It could be: I’d try fixing it with JB Weld. Or maybe: That Neon’s $800, it’s not like you could lose money on buying it. Or, the ever popular: Don’t worry, empty always means you still have at least two gallons left.
Car advice, some of it’s good, a lot of it’s bad. The old saying goes opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one, and so it seems, everyone is willing to share theirs, no matter how ill-informed they are. Over the course of your life, what’s the worst automotive counsel that you’ve ever received?
Buying a car enters you into a relation with that machine, and sometimes that relationship isn’t a healthy one. And typically, you made that leap, not based on your own judgement, but the recommendation of another. Sure, it seems all plausible when they say, how hard is it to slap on a little bondo? or you know, their poor reputation is like totally unfounded, I once knew a guy that drove his across the country with no problem what so ever. Of course what he doesn’t mention is that the ‘the country’ was Luxembourg.
There’s also the driving advice given to you – whether route or time. Inevitably your experience does not fall within that of the advisor. And while the the acronym YMMV should apply to all such directives, some recommendations are just plain bad.
And what about auto maintenance? Have you ever had someone tell you that you don’t need to change you oil more often than every 10,000 miles if you’d just keep it under 3,000 rpm? Yeah, me neither, but it proves the point that some people have really weird ideas about how to keep their cars on the road.
So, whether driving or buying, or what road to take or how to treat your car, what’s the worst car advice anyone has ever given you?
Image sources: [Savvy-Cafe, monsterrebellion.com]
Hooniverse Asks- What's the Worst Piece of Car Advice You've Ever Received?
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72 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- What's the Worst Piece of Car Advice You've Ever Received?”
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"Punch IT!" – Both best and worst driving advice ever.
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I thought the saying was, opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one, and everyone else's stinks.
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I just figured Mr. Robber had spent some time in prison where the saying is, "Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one, everyone is willing to share theirs."
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"Don't ever get a car loan. It's a whole lot more economical to pay cash for an old car and put your money into maintaining it."
Yea, as long as you have tools, a garage to work on it in, and a boss that doesn't require you to actually show up at the same time every day.-
My gut reaction was to contradict this, but upon further consideration you're right in most cases.
The whole "cheap car + tools" thing really only works if you have some kind of reliable backup. Be it your own 2nd car, a spouse/girlfriend/bike/bus pass, then you're mostly good.
I love working on cheap cars, but that's only because I'm rarely scrambling to get it on the road so I can get to work on Monday.-
Sadly, I think he's right. Sometimes having multiple clunkers just means having multiple clunkers to repair. If your fleet is large enough, it can be damn near a full time job keeping them on the road.
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There are 5 cars and a classic Jeep trailer in my driveway…and my brother borrowed the moped. I know this all too well.
I think the root of the problem is that when most of us were at that age of trying to decide between a payment on a sensible used car or buying something for the cost of the down payment, we were still a bit short on automotive knowledge/skills.
I know now how I could've avoided most of the problems I dealt with as a 19-22 year old. Of course…I only know that because of the problems I dealt with as a 19-22 year old.
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I've never missed a day of work due to driving an old car .. I think you gambled with that van – it was barely daily driver material when new. Daily driving used cars doesn't mean buying a clapped out 1954 Borgward Isabella – it means driving a 10 year old Camry .. or Lexus, or WRX, or Accord, or just about anything modern that was reliable when new.
I've spent a total of about $5000 on my car including purchase price over the last three years, and could probably sell it for more than half that tomorrow. I've never had a single stranding despite 15 years of driving older cars, and during most of that time I had no garage and limited tools.
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"Dude, a BMW 633 would make an awesome LeMons car!" – My brain to my wallet.
"It's cool babe, I work with this guy…he wouldn't screw us" – Myself to my then girlfriend, now wife, about buying a 1999.5 Audi A4 1.8t.
"You can choose to put the Z back on the road or I will give you the down payment on the Ford Ranger as a graduation present" – My father to me a year before college ended. I picked the Ranger and I continue to miss my Z. -
* We can totally make it through that sand.
* Don't worry, there are never any cops on this road.
* You should put some 24s on it. -
When heard on the local trail/mudhole "you go first…" I found out how great of an anchor the factory skid plate really is.
