Craigslist Crapshoot

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer. Last week I asked you to go and find French cars for sale outside of France.  We’ll find out which one’s the most my chariot amour after the jump, but first this week’s assignment!

Here in America it was long considered that our domestic car makers couldn’t profitably build a small vehicle to save their lives. Many of the Big Three’s attempts at doing so resulted in either small cars that drove like their hulking big brothers, or just abject failure. For the period spanning the late sixties through the eighties, Detroit pretty much hung out the white flag, employing a can’t beat ’em, buy ’em strategy which resulted in a slew of diminutive vehicles made elsewhere, but sold here under the Stars and Stripes brand names. Those vehicles were collectively given the name of captive imports.

This week I want you to go and find us some of those imports in fact if not in name. Can you dig up a Plymouth Cricket? How about an original Ford Fiesta? I’m sure that somewhere out there somebody is trying to unload their Korean-built Pontiac LeMans, I mean, who wouldn’t? 

And as usual, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Follow any of the following advice and you’re crap will be known far and wide.

  1. Easiest way to not get caught in the spam filters is to create an IntenseDebate account. If you do so and your posts aren’t appearing, let us know at tips@hooniverse.info and we can put you on the whitelist
  2. If you don’t want an IDC account, you can create a wordpress.com account and do the same thing.
  3. If you’re the Ted Kaczynski type and don’t want any kind of account, then try to place only a single link in a comment and just drop any outgoing link in via its raw URL and not as a text link
Craigslist Crapshoot doesn’t work if your candidates don’t get seen, so hopefully following one of these options will ensure that the floodgates of crap are fully open. And now, Let’s raise a glass in a French toast. Mmmm, French toast.
Every car-building nation in Europe seems to imbue their products with a certain, how shall I say it, je ne said quoi. In the case of France, their cars take a different path from every other maker on the planet on just about every factor, including everything from looks to operation. This week’s Craigslist Crapshoot crown goes to Sjalabais, for finding what might be the most French French car there is, this 1980 Citroën GSA 1300. 
 
The GS was first introduced in 1970 and served as the styling exemplar for the full-sized CX. The car also provided the platform for the Birotor, a Wankel edition whose failure (847 sold) contributed to Citroën’s financial ruin. The GSA was introduced in ’79 as an upgraded edition of the flat four-powered GS. The cars maintained the incredibly complex hydraulic system for which the marque is known, and as you can tell from the pics for this Finland-located edition, also sport an interior like no other non-French car in the world.
 
Well done Sjalabais, maybe this will appease your wife.
 
FINN.no - Mulighetenes marked
Image source: FINN.no

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86 responses to “Craigslist Crapshoot”

  1. oldcarjunkie Avatar
    oldcarjunkie

    This would be borderline but how about an Envoy Epic? Canadian market only version of the Vauxhall Viva. This one is the HB version which has a scaled down American car look to it.
    http://alberta.kijiji.ca/c-cars-vehicles-classic-
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/$(KGrHqNHJBUE+MeTZFqiBP3+)(cZN!~~48_20.JPG"&gt;

    1. LTDScott Avatar

      Wow, I'm pretty well versed in oddball Canuckian cars, but I've never heard of this one before. Hooray for learning something new!

      1. oldcarjunkie Avatar
        oldcarjunkie

        I actually own an earlier HA version – a 1965. Vauxhalls were sold by Pontiac/Buick dealers Envoys at Chevrolet/Oldsmobile dealers. Not too many survivors left these days.
        http://www.flickr.com/photos/daveseven/8638779890

  2. erikgrad Avatar
    erikgrad

    1981 Plymouth Arrow Pickup. 'Slight' rust issue, seems like a nice price though.
    http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/dak/cto/3775679
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E33F53N75Ka5H85M8d4ue03743c19637193e.jpg&quot; width="600">

    1. ptschett Avatar
      ptschett

      Might be 'slight' for Minnesota standards. I've seen MN-licensed pickups that were built in the 2000's and already have complete rust-through above the rear wheels.

