Hooniverse Asks- What do you Think has Been the Dumbest Automaker Advertising Line?

Robert Emslie

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Thunder

Making your own thunder is perhaps not the best tag line for an auto advertisement. That is, unless the ad is touting a car’s power windows and flow-through ventilation. Still, that was what Ford thought would drive people to consider the massive mid-seventies Thunderbird. This was the same company that thought “Road-Hugging Weight” would be a good incentive for moving an economy car, and featured that tag on ads for the parsimonious Pinto Pony.

They say that hindsight is 20/20, and of course it’s easy to look back and armchair quarterback the decisions of car companies and their ad agency partners. That being said, there have been a ton of advertising tag lines that upon reflection, may not have been well thought out before releasing on the car buying public. Those are the ones we want today.

Do you remember Buick’s “Dream Up” campaign set to the tune of Aerosmith’s Dream On? Man, did that stink the place up. Fortunately, someone at the maker caught whiff of the ads and put a stop to it before Buick went the way of Pontiac. That’s the kind of stuff we want today. What do you think has been the dumbest-ever automaker advertising line? 

Image source: ClassicCarsTodayOnline

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Robert Emslie

Robert Emslie

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65 responses to “Hooniverse Asks- What do you Think has Been the Dumbest Automaker Advertising Line?”

  1. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    Toyotathon.

    Reply
  2. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    I beg your pardon?
    <img src="http://thatslikewhoa.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/sexist-ads7.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

    Reply
    1. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      WHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

      Reply
    2. OA5599 Avatar
      OA5599

      Funny as hell, but not the way Pontiac advertised it.
      <img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_FA-AN9mfIZI/TLibJdJ9WeI/AAAAAAAAADs/MDub-RiYkqs/s1600/1957+Pontiac+Star+Chief+ads.jpg&quot; width=500>

      Reply
      1. TurboBrick Avatar
        TurboBrick

        …also introducing the new subcompact, Handker-chief.

        Reply
      2. $kaycog Avatar
        $kaycog

        Party pooper.

        Reply
        1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
          Scandinavian Flick ★

          No, that's a different car…
          <img src="http://i.imgur.com/F4f2qRy.jpg&quot; width="500">
          <a href="http://www.examiner.com/article/rolls-royce-vignale-special-first-car-with-toilet” target=”_blank”>http://www.examiner.com/article/rolls-royce-vignale-special-first-car-with-toilet

          Reply
          1. $kaycog Avatar
            $kaycog

            Well, for crap's sake.
            /Hi, Flick!

          2. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
            Scandinavian Flick ★

            <img src="http://i.imgur.com/IobqEfM.gif&quot; width="300">

          3. rustylink Avatar
            rustylink

            Champagne bucket fellas, champagne bucket

  3. OA5599 Avatar
    OA5599

    Honda. We make it simple.
    Unless you realize "simple" is a bad trait for the second biggest purchase of your life, then we'll say it isn't so simple.
    <img src="http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/0/6/7/5/1/2/webimg/261903098_o.jpg&quot; width="500">
    Simple enough?

    Reply
    1. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      I really need to scan in the late 1970s parody ad I have for Honda. The line was "Honka. We make it shrimpy." It shows a CVCC like car with only one axle in the middle, balanced on two wheels.

      Reply
      1. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
        Irishzombieman☆

        Yes. Yes you do. You've been saying that for too long.
        /wink
        http://hooniverse.info/2011/07/14/hooniverse-asks-…

        Reply
  4. Dacket84 Avatar
    Dacket84

    I'm pretty sure that this guy approves of this particular edition of the Thunder Bird:
    <img src="http://www.big13.net/Achorman%20photos/Burgandy.jpeg&quot; width="600">

    Reply
  5. Vavon Avatar
    Vavon

    So no car for the most of us then!
    <img src="http://ritakeller.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/0ebae_mercedes-benz-the-best-or-nothing1.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. ThirdPedalGirl Avatar
      ThirdPedalGirl

      "You poors can walk!"

      Reply
    2. I Think Not Avatar
      I Think Not

      I suppose the rest of us must wait until our betters are finished with their Benzes, then we can purchase them on the used market — cannot forget our place in life, can we?

      Reply
  6. VolvoNut Avatar
    VolvoNut

    Here in Pittsburgh if I hear The Clarks Toyota commercial one more time I am going to hurl. Absolute saturation on all channels it seems. http://youtu.be/HWFtCpfuSEI
    gah!