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'Your wife and kids would love to go 4 wheeling with us' HAHAHAHA…That was what I told a buddy right before he smashed his windshield and mangled the A pillar on his daily driver Cherokee – with his very pissed off wife and 3 terrified kids riding along.
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"This CB550F would be an awesome project!" Me, to myself.
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I have said that exact same sentence to myself twice. I'm a slow learner.
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I don't know where to begin. I know I have to GIVE a lot of advice every day. I'm sure some customers/people/friends thought I was smoking crack when I gave it.
A majority of the times I know I am right and proven right. A minority of times I know I am right and then proven wrong. -
My parents: "We'd rather you bought your first car from a dealer, it'll give you a little piece of mind."
Of course, said dealer bought Intrepid grenaded the tranny after 20k kms and ate through tie rods like potato chips. The water pump seized up and snapped the timing belt also, but that was probably my fault. Although, if I'd followed their original advice and just taken their old Sundance, I probably would've actually had reliable transportation. I would've also had a 3-spd automatic, and a Plymouth Sundance (not exciting, even in Indy Red).
Then again, I've made my fair share of bad judgement calls.-
Let me guess, your Dad's an engineer isn't he?
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Yes, very, very yes.
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“Sure it’ll fit! Just tap right there with a hammer, all it needs is a little nudge.”
This statement is usually followed by an “Oh, shit…” -
"My Aunt has a nice Alfa Spider she wants to sell. You should check it out."
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"Oh just use some belt dressing on that"- That was from a Ford "Tech". I soon understood why he was an unemployed Ford "Tech".
Needless to say I never took unsolicited advice ever again.-
belt dressing is a band aid on a gunshot wound, IMO of course….
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Yea this guy ended up putting a whole box of band-aids on a sucking chest wound. He dumped a whole can of belt dressing on my truck's serpentine belt. Taking the advice/letting him do it cost me that can of aerosol snot, a can of brake cleaner and 2 serpentine belts.
As it turned out the squeak was the power steering pulley being out of alignment, the subject of a VERY well known TSB to Ford "techs".-
ugh….Trying to impress with a "cheap fix" when you would have been impressed with the "correct fix". I hate it when that happens.
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Not to mention it takes like 15 minutes and not a lot of money to change a belt.
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My college buddy to a bunch of us: "We should tackle Jeep trails in my Datsun B210." It resulted in us getting stuck on a regular basis, but I wouldn't trade that fun for anything.
I think I get the worst piece of advice every time I go to the quick lube. Change my oil every 3000 miles? Why? If I use 5w30 semisynthetic Ford says I can wait 5000 miles. I use full synthetic and regularly push it to 6000 miles. People who listen to the sticker are paying too much.-
The "3000 miles" myth is one of the most widely debunked myth in the automotive word, which is why it's puzzling that it's the most widely believed. It hasn't been a factory-recommended interval for decades, even in high-maintenance exotics. Hell, according to the factory sticker in my 20-year-old Honda engine compartment I can go 7000 miles on regular old dino oil before it's time to crack open another gallon of Castrol.
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Yep, my Volvo says I can go five thousand or six months if I drive normally, or five thousand or three months (yes, I typed that correctly) if I beat 'er like a rented Sebring. I did it myself just shy of 4,000 last time and it looked like it was almost ready, so I'm gonna keep planning for 4-5k changes.
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It depends on the vehicle. In theory my Dakota has a potential for a 6,000 mile oil change schedule, but the book itself claims that most vehicles are driven in conditions that require the severe schedule with 3,000 mile oil changes. (The disqualifiers include temperatures below freezing or above 90 F, stop-and-go traffic, trips less than 10 miles, dusty conditions or off-roading.)
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"Chrysler products have always been good to me, son."
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My father-in-law said the same thing to me. You and I are related by marriage or there are two people in the world who feel that way. I'd say the former is more likely.
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My own father told me that…..right before I bought the Plymouth Breeze (later to be known as "The ill wind"). I think his advice constitutes child abuse, don't you?
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To be fair, I think there was some magical 3 months in the mid 90s where that was almost true.
