Welcome to the final day of what has been an unprecedentedly successful US Van Week, here at The Carchive.

Yesterday we found ourselves in a bizarre time vortex when I shared a 1985 brochure for the 1983 Ford Club Wagon. Maybe Ford were so proud of the ’83 model they re-released the brochure in ’85. Or maybe I just cocked the title up.

Moving on, we continue our Rampage through the ’80s Van market with a look at the 1990 Dodge Ram Van (whose brochure was published September ’89)

Before I start out I should stress that I know that we’d be comparing apples and oranges, showers and fountains, food and McDonalds by directly comparing this brochure with that of the GM Rally and Ford Club Wagon. Not least because this is the only one that mentions the word “VAN” in the title.

So it’s unsurprising that, compared with GM’s grandoise claims about excelsior suitability for task or even the more realistic versatility boasts of Ford, Dodge took a far more workaday approach with their opening statement:

“Business or pleasure. Work or recreation. The rugged Dodge Ram van handles it easily”

The bulk of the text goes on to describe all the obvious points of a range of vans; various wheelbases and lengths, payload and cargo capacities. All good, solid van stuff.

1990 had brought with it a standard anti-lock brake system (for the rear wheels only) and an automatic ‘box with an overdrive fourth.

“An efficient 3.9 litre EFI V-6 engine that delivers 125 hp at 4000 rpm is standard on B150 models. There’s also an optional 5.2 litre EFI V-8 engine that delivers 170hp at 4,000 rpm. And for even more powerful performance, Dodge offers an optional 5.9 litre EFI V-8, on B250 and B350 models, that develops 190hp at 4,000 rpm.

It’s probably a sign of the late ’80s that Dodge should have been so much more in-depth with their specification claims than we’ve seen in the other brochures of US Van Week.

The 1990 MY Ram Van evidently wasn’t offered with a Diesel engine, which is interesting when we consider how vocally the Ford Club Wagon brochure had announced their new Diesel option in 1983. Transmissions in ’90 were wide-ranging, a three-speed auto, that NEW four-speed overdrive auto and a five-speed manual (hooray) gearbox being available for the B150 and B250 models. The 4-speed was mandatory on the heavier B350.

Standard equipment was understandably limited, but the option list went from here to the moon and back. And to make life easier:

“Money-saving Advantage Pac Discount Packages are also available”

Pac? Man, what an annoying name. Each “pac” included a certain quantity of stuf. Deluxe two-speed windscreen wipers (now that IS deluxe), dual exterior mirrors, a 35 gallon fuel tank and a radio speaker upgrade made up the first “Pac”. Pac IV (which is a ludicrous designation) brought you air-conditioning, bumper guards and nerf strips.

Confused as to just what the heck the latter were, I visited the Wookieepedia on the StarWars Wiki, to have it explained to me that “Nerf strips were a type of meat made from nerf. They were served in diners across the galaxy, including Coruscant.”

Ram was all about the Pacs. And Packages, too.  A school bus package could be had, featuring School Bus Yellow paint and possibly a built in scent of bleach and vomit as standard equipment.

 

“Shown here are just two of the many possible Dodge Van conversions. Although not available as factory installations, these conversions can be arranged by your Dodge Truck dealer through a local body specialist”

One day I’ll go into Conversion Vans in a little more depth, I know there’s a brochure swimming around in The Carchive somewhere, it’s sure to bob up to the surface at some point in time. I will state now that I think Conversion Vans Are Cool.

I see them around over here from time to time, usually either absolutely on their last legs, rattling around, paint faded, razor-sharp talons of rust jutting out and with five out of eight cylinders still beating, or absolutely pristine, being lovingly mollycoddled by some devotee of the American Dream, four-thousand miles from home.

I just like ’em.

It’s sad that the Ram Van was no more after 2003; the generation after this one would be its last, with the Mercedes-based Dodge Sprinter being appointed as its replacement. And that’s just not quite the same.

(Disclaimer: All images are of original manufacturer publicity material, photographed by me. The lede image caught too much sun and I hope the others are all the right way up, my phone camera is doing funny things again. Copyright remains property of Chrysler Group LLC)