Hooniverse Asks- What Would be the Greatest Race-off?

Consider if you will an evenly matched challenge between two vastly disparate competitors. If the Step Up movies have taught us anything – other than there’s never not going to be yet another Step Up movie sequel – it’s that such competitions are the most rewarding to watch, and sweatiest in which to participate.
Now, I can’t dance, having been born with two left feet, which also happens to make heel and toeing a challenge, but I do know that the concept of a dance off is directly comparable to disparate contenders on the track. On the dance floor two competitors – one plucky and earnest but poor, and the other rich enough to afford dance augmentation surgery – vie for supremacy, and you bet only one can win. Similarly, on the track, there’s nothing more exciting than seeing two wildly different challengers vie for the prize.
Whether it’s bike versus car, racer vs street, or dog against cat, seeing who is the quickest is where it’s at. The contenders are still dancing, they’re just doing it on the track instead of an amazingly stylish and well-lit back alley. What do you think would be the greatest match-up for the ultimate race-off?
Image: CarBikeGallery

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  1. PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ Avatar
    PotbellyJoe ★★★★★

    Electric car charging station infrastructure vs Direct-to-Consumer Auto sales.
    Which one will go national first, GO!
    Kidding (not really, more crying.)
    I'd love to see an Anchorage to Key West Race* that is "Run what you brung." Highway, dirt, railway, water, dogsled, I don't care so long as its primary terrain is not in the air.
    *Race implies who will finish first, not maxing out speeds. I think they should be bound to the limitations of their method of travel. If there's a 25 mph road, guess what, you're doing 25 mph.

    1. Eric Rood Avatar
      Eric Rood

      "I'd love to see an Anchorage to Key West Race* that is "Run what you brung." Highway, dirt, railway, water, dogsled, I don't care so long as its primary terrain is not in the air. "
      I have gone so far as to plan routes for a Key West to Fairbanks rally that forbids interstate highways and would probably have a budgetary cap, but I have no idea how to even start the logistics of such a race. Money would probably help. And a car, though I have a semi-willing accomplice with the perfect(ly awful) piece of equipment.
      Paging Hooniverse advertising partners: Please empty your wallets for this. I can return pennies on your dollars!

      1. PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ Avatar
        PotbellyJoe ★★★★★

        They should run it over the week that is the summer solstice. 24 Hours of LeMons presents The Longest Week Ever.
        $750 cap for car. Meet in Key West and drive to Fairbanks/Anchorage/Nome. Good luck with that Hooptie and customs. Maybe have some requirements along the way, road rally style.
        I wonder if a stupid cheap and wholly unreliable RV starts to make sense with round the clock driving.

        1. Alff Avatar

          That cap destroys the Rally Subie vs Baja Bronco vs Baja Bug battle I'd like to see.

          1. PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ Avatar
            PotbellyJoe ★★★★★

            Maybe it's run in classes. The unlimited class (weight limit though), the Family-hauler class (which must have 7 seats) capped at $3000, and the On a budget fleeing which is capped at $750.
            I think the unlimited class would be the hardest to win on the time versus reliability factor.

          2. Sjalabais Avatar

            Not sure how I should interpret the "oh, yes, cool!" in my mind when I read "family hauler class"…great idea anyway!

  2. Lokki Avatar

    Not exactly on point but one the most interesting odd-couple races I have heard about was when Car & Driver magazine raced a Tesla Model S against a Ford Model T
    Who won? Well, it was lot closer than you would think.

    1. Vairship Avatar

      Both of them caught fire and burned to the ground? 😉

    2. Vairship Avatar

      Great article. But wouldn't Model T versus Nissan Leaf be more in keeping with the market positions (and lead to a solid win for the T)?
      Or Duesenberg versus Model S (which the Duesenberg might just win convincingly)?

  3. MrDPR Avatar

    1971 Volkswagen beetle VS 2015 Corvette in a 20 yard dash.

  4. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    A series of Hovercraft vs. Monowheel match-ups on a dry lake bed: drag race, slalom course, mile oval, top speed run, shortest 0-100KPH-0 distance, and motoball as the grand finale. I'd drive just about any distance and camp in a tent to see that.
    <img src="http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/03/77/52/a0/flo-ridaz-hovercraft.jpg"&gt;
    <img src="http://www.popularmechanics.com/cm/popularmechanics/images/6A/monowheel-portrait-0707.jpg"&gt;

    1. BlackIce_GTS Avatar

      The second guy's expression is a perfect blend of "You got a problem, buddy?" and "Oh God what am I doing?"

  5. Eric Rood Avatar
    Eric Rood

    A week of Top Gear-style challenges: Drag strip, time trials, point-to-point navigation, campouts, taxi services, concours judging, etc.
    The competitors?
    <img src="http://www.murileemartin.com/UG/LWA13/400-UG-Pacific_Northworst_24_Hours_of_LeMons.jpg&quot; width="500">
    <img src="http://hooniverse.info/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/PeugeotDaddy.jpg&quot; width="500">

    1. mdharrell Avatar

      The 96 is much more capable than any French car I've ever driven*, so count me in.
      *Sample size = 1.

