Buck Nekkid, Dewy Hyman, Jay Leno– porn stars always have stage names that are in some way salacious. But what if they were limited to using only car names to create their sexy sobriquets? If using only the appellations applied to autos, what would be some good porn star names?
Maybe something along the lines of Avalon Probe or Tundra Explorer would work? Keep in mind that the name has to connote the actor’s forte, so cars like the Nano should be avoided, but its maker- Tata – would be a good choice.
Okay, I know this is a tough one, but I have confidence in you guys to come up with some good choice. What’s the best car-based porn star names?
Image sources: [Electronic Music, Sensual Female]
Hooniverse Asks- What's the Best Car-Derived Porn Name?
By Robert Emslie
Feb 11, 2010
Jeff Glucker
Ram Festiva
Bonnie Villewoody
Minnie Fastback
Testarossa Cougar
Brougham Ranger
Star Chief Swinger
Tata Matador
Max Torque and Victory Lane…
"Throbbing with the excitement of conquest, Max Torque slid into Victory Lane, paying no heed to the hundreds of nearby spectators."
Dodge Magnum. Which sort of makes sense, if you think about it.
Dictator LeFemme
Max Mosley's stage name?
V-twins (a double act)
Romeo MiTo
Piston Honda (from Mike Tyson's Punch Out always made me laugh)
Forced Induction (starring in a transgendered role)
Max Mosley
Okay, just a few more and then I have to go back to work…
– Tata Vue
– Hummer Superba
– Achieva Rendezvous
– Luv Urge
– Chief Diablo
– Peugette St. Regis (not that it's suggestive, it just sounds like the sort of fancy name porn stars make up)
for "alternative lifestyle" stars:
– Cowboy Ranger
– Bronco Clubman
– Montana Fireball
– Trans Sport (yea, that one really doesn't need anything else, now does it?)
and even though it really doesn't work as a name…
Thing Storm
"Checker Rolls" for a BBW actress.
"Saggy Springs" if you're into the mature stuff
"Connie Kit" if you like a gal with a bit of junk in the trunk
Got a midget fetish? Check out Tiny Miata's performance in the classic film "Blown Trannies".
Stroker Ace
Nitro LaCrosse
Woodruff Powerbulge
"Iron" Duke Torqthrust
Cam Shaft
Max Payload
Shelby Superleggera
Apollo Pushrod
Stag Rekord
Aurora Sky
Electra Phoenix
And of course the latest latina starlet, Nova Cimarron!
Pinto…
Tap her in the rear…
She has such a hot ass.
Malibu Brat
Lada Wildcat
Fairlady Swinger
Rapide Prelude
Opel Allroad
S.I. Lycoming ("as I lie coming" …yes, it's a stretch, but there was a Lycoming Special race car)
And Mighty Max Torpedo once did a scene with Mini Canyon.
I like Fairlady Swinger. She doesn't like being tied to one man.
Humpy Wheeler
Dick Trickle approves of this selection.
As does The Intimidator.
Fulvia LeBaron
Miura Omologato
Fiesta Viggen
And, for Charles, Twingo Ford.
Nice ones!
"Fulvia" makes me laugh all by itself.
Claudia Ferrari. The End. What do I win?
Holden Tata
Lada Diablo
Countach Cummins
These are for the more…er…revealing videos.
You're good at this…
You're good at this…
Mustang Terlingua – Hung like horse and f#$%** like a rabbit…
<img src="http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2007/11/terlingua_team.jpg" style="width: 478px; height: 302px; border: 0" alt="imgTag" />
Lada Mystique
It is addicting, isn't it? I've forced myself to stop writing them, but I am reviewing specs today — which is mentally numbing — so my mind keeps thinking of them.
Like Domino Sable or Octavia Breeze.
Fabia Shadow, Giulia Fuego and Derby Fox had quite the scene in "Turbo Trooper Hummer III".
Oh my god….. make it stop, I can see every one of these performers in my head…. Oh God, I'm not going to get any work done….. Now excuse me, I have to run to the rest room for some…. none of your business….
[youtube cZ1oA-QBflI http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZ1oA-QBflI youtube]
I was strangely mesmerized by it.
Crap! Wrong article!
RAM SLT
SRX CTS
GAZ Camshaft
I like mixing names and parts. Its just dirty.
There was a guy on set named "Rapid Commer" but he didn't last a long time.
Lancia Brougham
Celeste Crosley
Cosmo Crankshaft
Silvia Skyline
Silvia Skyline, I can see her already.
Well, I have to nominate my own porn star name (pet's name + street you grew up on)……Hot Rod Lincoln.
I absolutely crash and burn on that one. Mine would be Little Bit Nagawicka. I'm not sure what to think if that one.
I absolutely crash and burn on that one. Mine would be Little Bit Nagawicka. I'm not sure what to think if that one.
I absolutely crash and burn on that one. Mine would be Little Bit Nagawicka. I'm not sure what to think if that one.
Rocky Rampage
Dictator LeFemme
Max Mosley's stage name?
