By Robert Emslie
Okay, first off I would like to apologize for the lede image. It was the oh what a feeling that got me to giggling, and then there was no turning back. Despite its inappropriate nature, it does provide a fine example of a product category in which no auto maker ought to ever consider dabbling.
Of course, that kind of logic hasn’t stopped some car makers from affixing their hallowed brand names to any number of weird non-automotive products. And today we want you to bring us the weirdest of those. I once worked at a place with a Jeep boom box – one that looked like an old WWII radio – only in totally incongruous fly yellow plastic. I’ve also seen BMW bicycles, Porsche pens, and Lamborghini laptops. That’s the kind of stuff we’re looking for.
What have you seen? Perhaps a Subaru spatula? Maybe a Chevy Beretta that requires a different kind of license to use? What is the weirdest Automotive branded product you’ve ever seen?
Image source:[MUM]
Jeff Glucker
I can't imagine what this cologne smells like.
<img src="http://www.stangbangers.com/MustangCologne.jpg"width="500"/>
/I can't stop laughing at the lead image. It will Always make me laugh.
<img src="http://www.perfumeandcolognemall.com/images/products/pcm-images-e-h/hummer-riviera-m.jpg">
Mustang cologne has got to be better than this.
As a guy that sold Hummers, i actually have smelled this. (we were given it by the brand at an event)
Not as bad as you would think. For a cheap cologne, you could do a lot worse. That being said. i know of no one that ever purchased it.
When I'm done with my Mustang I smell of grease, gear oil and gasoline.
If I can find a gal who likes that- I'll marry her.*
*Terms and Conditions May Apply
Those girls are very rare, but they're out there.
Jay, I love the smell of gear oil! The pink grease (when fresh) is not too bad either. Gasoline used to smell better, maybe it's all the ethanol now-a-days. Anyway, I'm already married, sorry. But she doesn't like the smell of the padded shirt I wear when I work on the cars, precisely because of the gear oil. It's kind of strange to me how that can be with smells, it smells better than flowers to me, and way better than those things she plugs into the outlets around the house. Anyway, I've taken to wearing that shirt most days at work as an out layer when I am around computers and not people to help keep warm (they cool racks). Man I'm rambling, i might have had point, but lost it somewhere along the way, sorry.
I keep trying to tell my wife just how great I smell after a long day under the car, but she has yet to agree with me. You should have seen the look on her face when I cracked open a differential around her for the first time a few days ago. If only I had a camera…
That can smell pretty bad actually, the gear oil needs to be just the right amount of ripe really.
I found her!!!
Watch it, maybe NSFW!!!
<img src="http://i40.servimg.com/u/f40/16/40/17/67/sexy-m11.jpg" width=300>
Right click- save as…
Don't judge.
Been there, done that!
How about some Passion?
<img src="http://www.unlimitedperfumes.com/images/ferrari-passion.jpg"width="500"/>
It actually smells really good. It's a woody tobacco fragrance with a touch of citrus. Its punch is way above its price point.
I love a touch of citrus and unsmoked tobacco is very nice.
O B just more imaginative then.
Perhaps it will help you get poonstang?
"Do you own a Ferrari?"
"No, but I bought my wife one."
<img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j129/hoopd87/ferrari-bikini-rojo-4_zps5c196003.jpg" width=500/">
Don't matter… rode a Ferrari.
Here's another gem:
<img src="http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j129/hoopd87/bmws-promotional-motor-oil-cologne_100363796_m_zpsaba16c60.jpg" width=500>
I wonder if it smells brown to people with synesthesia.
I laughed so hard i choked after reading the tag on the left.
I always liked the Slick packaging used for the Omega Schumacher Speedy.
<img src="http://www.watchuwant.com/sites/default/files/omegashumacher9.jpg" width=500>
<img src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51LtoPbdfFL._SL500_AA300_.jpg">
/doing it wrong
I think you're doing it right … Lincoln Logs enjoy all the fresh, contemporary styling of the automotive brand.
