Does your family have a member so disreputable that no one even dares speak their name? That’s usually the case and it took me a while to figure out that the reason I didn’t know that individual’s ID in my family was because it was me. We’ve all since come to terms with the situation. Many businesses never come to terms with a failed product name, and in fact they typically cast the offending sobriquet onto salted earth, lest it ever spring forth again. That’s why we’ll never likely see another Microsoft Bob, Colgate Kitchen Entrees, or yes, the big Kahuna of tainted names, the Edsel.
When it comes to cars, Edsel remains the gold standard of product cock-ups. It wasn’t that the cars were terrible or anything – they weren’t – it’s just that they were introduced to fill a niche that Ford thought existed, but that in fact, didn’t. It doesn’t help any that Edsel happens to be a Ford family name. D’oh!
Of course while the worst of the worst, Edsel doesn’t stand alone in the cold dark wasteland of failed automotive names, and today I’d like your votes for what other car and truck names have been in some way tainted, either by a crap product, or like the Edsel, through unfortunate positioning. What name do you think will forever be relegated to history?
Image: WSJ.com
Hooniverse Asks- Acknowledging Edsel, What Tainted Car Name Will Never Again be Used?
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85 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- Acknowledging Edsel, What Tainted Car Name Will Never Again be Used?”
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Let’s get the low hanging fruits out of the way
http://www.imcdb.org/i551609.jpg
http://s1.cdn.autoevolution.com/images/gallery/CADILLACCatera-1042_3.jpg-
I dunno, get Lisa Catara as your spokeswoman and you’ve got a tagline right in her name.
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http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f0/Ford_Pinto.jpg
I mean, it’d make a bang if they used this again, but they probably won’t.-
Aye, ye done stolt my answer! Good thing this new commenting system tells us when there’s a new comment so’z we can minimize that sort of thing.
::puts thinking cap back on::
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Looks like I’ve been beaten on Pinto, but another contender
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“Disclaimer: The things what they’re saying about Vega are not suitable for all audiences, Parental Guidance is recommended”
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No AC, and no FM, and no regrets…
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I would do dirty dirty things for an SBC chevette
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Well, to make one, you’d have to do dirty dirty things, wouldn’t you? Literally, I mean — didn’t their engine offerings top out at four cylinders?
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Yeah, or buy one that has been done… or buy one that has a big block. http://bringatrailer.com/2014/10/03/super-sleeper-427-powered-1978-chevrolet-chevette/
http://bringatrailer.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/1978-Chevrolet-Chevelle-Engine.jpg-
I’d want to have something like 2.21 gears on that to keep it from lighting up the rears at idle.
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Thumbs up for the Audio Adrenaline reference
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Didn’t know if anyone would get that. Haven’t listened to them since I was a wee youthgrouper in a Southern Baptist church that would have probably disapproved of them because they were rock.
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We Bible Belters have to stick together.
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Zero to sixty, sometimes.
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The other Vette.
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Low-hanging fruit: Aztek.
Less obvious: Ford Escort. While a huge sales success for Ford throughout the product’s run, it’s not an aspirational model by any means. It was a great appliance. I don’t think many mainstream buyers (read: Not Us) would look back on that car and think, “I’d really like to own another one of those.” It also doesn’t fit into Ford’s F-name convention for cars (Focus, Fiesta, Flex, Fusion, Taurus nee Five Hundred) and E-names for SUVs (Escape, Explorer, Edge, Expedition). I think the Escort is stone dead, forever.-
And “Fescort” sounds like a nasal decongestant.
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The Escort name actually lives on in other markets http://www.ford.com.cn/cars/escort
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The Escort’s only hope is a Fiesta-based crossover that Ford will inevitably bring over, as it fits the SUV naming scheme, and they probably still own the trademark. Not great odds, but still.
I don’t ever expect to see another Probe though.-
The Fiesta-based crossover (subcompact/B-segment) is currently the EcoSport, though I wouldn’t put it past Ford to change the name if/when they bring it over.
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All they would need to do is drop the PO and move the S over to make an EScort.
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Considering Ford brought the Fiesta name back, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a new Escort at some point.
If they do, I hope we get RS2000 variants and Cosworth variants.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/39/Ford_Escort_RS2000_MkI.jpg/1024px-Ford_Escort_RS2000_MkI.jpg-
Dude, the Fiesta name never went away, they just didn’t sell them in the US. The cool RWD escorts became dull FWD escorts, until Ford realized they needed to stop phoning it in and replaced the escort with the Focus which was so, so much better than the MK5 Escort. The name change shows you how far the name had been tarnished in its home territory, so I doubt it’s coming back anytime soon
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If we’re going to play this game, the Escort name is alive and well in China for 2015.