V-twins (a double act)
Romeo MiTo
Piston Honda (from Mike Tyson's Punch Out always made me laugh)
Forced Induction (starring in a transgendered role)
Max Mosley
V-twins (a double act)
Romeo MiTo
Piston Honda (from Mike Tyson's Punch Out always made me laugh)
Forced Induction (starring in a transgendered role)
Max Mosley
Cherokee Fastback
Wrangler Renegade
Blackwood Porsche
Nash Sprite
Okay, just a few more and then I have to go back to work…
– Tata Vue
– Hummer Superba
– Achieva Rendezvous
– Luv Urge
– Chief Diablo
– Peugette St. Regis (not that it's suggestive, it just sounds like the sort of fancy name porn stars make up)
for "alternative lifestyle" stars:
– Cowboy Ranger
– Bronco Clubman
– Montana Fireball
– Trans Sport (yea, that one really doesn't need anything else, now does it?)
and even though it really doesn't work as a name…
Thing Storm
Shelby Cummins
I'd have to go for Tigra Innocenti. Sounds exotic, but at the same time you suspect she could probably… uh…
I'd have to go for Tigra Innocenti. Sounds exotic, but at the same time you suspect she could probably… uh…
heh…you mean stick-shift tranny?
Nitro Rampage
Sierra La Femme
Cedric Durango
Mack Powerstroke starring with the east european beauty, Kamaz Tatra. Also starring Corsa DeTomaso, Cummins Spider, and a special appearance by Admiral Golden Hawk.
-Eos Fiero
-Dacia Daytona
-Altima Veyron
-Camry Cruze
-Dakota Sandero
-Previa Seville
-Rio LaCrosse
-Viggen Carrera
Synopsis:
Scene 1: A BEL AIR COUGAR and her HARDBODY SIDEKICK hook up with an EXECUTIVE SWINGER and a SUBURBAN BARRACUDA (Starring STELLINA SUNBIRD &
CITY SKYLINE, with ACE TALON & CHARGER ROCKET)
Scene 2: An OUTBACK ADVENTURER takes on a MALIBU RAMBLER and a TURNPIKE CRUISER (CARRERA FREELANDER, COLT STAG, JIMMY ARROW)
Scene 3: In this superhero parody, the "NAKED AVENGER" (MACK LeSABRE) faces off against SAMURAI SUPERBIRD (MAKO SAPPORO)
Scene 4: A PARISIENNE GRADUATE (MARLENE MIRA) is seduced by a CELEBRITY WILDCAT (ARIEL SOMERSET)
Scene 5: A VIBE PROBE scene with ELECTRA EXPLORER
Scene 6: A GOLF CADDY (CHERRY SILHOUETTE) gets trained by a CHAMPION SPORTSMAN (APOLLO VENTURA)
Scene 7: An AMERICAN AMBASSADOR (JAVELIN STINGER) negotiates with a SENIOR DIPLOMAT (AMI VIXEN)
Directed by CAROL CALAIS
Produced by EUROSPORT Films
(Yes, every word in all caps is a car make or model…)
I wish I could click the thumb thingy about 500 more times. You win!
I think you've won this round, Tanshanomi.
And, just for the record:
Chevy BEL AIR
Mercury COUGAR
Nissan HARDBODY
Suzuki SIDEKICK
Chrysler/Packard/Pontiac EXECUTIVE
Dodge Dart SWINGER
Chevy SUBURBAN
Plymouth BARRACUDA
Autobianchi STELLINA
Pontiac SUNBIRD
Honda CITY
Nissan SKYLINE
AC ACE
Eagle TALON
Dodge CHARGER
Brabus ROCKET/Oldsmobile ROCKET 88
Subaru OUTBACK
De Soto ADVENTURER
Chevy MALIBU
IKA/Nash RAMBLER
Mercury TURNPIKE CRUISER
Porsche CARRERA
Land Rover FREELANDER
Dodge COLT
Triumph STAG
GMC JIMMY
Plymouth ARROW
Daihatsu NAKED
Dodge AVENGER
MACK trucks
Buick LeSABRE
Suzuki SAMURAI
Plymouth SUPERBIRD
Corvette MAKO Shark (concept car)
Plymouth SAPPORO
Pontiac PARISIENNE
Alfa Romeo Spyder GRADUATE
MARLENE ('36 Mecedes replicar)
Daihatsu MIRA
Chevy CELEBRITY
Buick WILDCAT
ARIEL Atom
Buick Regal SOMERSET
Pontiac VIBE
Ford PROBE
Buick ELECTRA
Ford EXPLORER
Volkswagen GOLF
Volkswagen CADDY
Datusn CHERRY
Oldsmobile SILHOUETTE
Mahindra/Studebaker CHAMPION
De Soto/Dodge SPORTSMAN
Buick APOLLO
Pontiac VENTURA
Rambler AMERICAN
AMC AMBASSADOR
AMC JAVELIN
Pontiac STINGER (concept car)
Dodge SENIOR
Dodge DIPLOMAT
Citroën AMI 6/8
TVR VIXEN
Mazda CAROL
Cadillac CALAIS
Chevy Celebrity EUROSPORT
Epic win, Tanshanomi. I'm not even gonna try after this. It would just look stupid.
I think you've won this round, Tanshanomi.
Yep. Not even gonna try. Too busy being amazed.
And pleased that I knew basically all of those, I suppose.
Magnum torpedo
I respectfully submit, from Australia, ‘Holden Outback Probe.’ C’mon, be gentle. It’s my first submission.
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