<img src="http://cdn.ientry.com/sites/webpronews/pictures/danielday_320x245.jpg">
This Corvette tie in really sucks.
<img src="http://www.automaticwasher.info/TD/VLJPEG/MODERN/2010/1-7-2010-05-22-1–lux1521.jpg">
This Honda tie in really blows.
<img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8227/8452674489_c7b76201be.jpg" width="246" height="205" alt="hondaleaf">
It's more powerful than Hondas used to be: [youtube tFEMpOCASuA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFEMpOCASuA youtube]
Honda E40: a 40 Watt (note: not kilowatt) generator…
This one may get the win. Most of the other stuff is either stuff made by other branches of a company that sells more than cars (see the Honda Blower or the Hyundai ship), or is obviously some sort of advertising attempt (see the Ferrari bikini- they know what they're doing- old farts with money on the beach, oogling girls, see a girl with a Ferrari bikini and think, "If I drive a Ferrari she'll want to get in it"), but this, this is just plain weird.
This must have been built during the Pony/Excel years:
<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/HYUNDAI_FORTUNE.JPG" width="500" />
We have a winner here. A better all-round 'ocean liner' than the Titanic.
To continue on the Hummer theme, i present this:
<img src="http://hummer-bike.com/bikes/hummer-bike.jpg" width=550>
Shit design, shit concept.
The components were that of a bike costing half the price. The frame, being foldable, was as rigid as a broken arm wearing a splint of balsa wood. The only thing stopping the frame from folding in on itself was a 9mm Quick Release skewer from a front wheel. (Skewers bend or break fairly regularly for front wheels if they are not thicker)
To top it off Hummer had chosen these bikes because they could fold and fit in the back of the H2. That was with the outside tire mount and no third seat. A package that was quite rare on lots.
So you had a flimsy folding bike that still couldn't fit in the car it needed to, but still was required to have displays, or at least posters, in the showroom.
To boot, they launch a mountain bike team that has to ride these things in competition. Mind you, these bikes were about 35 pounds each. So they were about 12-15 pounds heavier than the actually competitive teams.
But there this damn hunk of crap was in every Hummer brochure, or accessory guide. Usually with a guy pulling it out of the trunk of his H2 that had the outside tire mount swung wide and no third row seat.
Just more evidence of the "Off-road Lifestylers"
<img src="http://cdn2.bigcommerce.com/server5300/cke7vub6/products/30635/images/34279/Jeep_Go_Cart__43567.1353377294.1280.1280.jpg">
That however is cool!
Is that the new Patriot?
No, but it possesses greater off-road prowess.
That would be awesome if I was 5.
This, however, I never understood:
<img src="http://images.babyage.com/icons/localhost/products/medium/la_jl035_xsajl035_xsa_side.jpg" width=500>
My brother has one.
Questionable branding aside (made by Graco or someone), it's actually a rather good stroller.
I'll raise you a Berg Ferrari FXX
<img src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.autoblog.com/media/2008/02/ferrari_fxx_pedalcar.jpg">
My mother-in-law's neighbor gave us this bike for our oldest son. Please note the absurd triple-tube forks.
I am convinced, too, that the down tube is not a tube at all, but rather a solid steel bar.
<img src="http://images1.americanlisted.com/nlarge/hummer_bike_like_new_150_troy_ny_8204010.jpg" width=400>
For the record, these were on the Hummers because Montague, the builder, had a DARPA contract to develop a folding electric bike for marine paratroopers. It's heavy because it's supposed to have an electric motor propelling it.
Found while doing my hoon work for the day.
Automotively branded by proximity and not quite weird but damn awesome:
http://www.thekingofcool.com/
If weird also means unusual, Porsche Tractor.
<img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8528/8452632667_d060e38655.jpg" width="275" height="183" alt="porschetractor">
I'll see your Porsche and raise you a Lambo.