I was talking North America, obviously. Dude.-
Yeah, but two things, first you make visual reference to “our” Escort, and if the name has no chance in the very territory it’s genuinely known and revered (i.e. UK and Ireland) where MK1 and MK2 escorts still pound the clubman rally stages on a regular basis and not just in historic classes either, where the genuine RS models change hands for the sort of money that might get you into a classic Porsche or Lotus, what chance does it have in a territory where it was only ever a forgettable 80s FWD encono-box?
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Because I’m hoping for RS2000 and Cosworth variant of this mythical future Escort. These were never sold in the US, sadly. The “visual reference” is to back up my hope that if Ford does bring back the Escort name, it’s more like your Escort and less like the FWD crapcan we had (and you ended up with).
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..but we all have the awesome new Focus RS, surely the spiritual succsesor tot the big winged 4WD Escort Cosworth of the 90s? (it was really a sierra cosworth in an escort lookalike shell ,there were FWD Escort RSs too but that’s another story, they even toyed with a MK5 RWD RS2000 variant using a Cosworth shell and NA 150bhp 2 litre which the now defunct but awesome CCC magazine tested favorably, but it never saw production as it would have been too expensive). OK, the Focus, it’s not RWD, I’m just pointing out the Escort was at it heart an average bread and butter car for Mr. Average with some go-faster versions and there and the Focus is actually the continuation of that unbroken bloodline. To European eyes, the Focus IS the new Escort, in all but name, it hard to see where an Escort would fit in to a current ford line up, except perhaps as a move upmarket, not as a cheap saloon, but a retro FR-S/Nissan IDX sort of sub mustang coupe, but that idea was knocked around on here previous. Nice, but what platform would you stick it on, and does it make sense when the ecoboost ‘stang exists? It sort of makes sense that a modern escort RS successor should be 4WD too because all the modern WRC cars are 4WD, but they’re also usually a class down nowadays (like the VW Polo) and 1600cc, so really they should be making a 4WD Fiesta RS too, but that’s another story.
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Don’t forget a Mexico (I like lights).
http://www.rsownersclubaust.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Escort-Mexico-Finished-11.jpg-
I heard you like lights…
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The Edge was offered as an SEL model…
EdgeSEL. So there…
Saroukh el-Jamahiriya may never live as a car name again either.
Not that it was a bad car, but it was a TERRIBLE name, and considering they are still getting grief over it, I’m sure we’ll never see this name return.
s.hswstatic.com/gif/1987-1988-1989-1990-1991-1992-1993-ford-mustang-3.jpg
I am sad to say this, but Pontiac won’t return even as a sub-brand for performance models as occasionally hinted at by GM/Chevy. It’s an absolute kick in the teeth to me.
As muchh as it pains me to say. Pontiac will never return, even as a sub-brand for performance models inside of GM/Chevy as occasionally hinted at. It’s a kick in the teeth to a brand that built some iconic cars and changed entire categories of vehicles.
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Apparently deleting a comment, doesn’t really delete it, just no longer attributes it to you…
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Along the same lines, I think it’s safe to say we can add Oldsmobile, LaSalle, Oakland, Plymouth, Mercury and any other now defunct name plate. So sad, I’d love put a new DeSoto in the garage.
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I could see LaSalle as a Cadillac trim line.
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Given that Chrysler dusted off the Aspen badge anything is possible, but generally being a punchline for a joke makes branding go away. So Ford Aspire then.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/eb/Ford-Aspire.jpg
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A couple of friends and I used to call it the Ass Pyre. Not because we knew anything about it, but because we were, at heart, teenage boys.
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That name was such a failure, nevermind that the car was crap.
It aspires to be a car, but is not.
You aspire toward air conditioning, but the compressor seized, so instead you perspire.
You aspire to be a driver, but you’re taking the bus. Again.
You aspire to be a lawyer, but tonight you’re cashier at the Stop ‘n Rob during the red-eye rob-me shift.
You aspire to masters degree, but you’re taking remedial math at your community college again this semester.
Like you, this car never succeeds. It merely aspires.-
Doesn’t aspiring imply some actual effort? I’ve had the misfortune to drive a couple of these. No evidence of effort on the part of the manufacturer apparent. “Ford Flaccid” would have been more accurate.