  3. I Think Not Avatar
    I Think Not

    I won't get many votes for this because it's plebian and boring, but I had to share because it was my first vehicle:
    The Dodge Ram 50, a captive import of the Mitsubishi Mighty Max.
    Mine was a 1988 example, but practically identical to the truck in this ad, color and interior included (but without the topper).
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ga3K33J55N95G45Ead4l5b3ef570a26f17a2.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3757885489.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3757885489.html

    1. I Think Not Avatar
      I Think Not

      The Caddy that zigs!
      (And is so massive it cannot fit into the frame!)
      <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K93Nd3H45I25K35F8d57d07a96db7e491e36.jpg"&gt;
      <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3790842722.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3790842722.html

      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar
        FuzzyPlushroom

        I saw one of those on the road the other day!
        I know, right?

      2. Cynical Rick Avatar
        Cynical Rick

        My neighbor picked up a free, clean, low mile one and got 6 trouble-free months of driving out of it.
        In one of the best deals ever a friend of his in need traded him straight up for an 02 Silverado 1500hd 4×4!
        A dodged bullet if I've ever seen one.

  4. Tomsk Avatar

    Would you shell out $4k for what's probably the world's nicest Plymouth Sapporo? Even if it's an automatic and overheats?
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3I93Je3N95Gb5M65J9d59d98a4cefb9b51928.jpg"&gt;
    http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sgv/cto/37958909
    Or maybe your tastes run more toward something with greater potential, if not…SUPER POTENTIAL!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3K23Fc3Ie5Gf5H15M6d4j12e33f0c19bb1dfa.jpg&quot; />
    <a href="http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/cto/3754106324.html” target=”_blank”>http://orangecounty.craigslist.org/cto/3754106324.html

    1. frankthecat Avatar

      I can hear the head gasket on that StarQuest blowing from here.

  5. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    How about an Asüna Sunrunner? It has a touch of rust.
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDgwMA==/$T2eC16VHJH8E9qSEWJ,iBRcKgV!(V!~~48_20.JPG&quot; width="500">
    It has an umlaut so it's hardcore.

    1. oldcarjunkie Avatar
      oldcarjunkie

      Canada also got a Pontiac and GMC version.

  6. I Think Not Avatar
    I Think Not

    I love this —
    A Chrysler Conquest with what looks to be a mighty clean, if incomplete V8 swap. And although there was no good reason to go with a Mopar V8 instead of an SBC, they done it anyway (looks like a 318 or 360).
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ff3J33Na5N45Fa5M2d46fc2d45fc4a2f1cbf.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3726802610.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3726802610.html

  7. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    For some reason, almost every Ford Aspire I've ever seen is pink.
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDgwMA==/$T2eC16V,!)UE9s3wCPQLBRjYBE1Ppw~~48_20.JPG" width="500">
    Including this one

    1. zaddikim Avatar
      zaddikim

      I've seen exactly one that is blue, but I cannot provide pictorial evidence, thusly one can conclude that they are all pink.

      1. Devin Avatar
        Devin

        Me too! It was owned by my cousin many years ago, and then stolen and started on fire.
        I'm assuming that's the only one that wasn't pink.

  8. I Think Not Avatar
    I Think Not

    Painting the rear bumper of this Courier was a questionable choice when the front is still chrome, and flat-black-on-red-wheels is overplayed, but I actually dig the interior.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Gd3I83H25Fc5J35Mdd4f4257c6b92d531760.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3745476074.html” target=”_blank”>http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3745476074.html

  9. I Think Not Avatar
    I Think Not

    I didn't know metropolitans were imported until just now. Sweet!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E43G33H95E45Kb5H9d5714afb4297ace1980.jpg"&gt;
    http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3791745791.h

    1. zaddikim Avatar
      zaddikim

      Before I moved to The Prairies, I would regularly see a Metropolitan convertible being driven by a fetching mother/daughter combo in the Fraser Valley. Same colour scheme, though the red was much less faded due to a well-done respray.