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"The body (on this Pontiac Astre) is in way better shape than your Olds (69 Cutlass) and it uses less gas too!"
But loses more oil than BP in the Gulf of Mexico! -
"rebuilding just the top end should give you a few more years out of it"
FML. should have just acquired a motor swap in.-
You never know. I just went the latter route and am consuming a quart of oil every 200 miles.
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Not to buy that '55 F100 with a 292, straight and rust free but with a disassembled rear end from a kid who was in over his head for $800. His reasoning? A little smoke after sitting for 8 months..
"If you got that to run on all 8 cylinders you wouldn't be able to see the damn thing."
Thanks dad. Yeah, that Gremlin was a hit with the ladies.-
Personally, I find the smoking on start up after a long hiatus to be immensely rewarding. It tells me I've done something right.
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Transmission fluid for a Borg-Warner T-5. Easy. Just use 50w gear oil.
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After bringing the new WRX to work:
"You should have bought a Thunderbird."
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NOOOOOO
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I'm a Ford fanboi and even I disagree with that statement.
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I'm even a Thunderbird fanboi (at least the MN12 variant) and I'd rather have the WRX.
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In late '83: "Why do you want to buy a Honda CRX? They're cheap, shitty, and tinny. If you want something sporty, buy American and get a Fiero!"
Fortunately, I didn't take the advice. -
A former boss of mine recommended Scotchbrite pads for cleaning splattered bugs off of windshields. Without thinking it through I soaped up the windshield on my new Envoy and started scrubbing away. It wasn't until I rinsed it off that I discovered that the grit in the Scotchbrite pads was hard enough to scratch the window. I blame myself for not trying it in a small area first, but I still wanted to walk in to work and kick him between the legs.
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“I want to sell you my old Audi 5000 wagon, come out and pick it up.”
“It seems the steering rack leaks, but a junkyard Audi rack should be just fine.”
“Shouldn’t take us more than an afternoon to swap it out.”
“That new intermittent electrical shutdown probably has nothing to do with when we swapped out the steering rack in that Audi.”
–all by my brother, and I fell for each of them in order.
Other fraternal gems I’ve dodged:
“You should buy this rusted-out Chrysler Newport.”
“You should buy this rusted-out Merkur Scorpio off of me.”
“You should buy this sketchy-looking Puch motorcycle.”
“You should buy this Fiat X1/9. It’ll be easy to keep it running.”
“It will be cheap and easy for us to rebuild this derelict Triumph Spitfire together.”
“Let’s get a beater beak-nose skylark with an iron duke in it just for fun.”
“I bet it wouldn’t be so hard maintaining a Pantera.”-
Dude…Pantera…go for it.
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Crap, I'd have fallen for most of those, just to own the car. X1/9, Spitfire and Pantera would all find a home in my driveway.
Of course, they would be a fun/project car and not my daily driver. -
How often do you go to visit your brother in the Institution?
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"The dana 30 and 35 axles in your Wrangler will certainly explode as soon as you go offroad"
"You should get a 4Runner with the 22re, they're the most reliable engine in the world! Good for 250k miles!"
…thanks a lot, pirate4x4.com
Yeah, maybe something might've broken some day on my Wrangler, but you can buy a lot of replacement parts before swapping in 3/4 ton running gear.
The 4Runner that I sold my Wrangler with 20k miles on a new engine to buy turned out to be the biggest basket case money-pit ever, culminating in it getting stolen 3 weeks after I paid a (borrowed) couple grand to get the whole top-end rebuilt. Owning that truck was simultaneously the worst and most important learning experience I ever had.-
I know a lot of guys wheel REALLY hard, but for a lot of us normal running gear is just fine. If it blows up I can get one someone swapped out for bigger more awesome parts for cheap.
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When my wife got laid off in 2002 and lost the company car, I reluctantly handed her the keys to my brand new Ram 4×4 – the first and last new vehicle I'll ever buy. After all, it was Spring and I had the Alfa. Several hundred dollars in Alfa parts and a wiring harness fire later, I broke down and got a lightly used Jeep Cherokee. Moral of the story – some cars are meant to be DD, many are not.