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I can never read that name without getting at least a portion of this ad in my head.-
Man, I thought I was the only one.
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Saw this on mobile, didn’t even need to click expand to know what you were talking about.
Best 80s kid toy ad ever.-
I actually got an earlier version of that for Christmas sometime around ’74 or ’75.
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Oh, maybe Disqus will trip them up. Although I’m sure those types have accounts on every form of message board a site might possibly use. Good effort getting it in on the first day though.
I bet they learned their lesson the second time around
http://free-extras.com/pics/v/vw_rabbit-7453.jpg
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Made for some fun ads though.-
Reminds me a bit of the old Isuzu Gemini spots https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjtCstnIVAo
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Fairly confident there will never be another Dictator.
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I love turbine wheels on old rods.
Which dates me, I know.-
Some places, they just belong.
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I’m surprised not to hate that but it really works with the grille.
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Not only is there baggage with the brand name, there isn’t even any longer a Yugoslavia from which to derive its name.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/09/Red_Yugo_GV_in_Junction_Triangle,_Toronto,_Canada_2.jpg
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Nobody cares any longer about where YuGo. Now it’s all about where iGo.
http://www.igo.com/images/banners/iGOHomeBanneriPhone5.jpg -
You know the car is bad when NATO “accidentally” carpet-bombs your factory.
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On a separate note, that picture was taken about 500m from my wife’s last apartment before we moved in together. Sadly, I don’t feel like I’ve ever seen that specific Yugo, although I want to say a friend who still lives around that neighbourhood has.
http://www.pickuptrucks.com/IMAGES/2002/lincoln/blackwood/first_drive/rearshot.jpg
Blackwood.
I was almost afraid to goggle search the term at work.
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I saw one the other day, at a body shop, having the rear bumper replaced.
I CAN UPVOTE GOOD COMMENTS AGAIN!
http://tanshanomi.com/temp/animated/happy-dance-sidewalk-girl.gif
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And people can tell who it was! That’s cool. No more anonymous Mr. Downvoter.
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I think downvotes stay anon in Disqus (at least, they’re not visible to others – maybe to the downvoted commenter?) but Mr. Downvoter does have to be logged in.
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Want to downvote this comment for me so we can all see what happens?
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Done. In the name of science, of course! 🙂
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I can’t see anything different. I guess it just comes off of one’s total.
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That’s crap. Mr. Downvoter shouldn’t be able to live in the shadows.
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As you wish.
Can you see anything more than the downvote chevron in red? -
I don’t even see that, actually. It’s still grey.
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Maybe clearing your cache/hard refresh?
Looking through my Disqus history, I can see a few of my comments with red downvotes, but no voter attribution.
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Volare. Uh-oh.
Corvair
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Came here to say that, leaving satisfied.
I’m surprised Maserati isn’t more insistent that its new V6s and V8s are referred to as “twin-turbo” rather than…well, you know…
<http://www.registryofmaserati.com/_images/maserati/bit_s2.jpg
Oh. Hey. Hey guys. Porsche is never gonna bring back this number. Or any of those numbers from the ’80s that no one but club racers and Porschephiles care about, like 944 and 928.
http://motorcardigest.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Porsche-914-4.jpg
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A modern reinterpretation of the 914 and 914/6 would be pretty intriguing, methinks.
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Isn’t that what the Boxster/Cayman is? If a new 914 were more like the original 914 than the Boxster, how modern could you consider the reinterpretation?
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Only if you admit the similarities of the engines being absolute crap, at least in the earlier Boxster.
Reinterpretation is whatever. We’re talking revived names here. -
In spirit, possibly. Though the styling of the Boxster/Cayman make them more “911 Lite” than that 914 was.
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Gremlin. Anything alphanumeric is more appealing than this.
http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2011/11/07/18/58/1972_amc_gremlin-pic-4072299663009120794.jpeg
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Well, the brand is long dead, so…
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A lesson to anyone with such a ghastly idea.
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This would make an interesting Hooniverse Asks or Rusty’s design sketchpad: “What current car would you like to lop the trunk off of to create a new model?”
Rumour has it that this is the reason why Reliant never again used the Bond name.
Aztek. Dead as Generalissimo Franco. Sadly, names like DeVille, Continental, and Legend seem destined never to return as alphanumeric soup continues to ruin the vehicular landscape.
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