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Here's one for 500 bucks, that just needs a head gasket, and a few other things:
      <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kf3I53L75E95K65Jcd57afa48e57267211f1.jpg"&gt;
      The owner is open to some interesting trades, as long as it's not a '68 Galaxie, as he's already got "to many".
      <a href="http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3791418993.html” target=”_blank”>http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3791418993.html

    2. Alcology Avatar
      Alcology

      I want one of these sooo bad.

      1. XRSevin Avatar
        XRSevin

        I had one. Think of it as Mazda's Karmann Ghia.

        1. Tomsk Avatar

          I wonder how hard it would be to stick a 323 GTX drivetrain under one of these. Same platform, IIRC.

          1. Abe Avatar
            Abe

            It has been done at least twice.
            I still have the complete powertrains from 2 Capri XR2's in my garage from back in the days when I though putting a 1.6 turbo motor in a Festiva would be fun.
            Edit for clarification.

  10. joshuman Avatar
    joshuman

    BMC built the Nash Metropolitan. Other examples are available but this one has just enough blur in the photos to make you think you might be drunk. <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3I83J33N95K25H35Mdd5a767fc74364ff15a7.jpg"&gt; <a href="http://portland.craigslist.org/yam/cto/3796738573.html” target=”_blank”>http://portland.craigslist.org/yam/cto/3796738573.html

    1. joshuman Avatar
      joshuman

      Don't vote for this one. I hadn't refreshed the page and I Think Not beat me to it. It's two up from here.

      1. I Think Not Avatar
        I Think Not

        In all fairness, yours has a better photo and looks to be a nicer example.
        Also, I was posting all willy-nilly without refreshing, so it happens 🙂

        1. mdharrell Avatar

          There's still the question of tracking down a Hudson Metropolitan instead.

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      A bargin? I'm on it.

  11. joshuman Avatar
    joshuman

    This GTO is right down the hill. I'm not sure if the orange is bright enough to shine all the way to Australia.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3F63Me3H35Fd5M85Jbd580ad3171b80671678.jpg"&gt; <a href="http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/3793520838.html” target=”_blank”>http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/ctd/3793520838.html

    1. Abe Avatar
      Abe

      If it is anywhere near decent shape for a decent price and you drive it, you will own it.

  12. erikgrad Avatar
    erikgrad

    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Kf3J93N15Na5G15Hed47b96fc06ed8331340.jpg&quot; width="600">
    1979 Buick Opel, definitely a rare one. The pictures are awful of course, and you cannot see the whole car. <a href="http://greatfalls.craigslist.org/cto/3728977826.html” target=”_blank”>http://greatfalls.craigslist.org/cto/3728977826.html

  13. P161911 Avatar

    A Ford Festiva with a fishy title.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ec3Lc3Je5K95He5M3d5438f610da3b571c69.jpg"width=500&gt;
    Replacement titles are EASY to get in GA if everything is on the up and up. <a href="http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3784582911.html” target=”_blank”>http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3784582911.html

    1. Paul E Avatar
      Paul E

      Carp-e Festiva?
      Car-pay Festiva?
      Walleyeing down the road?

    1. Alff Avatar

      My first car. Lovable crapcan.

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      The first one has an in-bed entertainment system.

  14. P161911 Avatar

    This counts right? It is a Dodge.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E63G23Jd5Nb5K95M3d4r12e087d893e0196f.jpg&quot; width="500/"> http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3770459048….
    Probably one of the last Mopar captive imports.
    Here is a Puerto Rican one on the Atlanta CL. Probably a scam.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Ld3Fd3Nd5G45Ea5F2d4n376c70cefd11137a.jpg"width=500&gt; <a href="http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3759365559.html” target=”_blank”>http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/cto/3759365559.html

  15. dukeisduke Avatar
    dukeisduke

    How about a surface rusty Opel GT, with two hoods, one being an awesome fiberglass one with a power bulge ($2500):
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3I33Mc3H85I45H65M3d4mf9526ca346b01ad8.jpg"&gt;
    http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/ctd/3759840419.h
    OR,
    One that runs, for a grand less (and it's disguised with a black mask painted on – ooooh, mystery!
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3G13Kd3Mb5I35K85J3d4jb82f5c2cddee1874.jpg"&gt;
    <a href="http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3753207941.html” target=”_blank”>http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/3753207941.html

