Reports From The Field: The Detroit Auto Show 2010

Hi Hooniverse, I’m Andy. I’ve done some motor blogging, pushed a weird little green car across the country 8 times this summer to the tune of 45k miles, and I’ve started a terrible racing series that my friends and I enjoy quite a lot. But put all that aside, because today we’ve got a show! A car show! International, even! I’ll be reporting live from the show today and tomorrow – no lame shit will make it to these pages. I promise. To start? I’ll show you how Chinese automaker CT&T has come out swinging with what we love most.

Now, the Chinese auto companies aren’t exactly considered the best. Maybe a few steps below that. Actually, Chinese auto industry might be closer friends with “worst” rather than “best.” Chinese cars and “best” don’t hang out much – and by that I mean ever. Never ever. “Best” actually blocked the Chinese automakers on Facebook, but that doesn’t stop the Chinese automakers from ringing “best” in the middle of the night just to hear “best” breathe. But still, they try.

This year, their tactics are quite different. They’ve forgone the expensive and confusing process of actually improving the cars and simply stuck white girls dressed in school girl uniforms, vinyl suits, sexy deliverywoman wear and the like out there to strut their electric hardware. We consider it a huge leap forward in Chinese automaker product planning and fully condone their current plan for outward sustainability.

Aside from the saucy sirens of the show, there’s plenty of other exciting things to see! Word on the street is lots of automakers have shiny, happy new crossovers to show off – and that’s exactly what you won’t see here. There’s plenty of buff blogs ready to tut tut about the longest press releases in history. So, if it’s vanilla waferware you’re after, hit the Google. But if you’re interested in seeing the spaces in between, the non-news and the beskirted oddities that our fair city of Detroit has to offer – and I know you are – then tune your internets right here for the next 48 hours.

Oh, and P.S.: We didn’t think this auto show thing was hard enough with all of its tiny sandwiches and air conditioned press rooms, so we’re taking it a step further. Thunderdome Mode, if you will. I’ll be covering the entire show with one Android G1 smartphone. Photos, text editing, all of it. Some would call this foolish; the rumor is I dropped my beautiful dSLR camera on the way into the show, breaking it precisely into a million expensive pieces; but that’s just hearsay and noise. Yep. See you on the floor. -AD