<img src=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OORyagu8ETY/TULpFUxUeFI/AAAAAAAADrs/AApqcSWB1jA/s1600/504777290_13b99dc54d.jpg">
See your Lambo and raise you a Ferrari.
<img src="http://www.lifeinabruzzo.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/ferrari-tractor.jpg">
Not the same company, though. Apparently, Ferrari isn't that unusual a name in Italy.
Ferrari = Smith (same meaning, same origin in metalworking)
The BMW StreetCarver.
<img src="http://www.kellyscars.net/streetcarver/bmw.jpg">
Just posting in case someone wants to annoy a female engineer they know. Thanks, IH!
<img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5308/5640478873_5dc1e1d9b5.jpg">
That's a great one! There was also Kelvinator and Sears sold cars in the past too.
And GM owned Frigidaire. There's a big "PRODUCT OF GENERAL MOTORS" badge on the stove in my brother's basement.
SDears has had at least two ventures into the automotive realm.
In the early 1900's, Sears sold a wagon-wheeled cabriolet for a few short years. Didn't really catch on.
Then in 1951, Sears entered into talks with Kaiser-Frazer and was given a version of the Henry J (of all things!), branded as an Allstate (their in-house automotive brand for oil and tires and the like, at the time). This would be akin to Canadian Tire selling a car and branding it a "Motomaster".
I have an International Harvester refrigerator in my basement. Still works great.
Femineered is Engineerd's wife?
Corvette cookies:
<img src="http://htsmall.ecklerscorvette.com/assets/corvette/images/size/600x/sku/44068.jpg"width=500>
Ferdinand Porsche built a few tractor prototypes prewar, using gasoline engines, but after the war only pre-war tractor manufacturers were allowed re-start tractor production. Porsche licensed their diesel engine and fluid transmission coupling to other tractor makers. The Porsche-Diesel tractors weren't built right next to 911's on the same production line or anything like that. 😉
From 2005 until a year or so ago, Kent, which builds mid-level bicycles for a lot of retailers, built officially licensed Cadillac bicycles with the Cadillac crest and script. They seem to be gone now, but there were several with names like Fleetwood and El Dorado. They had a few high-end features but were generally ignored by the actual bicycling world. I can't find a good enough picture for it to be worth the effort to post.
There were Cadillac branded bikes in the '50s and maybe '60s as well. I see an old cruiser or two once in a while with the Cadillac crest on the head tube.
This was the weirdest one I ever saw…
<img src="http://www.atb-distribution.com/images/muller-scie-nrj.jpg" width="650/">
I'm always cutting corners with my Peugeot…
It turns out that Peugeot makes a lot of non-car-related stuff, including salt and pepper mills (I have a set), coffee grinders, and wine accessories. They're actually quite nice.
If you look at this, you discover that Peugeot got their start making handsaws.
Linky fail.
http://www.peugeot-saveurs.com/Histoire/
Absolutely true…
My brother has a Peugeot road bike from the early eighties. Same white/blue/yellow/red paint motif as a 205 rally car FTW.
I also have a set of peugeot salt and pepper mills. the marketing worked for me. I can't lie – I bought them for the name.
Wot?
<img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_-LHtzPrVzDI/SRJGH21Oh3I/AAAAAAAAAoc/AI4feTt0WjQ/S1600-R/ford_Beer.jpg"width="500"/>
Edsel created this subsidiary for his little known brother BillyBob, the black sheep of the Ford family. Billy Bob was sent to Pueblo to "run" this company, where his frequent episodes of public drunkeness, nudity and urination would be less embarassing to the clan.
I may never go to Pueblo again.
I distinctly remember a friend in HS with Goodyear brand boots. The rubber sole was shaped like a tire tread, and the Goodyear logo was molded across the bottom, as well.
I think Wal-Mart sold those.
Back in the day, I owned a pair of sandals with tire tread soles as well.