    Reply
  7. LTDScott Avatar
    LTDScott

    While Toyota didn't say this directly, the couple who claimed their Camry was "grounded to the ground" in recent Camry ads because it had ground effects made me do a total facepalm.
    <img src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/532113_527465003930770_1378602078_n.jpg"&gt;
    Apparently I'm not the only one, as it has spawned a meme.
    <img src="http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/34374190.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. TurboBrick Avatar
      TurboBrick

      That ad made me want to throw a temper tantrum on the floor. Make the girl say things that guys would like and make the guy say things that girls would like = now the girl is cool and guy is sensitive, ohh…
      Grounded to the ground wasn't the dumbest line in the ad, it was the "It's got features that guys like, like the sleek lines and wheels". You know.. wheels have been a feature that has received nearly universal praise since the invention of the automobile. In fact, I've made sure ALL of my cars have had those!

      Reply
      1. LTDScott Avatar
        LTDScott

        Yeah, the grounded quote was just the tip of the iceberg, but it was the one that ruffled the most feathers with car enthusiasts.

        Reply
  8. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    Not your Father's Oldsmobile? What if your father's Oldsmobile was this;
    <img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-03COsJxpW8A/UIO4HlnmbOI/AAAAAAAB3Zo/FkJyzzmbAe8/s640/1950+Oldsmobile+Rocket+88+Adverts+(9).jpg" height="500" img="">
    Or this;
    <img src="http://nkazmers.tripod.com/442frontside1.jpg&quot; width=500 /img>
    Or even this?
    <img src="http://carphotos.cardomain.com/ride_images/3/2823/222/32055110872_large.jpg&quot; width="500" img="">
    To be fair, I don't suppose they could really use "Yeah, we all kind of screwed up the Malaise Era."

    Reply
    1. wunno sev Avatar
      wunno sev

      i never really understood "Image Hosted by Tripod" either
      what were they trying to get at? exclusivity? an "emperor's new clothes" sort of thing?

      Reply
      1. Maymar Avatar
        Maymar

        Huh, showed up fine on my initial posting (because the image was already in my cache?). Welp, it was supposed to be a '66 or so 442.
        And come to think of it, one Ash Williams was using an Olds to fight off the undead and primitive screwheads around that time. And Chuck D was rolling in his Ninety-Eight. There's a point there somewhere, their fathers' Olds'?

        Reply
        1. wunno sev Avatar
          wunno sev

          thumbs-up for Public Enemy reference
          <img src="http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/11637227/Public+Enemy+++Fight+The+Power.jpg"&gt;

          Reply
    2. ptschett Avatar
      ptschett

      Indeed. My father's present-day Oldsmobile is this:
      <img src="http://oi30.tinypic.com/4lof9v.jpg&quot; width="500"/>
      …because he had one much like this in his early 20's, years before I was born.
      <img src="http://oi43.tinypic.com/2vvu8o8.jpg&quot; width="500"/>

      Reply
      1. hubba Avatar
        hubba

        If he gave up the 442 for you, it probably was a bad decision.

        Reply
  9. JayP2112 Avatar
    JayP2112

    <img src="http://nozama.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54ed05fc288330133f32f1ffc970b-400wi&quot; width="400">

    Reply
    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      Ducks named Ziggy? The Caddy that Zigs?
      [youtube f06pr7ziMFg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f06pr7ziMFg youtube]

      Reply
  10. Van_Sarockin Avatar
    Van_Sarockin

    Ford also referred to the Monarch and Granada as "Precision Sized".

    Reply
  11. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    "Put Mercury on your List" could have as easily been written "No one would ordinarily consider our cars, so even though we know you probably won't buy one in the end…we're begging you, at least give us a shot."
    <img src="http://blog.cargurus.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/wagner_jill222.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. TurboBrick Avatar
      TurboBrick

      It kind of worked… I put Jill Wagner on my list.

      Reply
      1. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        Yeah buddy! And, she's coming back to Wipeout, after being MIA for the last season or two.. I saw her on a recent commercial for Summer Wipeout.

        Reply
        1. fodder650 Avatar
          fodder650

          She's been back for a couple episodes already actually.

          Reply
    2. Maymar Avatar
      Maymar

      Of course, Ford's used both "Have you driven a Ford, Lately?" And Ford – Try One (or something to that effect). They're not a company that shies from borderline desperation.

      Reply
      1. cap'n fast Avatar
        cap'n fast

        yeah, but they still didn't drink the kool-aide… drove a ford yesterday…it was interesting…drove buick on Friday…it was boring.

        Reply
  12. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    The "Suzuki Introduces America" series was just plain stupid.
    Let's make an awkward point of our import status (at a time when "Jap crap" was still a popular term) while insinuating that we know more about a foreign nation than the people who live there.
    <img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8034/8068672860_49f2ca20e0.jpg&quot; width="400">
    <img src="http://www.tias.com/stores/mspackratz/pictures/r4263a.jpg&quot; width="300">

    Reply
  13. Cy Nuppnow Avatar
    Cy Nuppnow

    "Make a little thunder of your own"?! That's a better slogan for Taco Bell.