Ironically, after 15 years of gradual parts replacement, the Alfa is essentially a new car, at least where it matters. I wouldn't hesitate to drive it across country.
Did you keep the van? That thing is SWEET.-
Of course not. I could cry a river over all the sweet vehicles I've stupidly gotten rid of.
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"You can climb that hill if you put it in compound low and two of us stand on the rear bumper." This is from the worst night of off-roading in my life, driving a '64 International Travelall 2WD with over 300k miles on it. We eventually DID climb the hill, but I had to throw away my pants and shorts afterwards.
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"What do you want that silly little KLR650 for? Get a Hog!"
"You should drive more carefully, don't you know I have a back problem?" — to me, from a passenger of a car that had just rear-ended me because I chose not to run a red light. The car was a body shop's loaner. -
"Come on, Honey, that low-mileage, one-owner, R-package Miata that's underpriced by two grand will still be there tomorrow. Now get dressed so we can make it to my cousin's engagement party!"
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Ow. That physically hurts.
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Reminds me of my wife telling me about the early 90's miata parked outside the local wrecking yard, with a $475 tag on the window, only to find when I went to take a look (to see how much of it was actually there) the car was already gone. I asked her to in the future, when she sees any miata for less than $1000 to let me know…
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slam on the gas.. that will get rid of that tailgater..
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That's a lot safer than slamming on the brakes.
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"Ran when parked"
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"Kids are like 1000 points"
Wait, no, that's good advice. Never mind. -
"While you're at it you should use some of this engine flush." This of course led to my first time witnessing a rod knock.
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"Why don't you let me find you a good, dependable, used car. That '56 Cadillac is ugly, leaks oil, and now you have to replace the generator." That was my Mom after I'd spent the weekend visiting her back home in Florida from where I was stationed in Georgia. She hated the Caddy, even though it ran up and down I-95 from Ft. Stewart to the Daytona area and back several times without a hitch. Not bad for a 350 dollar beater. Well, I bought the '74 Bug that she found for me, and not only did I have payments to cover, but the nightmare of a malfunctioning Bosch electronic fuel injection. That car SUCKED. If I knew then what I know now, I would have put dual Webers and headers on it and had done with it. The little Schiesskubel sent a rod through the block while a buddy was "taking care of it" for me while I was on leave. I have nothing against VW's hell, I like them, but that car drove me nuts. However, it did run for seven miles on a half gallon of gin one dark night, but that's another story.
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Not so much advice, but still interesting: My step son was seeing a girl with a truck that had two gas tanks. She asked him to help her get it winterized. When he went to change the oil, she pointed to the auxiliary tank and said that that is where the oil goes. He laughed, thinking she was joking.
She said that it was were she always added the oil. "How many times" he asked. "I don't know, all the time" was the reply. When he tried to explain where the oil filler was, and showed her the switch to change fuel tanks, she told him he didn't know shit about cars and started screaming at him. He was kind enough to check the oil and top it off and tape the fuel switch off so she wouldn't accidentally start burning pure penzoil before dumping her.-
Y'know, I think I honestly would've taped the switch over to Good Old 10w30 before I left her…
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"The dana 30 and 35 axles in your Wrangler will certainly explode as soon as you go offroad"
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"If you really want that Land Rover Freelander, go ahead and get it!"
Me, to my parents.-
Oh god, I had a Freelander V6… It was fun to drive and half-way decent in the dirt… but a complete POS when it came to reliability and durability. I got rid of mine at ~103,000 miles, just after my extended warranty ran out… I was on engine #3 and transmission #5…
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“Ya just need to put a tree-fity Chevrolet in that thing.”
Then fart, and grumble something incoherent about “tree spiders.”
Also, the car in question was a 1970 Firebird I had just swapped a Pontiac 455 into to replace the Pontiac 350 that ate itself. -
"Looks like somebody jerry rigged this thing by adding an extra spring to make up for a bad clutch pedal, you should just take it out" My mechanic's EX-assistant pointing to a factory installed clutch pedal return spring that 600 miles later, the absence of caused my clutch pushrod to fall out of the clutch fork while driving.
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You’ve got the position across much better than I at any time could, many thanks!
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