I'd buy shoes that had actual tire tread on them. Firestone Firehawks? Size 12, please. Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Nokian Hakkapeliitta boots would probably come in handy for quite a few people right now…
Not sent from my Verizon BlackBerry
Or from my Sprint iPhone
Or my AT&T Galaxy
Or my T-Mobile Android
Or my Cingular DynaTAC 8000x
Or even my Bell Mobile Telephone Service
A nice set of Aquatreds would be handy around here.Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
I was at a beauty supply store with my wife, and I saw Ferrari blow dryers. I thought it was a joke – turns out they're real.
Carol Shelby licensed coffee maker. Weird.
<img src="http://helablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/shelby_coffee_maker_2.jpg">
I love stupid, car themed household stuff. I don't own any, because my wife doesn't share my taste and we have an agreement that the house is hers and the garage is mine (fine by me). Anyway, I love stuff like this.
But this is just awful.
'Ring time?
http://www.carpooltables.com/shelby-gt350-pool-ta…
<img src="http://www.carpooltables.com/_uploaded_files/pooltable3image_1.jpg" width=500>
That's actually not horrible. I don't love it, but I don't loathe it either.
The coffeemaker is just, well, sad.
Counting this, I have three Chryslers in the driveway.
<img src="http://img.orbitbid.com/2010/08/02/Scott%20Thompson%208-12%20149.jpg">
Please tell me that one of the three is a sno runner.
I wish.
Chrysler Boats. With Dodge and Plymouth model names, except for the "Mustang."
http://www.allpar.com/old/boats-1969.php
Licensing of premium brand logos for "accessories" is of course big business for Audi, Porsche, BMW, Ferrari, et. al.
And complicated in the case of Porsche given that Ferdinand Alexander founded Porsche Design after the restructuring of Porsche.
I've seen cans of tuna fish with MItsubishi's 3 diamond logo. It's not sold under the Mitsubishi name, but it is one of their subsidiaries.
crapcans, tuna cans … I see the connection.
The three diamonds used to be quite common on consumer electronics.
Mitsubishi was one HUGE company until after World War II (MacAurther and the US didn't like mega-conglomerates). Then it became MANY independent* companies that use the same three diamond logo. http://www.mitsubishi.com/php/users/category_sear…
*These companies are SUPPOSED to be independent, but all the CEOs meet several times a year. http://www.mitsubishi.com/e/group/about.html
/former Mitsubishi Wireless employee
Does Daewoo count as a car brand?
<img src="http://www.appuntidigitali.it/site/wp-content/uploads/daewoo_victory_cpc-61w.jpg">
Daewoo Zemmix game console.
Actually found a better one, the Hyundai Comboy.
<img src="http://www.videogameconsolelibrary.com/images/1980s/83_Nintendo_Famicom/Hyundai_Comboy_small.jpg">
I had Daewoo towels in our bathroom for a long time. The logo sort of looked like a sea shell and fit in with the rest of the motif of the room.
Or the Daewoo DR-200
<img src="http://img417.imageshack.us/img417/8972/daewoo0018ll.jpg"width=500>
My old Korean apartment building? Went home to sleep in the old Samsung every night. But that probably doesn't count since it's an uncommon car brand and the whole Korean Chaebol thing wherein the big companies make everything.
Yep, pretty much. But there is an eventual automotive tie-in. The Kumho conglomerate makes tires, and also runs Asiana Airlines.
You could have driven a Samsung car to your Samsung apt, cooked rice in a Samsung rice cooker, placed the leftovers in a Samsung fridge, turned on your Samsung laptop and connected it to your Samsung TV, run the audio through Samsung speakers, then phoned a friend on your Samsung laptop. I lived this with LG, apart from the car.
Charcoal was invented as a way to get revenue from FoMoCo's wood scraps.
<img src="http://www.oldgas.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=download&Number=9521&filename=Ford%20Charcoal.jpg" width=500>
Still sold under the Kingsford brand. No lie.
http://www.kingsford.com/our-heritage/
Remember the lady who lived in the shoe? Well, this is her bitchin' Lambo.