    Reply
  14. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick ★

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/vdbe7Xl.jpg&quot; width="550">
    Seriously, if you need convincing of this fact, the problem lies with your product; not your advertising.

    Reply
  15. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    Inexpensive, and built to stay that way. So, built cheaply then.
    <img src="http://a15ff11300g.sakura.ne.jp/catalogue/oversea/1979%20SUBARU.inexpensive.and%20built%20to%20stay%20that%20way.(2)/large/1979%20SUBARU.inexpensive.and%20built%20to%20stay%20that%20way.(2).01.jpg" width="500">

    Reply
    1. Wiremaster Avatar
      Wiremaster

      It is an easily-misunderstood ad. They're trying to say "It doesn't cost much, and maintenance won't cost much, either." but it's easily misinterpreted as "It's cheap junk and always will be."

      Reply
    2. smokyburnout Avatar
      smokyburnout

      When they first came to America they were even less subtle
      [youtube zLPp-NFInXw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLPp-NFInXw youtube]

      Reply
      1. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        "The Little Su-BAH-Ru"? Wow! The hot chicks? Even wower!
        I actually knew someone that owned one, back in high school.

        Reply
  16. vwminispeedster Avatar
    vwminispeedster

    Sorta lost in translation from French to 'Merican… <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/t/1969-69-Mehari-Citroen-ORIGINAL-Ad-CMY-STORE-4-MORE-GREAT-ADS-5-FREE-SHIP-/03/!Bc2p8c!Bmk~$(KGrHqYH-CIEq3!t422KBK2U0IpTWQ~~_35.JPG"&gt;

    Reply
    1. Devin Avatar
      Devin

      Given that Citroen never really made any inroads in the American market, that's probably accurate actually.

      Reply
    2. LTDScott Avatar
      LTDScott

      At least they got the saying right. This is one of my biggest verbal pet peeves.
      <img src="http://forum.spiritcompany.com/smilies/caring.jpg"&gt;

      Reply
      1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
        Scandinavian Flick ★

        It's annoying, but I could care less.

        Reply
        1. LTDScott Avatar
          LTDScott

          DOWNVOTE!

          Reply
          1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
            Scandinavian Flick ★

            Now you're just being careless.

          2. Van_Sarockin Avatar
            Van_Sarockin

            At least he's not carless.

  17. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    It's not a car, it's a Volkswagen. Doesn't Volkswagen literally mean People's Car? So the ad is contradicting itself right there! Plus, if you look at the picture, it's clearly a car, they don't get much more car-like than that car right there.
    <img src="http://file.vintageadbrowser.com/tapdv6ox6vuxnk.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. TrueBlue315 Avatar
      TrueBlue315

      "0-50 in 6.8 seconds" is kind of a misleading number. 0-60 (or the 0-62 number after conversions) is repeated over and over as it allows you to compare apples-to-apples between vehicles.
      That's like stating the 14-58 time is 9.34 seconds. Is that good? Bad? Indifferent?

      Reply
      1. TurboBrick Avatar
        TurboBrick

        See, back then the 55mph speed limit was still in effect and you can't advertise your car being able to go things that are illegal!

        Reply
        1. P161911 Avatar
          P161911

          0-50 times was pretty common in car ads in the early 1980s.

          Reply
  18. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    "Chevy Runs Deep"
    I rest my case.

    Reply
    1. ptschett Avatar
      ptschett

      I always thought the Volt needed its own version of that: "Runs Silent, Runs Deep".

      Reply
    2. vwminispeedster Avatar
      vwminispeedster

      I always feel like I have t take a shower when I hear that line. *shudders

      Reply
    3. Jay_Ramey Avatar
      Jay_Ramey

      THANK you. I still don't know what that means.

      Reply
    4. cap'n fast Avatar
      cap'n fast

      but what does it mean???? bit deep for me

      Reply
  19. MrP Avatar
    MrP

    *Ahem*….
    Toyota: Always moving forward
    Awkward timing, yes?

    Reply
    1. Abe Avatar
      Abe

      My upvotes, you may have them all.

      Reply
  20. cap'n fast Avatar
    cap'n fast

    I am convinced that Richard Widmark truly believed it when he stated that "the quality goes in before the GM name goes on" . What a great actor. I gagged when I saw the commercial. Ahhhh, the memories it brings back….

    Reply
  21. desolit Avatar
    desolit

    'Subaru – Can I kick the tiiiiires?'

    Reply
  22. jjd241 Avatar
    jjd241

    <img src="http://i.imgur.com/mBRoNK7.jpg&quot; title="Hosted by imgur.com" />

    Reply
  23. Gretchen Avatar
    Gretchen

    I was curious if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your blog?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say.
    But maybe you could a little more in the way of content
    so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two pictures.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

    Reply