  6. Juliet C. Avatar
    Juliet C.

    Hellcat vs. Veyron driven by randomly selected soccer moms.

    1. Sjalabais Avatar

      Culminating in a parking spot challenge?

      1. Vairship Avatar

        My money is on the Hellcat <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6b/F6F-5_HVAR_NOTS_NAN4-2-45.jpg&quot; width=600>
        Source: Wikipedia
        Depending on picking the right soccer mom of course <img src="http://navypilotoverseas.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/grum1659grummanwomentestpilotscapti.jpg&quot; width=600>
        Source: <a href="https://navypilotoverseas.wordpress.com” target=”_blank”>https://navypilotoverseas.wordpress.com

  7. nanoop Avatar

    I am currently uncreative, but the intro text reminded me of "Strictly Ballroom". I'm not a dancer neither, but that one was entertaining.

  8. geistkoenig Avatar

    Street-legal cars now have power levels that are scarily comparable to pure racers with big-bore engines from not too long ago. If we're not quite up to 917-30 output yet, we're getting there – with everyday drivability, reasonable fuel consumption, and clean emissions thrown into the mix.
    But to see just how far we've come from a performance perspective, a series of races between two plastic-bodied Chevrolet-powered sportsters:
    The new Corvette Z06
    <img src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/foK5Q_9yqSM/maxresdefault.jpg&quot; width="720">
    and, say, the McLaren M6B
    <img src="http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s27/JAtM_tracer/KIC%202010/1968McLarenM6B_WP_1.jpg&quot; width="720">
    around Lime Rock, Watkins Glen, Road America, and Laguna Seca.

    1. hubba Avatar

      The smaller the track, the more daylight the M6 will put ahead of the Vette. The M6 weighs less than half the Vette, so cornering and acceleration out of corners will literally be in a different league.

    2. Lokki Avatar

      I can't find exactly that match up (probably because after finding this data I quit looking) but I did find a lap time for a new Z-28 around Watkins Glen at 1:36.17.
      And a reference to a McLaren M20 qualifying at Watkins Glen "under the magic 100 Second mark" which would suggest a time of 1:39 http://www.bruce-mclaren.com/the-cars/canam/mclar
      The M20 was a 1972 Can Am car, newer, more aerodynamic, and more powerful (8. Liter) l than the 1967 M6 (5.9 Liter)

      1. hubba Avatar

        The 1972 qually lap is on the 3.4mi Watkins Glen GP course with the boot sans chicane. Lap record is 1:34 by an IMSA GTP car in 1990. (The last F1 races were on the long course with both boot and chicane; best F1 lap with chicane was 1:33 by a turbo/ground effect car in 1980.)
        According to the article, the Camaro was lapping the 2.4mi Barber Motorsports Park circuit, not Watkins Glen, at 1:36.
        The record for the 2.4mi Watkins Glen short course is 1:07 by a Daytona Prototype.

        1. Lokki Avatar

          I see… A slight difference

  9. Batshitbox Avatar

    Rally Fighter vs. Caterham Seven. Starting from two sealed crates.

    1. Vairship Avatar

      Add a 1957 Chevy from CARS Inc, also in crates (with perhaps a more modern crate motor) http://www.prweb.com/releases/2006/08/prweb425863

  10. HycoSpeed Avatar

    <img src="https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7530/16086634307_d26a48c299_o.jpg&quot; width=600>
    Let's settle this once and for all…

    1. tiberiusẅisë Avatar

      I found this one funny.[youtube fgGm0mA1FLY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgGm0mA1FLY youtube]

      1. HycoSpeed Avatar

        "You'll die in the Jeep, but you'll die Jeepin', so I call that a tie."
        I did not realize those Gator things cost that much these days. I have a cousin who has one that he put some sort of overly excessive, surely not compensating, 3+ foot lift suspension on. I can only imagine now how much money he has in the thing, since the original price is about 3-4 times higher than I was guessing!

    1. Preludacris Avatar

      Or… the new NSX vs. new Ford GT in the 1500m, still on ice.

    1. dr zero Avatar
      dr zero

      Instead of a race you could have a vote on which one is more phallic.

  11. 1977chevytruck Avatar

    Built vs. Bought
    Bugatti Veyron (or whatever the fastest production car is nowadays)
    <img src="http://images.thecarconnection.com/lrg/bugatti-veyron-super-sport_100315491_l.jpg&quot; width="600">
    vs. Jeff Lutz's 1957 Chevrolet "Evil Twin" (or latest Hot Rod Drag Week winner at time of race)
    <img src="http://www.torqueandtread.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/jeff-lutz-57-Chevy.jpg&quot; width="600">
    1/4 mile, no holds barred, quickest to the end wins.

    1. Eric Rood Avatar
      Eric Rood

      Lutz's Chevy was at PRI. That's a mean-looking mofo; I wouldn't bet against it.