  16. P161911 Avatar

    So where does a Chevrolet Captiva Sport fall on this? It is the Saturn Vue for rental fleets only after Saturn died. Basically the Opel Antara made in Mexico. Seem to be several for sale at local dealers.
    <img src="http://www.muya-sufe.com/765g90/212u/x0d/tw/k7/m.jpg"width=500&gt; <a href="http://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/ctd/3802800088.html” target=”_blank”>http://atlanta.craigslist.org/sat/ctd/3802800088.html

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      I'm starting to see lots of Captivas, as they're spilling out of the rental fleets into places like CarMax. Can you imagine all the buyers seeing these things and asking the salesman, "What's a Captiva? I've never heard of those, and they're not on the Chevy dealers' lots."

      1. P161911 Avatar

        Sort of like the 2004-2005 Chevrolet Classic, an old Malibu with a different name.
        "The toolings paid for, it still meets regulations, rental companies will buy any cheap crap that rolls."

        1. LTDScott Avatar

          Chevy did that in 2008 and 2013 too.

        2. dukeisduke Avatar
          dukeisduke

          I see a lot of those, too, and now they've flowed down to the "note lots".
          /nosotros financiamos

    2. erikgrad Avatar
      erikgrad

      Just occurred to me, I wonder if they named it Captiva because it's a captive import?

  17. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    An Eagle Talon or two? One has two motors in the trunk and turbos and stuff like that.
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDgwMA==/$T2eC16RHJHkFFmN1FZLKBRio(Cuc8!~~48_20.JPG&quot; width="500">
    No idea what they look like since the sun is in my eyes.

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      Minus the hood scoop, it kinda works…

  18. ptschett Avatar
    ptschett

    More of an answer for last week. Unless Simca was someone's captive import in 1958.
    http://fargo.craigslist.org/cto/3774341686.html
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3G73Ka3L35L85K45Mdd4t9a1ce0a8cb4213e9.jpg&quot; width="500"/>

  19. C³-Cool Cadillac Cat Avatar
    C³-Cool Cadillac Cat

    I know Dodge Colt has been posted, but here's the 3-door version, WITH TWIN-STIK, which I haven't seen in 20 years.
    <img src="http://www.smog-era.com/images/dodge%20colt%20hatchback%201979.jpg&quot; width="400">
    Of course, anything with "Geo" in the name…

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      My wagoneer is painted that shade of blue.
      Like, when it was re-painted back in '98, they used the factory paint code for that shade of blue from the Colt.

    1. Devin Avatar
      Devin

      Well he only promised a clean ass, so I guess the broken front end is acceptable.

    1. I Think Not Avatar
      I Think Not

      Swap the auto for a 5-speed, and that Colt Vista is the first car I remember my parents owning. Same year, same color, and about the same condition when they traded it for… wait for it… another Colt Vista ::hangs head::

    2. C³-Cool Cadillac Cat Avatar
      C³-Cool Cadillac Cat

      I still have a weakness for the Scorpio, even though they did not age at all well.

  20. muthalovin Avatar

    Okay, this is pretty damn cool:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3F23M73N25N15Ee5F5d4m003b0c298a961c78.jpg"&gt;
    chevy luv – $6200
    "ITS A RACING TRUCK
    HAVE A 350 ENGINE PERFORMANCE
    OVER .30 FLAT TOP PISTONS
    COMP CAM .530 LIFT
    COMPETITION HEADERS
    350 TRANSMISSION
    SLIT TIRES MICKEY THOMPSON
    ROCKER ARMS 1.6 ROLLER
    EDELBROCK VICTOR JR.
    1/4 MILE– 12.95/13.03"
    <a href="http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3760282000.html” target=”_blank”>http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3760282000.html

    1. frankthecat Avatar

      he wants to sell it "…before it gets to [sic] bad off." yes, because a car with wheels that've sunk past the rims into the ground, with more rust than paint, is not 'bad off.'