<img src="http://www.dsgnwrld.com/wp-content/uploads/hotheels.jpg">
I guess it's the Spyder model, not the Superleggera. It's all open there. They should make a more glamourous version. With Alcantara, more carbon fiber and a spoiler at the top of the heels. Call it the sixth element and women buy for sure.
Be kind and rewind in style.
<img src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQtko5ucjogz36rWYslqX6x0D8ETy5JD2N7b4bADV0qWZrT0D6z" width="400">
<img src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTXtqw4cNY8Q3g_3VEOMAhLJFO4NUkyW7PaGLo00lCpzE3uZsv_" width="500">
Does Inland or Saginaw Steering Gear count as a GM brand?
If so, then the M-1 Carbine
<img src="http://images52.fotki.com/v727/photos/4/47955/2722232/44Inland_right-vi.jpg"width=500>
This should be just a reply to the IH refrigerator and the Saginaw M-1, but what the hell.
<img src="http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f118/twobrokefeet/Garand2-1.jpg" width="500/"> http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f118/twobrokefe…
The International Harvester M-1 Garand. Not actually a weird tie-in, and certainly not done to lend IHC's considerable gravitas to an otherwise generic product. M-1 Garand production was sub-contracted to a number of industrial giants to decentralize production. Factory bombing, you know.
Sorta related (just not to the question o' the day) to WWII weirdness, and since you mentioned bombing, the Zero Hour Bomb Company was looking for a way to stay in business after the war demand vanished and need for their pre-war oil field explosives dried up. Coincidentally, some Texan had just invented a non-backlashing fishing reel and needed someone to produce it for him.
ZEro hour Bomb COmpany became ZEBCO.
Now that's some swords-to-plowshares business there.
I still prefer to think a Gomer Pyle-esque country bumpkin named Zebediah made a million dollars with his ZebCo business and went fishin'. Call it the rags-to-riches version.
Licensed Kawasaki musical toys. Which makes perfect sense because Kawasaki is so known for their music equipment. In fact they put three tuning forks in their company logo. No, wait…
<img src="http://assets.farmandfleet.com/p600/726666-20121017061154-kawasaki-music-kawasaki-guitar-and-stage-mic-set.jpg" width="360">
From my wife's world:
<img src="http://img2.etsystatic.com/000/0/5182977/il_fullxfull.16829826.jpg">
Actually she has a Brother knitting machine, same company that now makes printers. I believe Suzuki also started out making knitting and weaving machines.
Toyota started by producing looms. So actually, the car was their spinoff.
Travel mugs aren't all that weird of a tie-in. But this mug;
<img src="http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c275/Magnum007/Challenger%20Mug/IMG_8976.jpg" width=500 /img>
Does not fit in the cupholder of a Challenger. You'd think that would be a given.
I cant believe no one has mentioned Catapillar branded boots!
My pair is ten years old and still serviceable.
You're supposed to drink this stuff?<img src="http://www.productwiki.com/upload/images/nos_energy_drink.jpg">Does it have the same stuff inside as this bigger bottle?<img src="http://image.jpmagazine.com/f/9596949/154_0608_09_z+10_pound_nitrous_bottles_nos+two_noses.jpg">Mmmm, bet that's tasty.
Anyone else here willing to admit that they have actually had NOS (the drink) only because Paul Walker always had a can in his hand in The Fast and Furious? I can admit it.
That said, I thought it tasted pretty good for an energy drink. I'm also pretty sure that drinking a lot of energy drinks will give you a heart attack by age 35, so I haven't had one in a long time.
My dad has NASCAR-branded glasses. <img src="http://www.bestbuyeyeglasses.com/img/product.ashx/p?341876-1F4A9054.jpg">
He didn't notice this until he got back from the eye doctor, as the branding is only on the inside of the frame.
I had Harley branded glasses when I was 14. They looked pretty neat, but were less than durable, since they eventually broke in half.
It's kind of weird that NASCAR glasses just look like regular glasses.