Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist
Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. 
Last week we looked for cars with the most outrageously bordello-like interiors. I was surprised how many of you knew, spot-on, what a cat house interior looked like, but that was only a momentary distraction once I saw all the luxuriant splendor on display. We’ll see who’s the most bordellicious in a sec, but first this week’s quest.
Hey, if you’re going to be running a house of ill repute then you’re most likely going to be dealing in cash. And if you’re dealing in cash, you’re going to need to protect yourself when you head to the bank, or where ever you keep that dough-rey-me. That’s why this week we want the best armored cars (actual cars or those Brinks Job trucks) you can find.
As always, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Since we’ve changed commenting systems, you may need to update your commenter account. Make sure you have a Disqus account – they’re free and easy to get – and then comment away.

Got that? Good, Now, let’s see which is the pimpest ride.


To be honest with you, seeing all that tufted velour and leather, my first instinct wasn’t playtime, but nap time. I really want to curl up in the back seat of the ’78 Lincoln MkV found by Manic_King and saw some logs. Two years newer but equally pillow-tastic was the Olds 98 Regency that OA5599 came across. I’m getting sleepy just looking at it, even in its red light district hue.
Of course you don’t want to be sleeping while you’re driving, in fact you want as few distractions as possible when you’re behind the wheel. That’s probably why this 1975 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham has so few miles on it (29,000) as its all-original interior is so pimptastic that it’s hugely distracting. Located by Manic_King as well, it takes the cake for the most bordello-like (albeit tacky) interior.
Thank you all for playing, and congrats to Manic_King for the win.
http---www.2040-cars.com-Cadillac-Fleetwood-all-original-29k-mile-1975-cadillac-fleetwood-brougham-perfect-condition--885335-
 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

    1. BigRedCaveTroll Avatar
      BigRedCaveTroll

      I wonder if all the places covered in body filler are from getting shot. That would make it way cooler.

      1. 0A5599 Avatar
        0A5599

        The ad says the windows have been replaced. Maybe used for target practice.

    2. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      I think you mean NOT powered by GMC.

      1. 0A5599 Avatar
        0A5599

        Technically, not powered by Ford.

  1. Double Avatar
    Double

    Does this count? It has “ballistic door panels,” which sounded like CL-style sales puffery to me. But then I found a pdf of Dodge police car options.
    http://elmira.craigslist.org/cto/5533110723.html

  2. jim Avatar
    jim

    https://secure.pic.autoscout24.net/images-big/075/488/0270488075001.jpg?e588e839f26725dca2d57a45089199c6
    One-off Lancia Delta Integrale Evoluzione previously owned by a certain Leopoldo Pirelli, at the time CEO of his namesake tire company.
    https://www.autoscout24.com/offers/-270488075

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Wow, fantastic. Who would this have been designed to fend off? By 1991, the Brigate Rosse had been defunct for three years.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Brigades

      1. Vairship Avatar
        Vairship

        Michelin, Continental, etcetera.

  3. Muthalovin Avatar
    Muthalovin

    Pretty legit, and only $6k!
    For sale or trade armored 1997 BMW 750 il Mex 106,XXX Km.
    “The cost of the car at the time was $460, 980.00 from which $149,680 for the unit and $311,300 for the armor.”

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Dude, where’s my link?

        1. dukeisduke Avatar
          dukeisduke

          Danke.

        2. dukeisduke Avatar
          dukeisduke

          You’d have better luck importing it into Canada, since it’s over 15 years old (but not yet 25, bummer for Americans).

          1. engineerd Avatar
            engineerd

            There are some available on US Craigslist. They are droolworthy.

    2. Vairship Avatar
      Vairship

      Of course you *might* be pursued by angry Mexican drug lords mistaking you for the previous owner. Or get caught by narco-dogs because they forgot to empty out that one hidden compartment…

  4. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    What your grandfather thinks of when he hears the words, “mobile banking”.
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/2005-Ford-Other-E-450-Super-/331824391225?_trksid=p2141725.m3641.l6368

  5. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    On the Tijuana Craigslist is this armored Avalanche. I wonder if the plastic cladding becomes part of the armor?
    http://tijuana.craigslist.com.mx/cto/5533968471.html

    1. LEROOOY Avatar
      LEROOOY

      And it’s not the rare 2500 version? Weird.

  6. CruisinTime Avatar
    CruisinTime

    All the Gold in California
    Is in a bank in the middle of
    Beverly Hills…In Somebody elses name.

  7. mdharrell Avatar

    In unrelated Craigslist news, the asking price for this tribute to the power of positive scrub radius has come down from $4000 to $2500. Yes, I’m still watching.
    http://images.craigslist.org/00w0w_co1nZW3X6dr_600x450.jpg
    http://seattle.craigslist.org/kit/cto/5468853160.html
    http://hooniverse.info/2016/03/08/axle-pivoting-propane-fueled-nailhead-powered-dune-buggy-thing-breaks-barriers-in-wtfery/

  8. Joram Avatar
    Joram

    Just to prove that you can have an armoured car, and still look stylish as hell:
    http://www.taurisano.it/LANCIA_Thesis_PROTECTA_B6_3_2_V6_24V_aut_Euro_4_Emblema/automobile-marino-1346841.htm

  9. Krautwursten Avatar
    Krautwursten

    Here’s a German Sonderwagen 2 rolling shell. The downsides: It’s literally a rolling shell, it’s in bad condition and nothing really works. The upsides: It still has the gun turret on it, it comes with an entire pile of loose parts, and most importantly it’s only three grand! Not thirty, THREE!
    http://ww3.autoscout24.de/classified/287042780

  10. Krautwursten Avatar
    Krautwursten

    Here’s a German Sonderwagen 2 rolling shell. The downsides: It’s
    literally a rusty rolling shell, I can’t see anything in it apart from a steering wheel. The upsides: It still has the gun turret on it, it comes with an
    entire pile of loose parts, and most importantly it’s only three grand!
    Not thirty, THREE!
    http://ww3.autoscout24.de/classified/287042780

  11. Krautwursten Avatar
    Krautwursten

    Here’s a German Sonderwagen 2 rolling shell. The downsides: It’s literally a rusty rolling shell, I can’t even see anything in it apart from a steering wheel. The upsides: It still has the gun turret on it, it comes with an entire pile of loose parts, and most importantly it’s only three grand!
    Not thirty, THREE!
    http://ww3.autoscout24.de/classified/287042780

    1. Rover 1 Avatar
      Rover 1

      Get it going and…
      No more parking troubles!

  12. Texlenin Avatar
    Texlenin

    Collin/Denton/Grayson Tx new residents…ask some old-timers about ” April”s , Michell’s (sic) or the “Hot Tub Club” Sure to get a rueful grin or a blast of fire n brimstone….but they all knew where the bordello was……