any Russian Hoons out there who want to chime in?
Here’s something you might like: A high mountain village in Norway, Vågå, arranges a festival called “Traktorrock”. Yes, it’s rock’n’roll with traktors. A friend posted this video on FB – I’m on a slow connection and haven’t seen it myself yet:
http://mobil.gd.no/tv/traktorrock-5-18-143247.html
On topic: I brought coasters with actual anti-alco-propaganda back from Russia:
http://edwintrommelen.nl/et/img/poster.jpg
Just a shame we don’t use coasters.
Sweet! That’s definitely something I would like to see.
Yes, this is correct. And yes, I speak fluent Russian.
I just want to know if giant Dave Thomas and tiny Ruth Buzzi come with the sidehack.
Beer report!
From my island fortress 4 miles off the coast of Massachusetts I’m tenuously connected to the interwebs to bring you the Batshitbox Beer Report. There’s nowt to do on the island but walk around in circles and drink beer on other people’s porches, until such time as you wisely retire to your own porch and host the passers-by. There are also no cars on the island, except the two piles of rust that were a Model T and a Harley Trike.
“West Coast Style” IPA seems to be the big thing in beer. I have traveled 3000 miles to be greeted by Ipswich (MA) Brewing’s “Route 101” IPA. The town of Ipswich is on US Route 1 which runs the Eastern coast from Florida to Maine, and the beer is named for California’s US Route 101 which mirrors it on the West coast.
I’m not a fan of “West Coast Style” IPA. It’s an already hoppy ale with a bucket of pine-y hops thrown in on top at the last minute and not given enough time to mellow out. IPAs were brewed with the long trip from England to India in mind and should be given ample time to mature. (Cheers to Almanac, Russian River and Green Flash for getting it right.)
Anyway. So far I’ve sampled, and not really hated or loved…
Ipswich Route 101 “West Coast Style” IPA (Massachusetts)
Baxter Brewing Stowaway IPA (Maine)
Baxter Tarnation California Lager (“Authentic San Francisco Lager Yeast!”. Lager yeasts are notoriously homogeneous, with the two strains Frohberg and Saaz responsible for all lager everywhere ever.)
Harpoon Take 5 Session IPA (Massachusetts)
Long Trail brewing Long Trail Ale (Vermont)
603 Brewery 603 (Another beer named for the telephone area code! Actually, a whole brewery!) (New Hamster)
Liquid Riot Bottling Company Burton Ale on Funk (Maine)
Liquid Riot Barrel Aged Quad
Perhaps when my vessel runs aground again I’ll have more to say about cars, but for now, it’s beer. Also, I saw a lightning storm. Made my day.