    2. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      Cool. I couldn't find one of those (or an Austin Marina) on the DFW CL site.

  21. muthalovin Avatar

    I just enjoy this picture. "Here, lets go to the car wash, and take pictures while I was the car. No, WHILE, not after, dumbass."
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3G53J63N35I35G25J3d5f54f38353efca181f.jpg"&gt;
    1991 eagle talon eclipse turbo 6 bolt – $2500
    <a href="http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3806638628.html” target=”_blank”>http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/3806638628.html

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      "take pictures while I was the car"
      I want to go to a car wash that transforms me into a car while my friends bathe me.

      I think.

      1. Vairship Avatar
        Vairship

        Depends on which friends…

  22. muthalovin Avatar

    This is not crap, but by far the nicest Opel GT I have ever seen, ever. Ever, ever.
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3G53Lc3I75La5Ea5Jfd4le3a0011d95f31aba.jpg"&gt;
    Classic 1971 Opel GT – $12000
    <a href="http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3757225998.html” target=”_blank”>http://sanantonio.craigslist.org/cto/3757225998.html

    1. Abe Avatar
      Abe

      Do, want!!!The modern rims even work. Whoever put it together had a good sense of aesthetics.

    1. dukeisduke Avatar
      dukeisduke

      It looks like the game Space Invaders.

    2. Abe Avatar
      Abe

      Lace paint gone very wrong.

    1. Tim Odell Avatar
      Tim Odell

      I want that more than I should.

      1. 1slowvw Avatar
        1slowvw

        Agreed, very tempting. Always wondered how capable the engine management on these was when it came to dealing with extra boost.

  23. Sjalabais Avatar
    Sjalabais

    Wow, this feels good. When will my conversation-starting "I won this week's Craiglist Crapshoot"-T-shirt arrive? =8^) But be aware that .no is Norway, not Finland.
    "In fact if not in name"-imports are a phenomenon confined to car producing countries. Unsure if this counts:
    Daewoo Nexia 1.5, the Korean Opel Kadett. Located in Germany, sold very cheaply.
    <img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDI2WDY0MA==/$(KGrHqUOKo4FFyCCYvgFBRj5RnwI8w~~48_1.JPG"&gt;

    1. Sjalabais Avatar
      Sjalabais

      I remember when the Daewoo arrived in Germany. It was a clever car to start with, the affection for the Opel Kadett was big, especially since Opel had just started to be dismantled by Lopez into a crap-producing falling star. The Espero was supposed to be the bigger alternative, a happy mix of GM-parts with acceptable Bertone-styling. Compared to the successful Nexia, the Espero was exotic.
      Two strange vehicles for Norway to be:
      A hipster's AMC Pacer:
      <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/4/vertical-3/19/6/410/567/06_818687297_xl.jpg"&gt;
      A nice, yellow Trabant 601:
      <img src="http://finncdn.no/mmo/2013/5/vertical-3/06/2/414/490/22_721616419_xl.jpg&quot; width="600">

      1. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        The Pacer photos look like a brochure, like someone found the tooling and is cranking out Pacers in Norway.

  24. curlypaul924 Avatar
    curlypaul924

    1990 Geo Metro XFI complete with steer horns and a spoiler. Normally this would be the high efficiency model; these aerodynamic mods are surely there to bring the fuel efficiency down to more sane figures.
    http://savannah.craigslist.org/cto/3740994247.htm
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E73L93H55Ie5F65H2d4daca9a75555571ce6.jpg"&gt;

  25. curlypaul924 Avatar
    curlypaul924

    Geo Metro pickup:
    You can pickup girls and they can ride in the back
    It's so light you can pickup it with one hand
    This is the 4-cylinder model so it's really got a lot of pickup
    http://columbia.craigslist.org/cto/3759317416.htm
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3E33F23H25Ib5Kd5Mad4me6a5086742761b3a.jpg"&gt;