By Robert Emslie
Welcome to Craigslist Crapshoot, our weekly search for the most bizarre, awesome, and/or terrible vehicles that the online classifieds has to offer.
The pioneers used to shout wagons… ho! or at least that’s what TV shows and movies have led me to believe. Another of my closely held beliefs – and one that I bet you share – is that one of the coolest types of car out there is the sport wagon, or at least a longroof that can haul ass. We’ll see the most wag-worthy of those wagons in a sec, but first let’s get this week’s quest out of the way.
Rice, rice, baby. This week, we want to look at the most egregious examples of unnecessary and potentially deleterious modifications. Find us cars for sale that have lambo doors, body kits, and sound systems designed to sterilize from a distance
As always, we want your finds to go down in infamy and not in the site’s spam filter. Follow any of the following advice and you’re crap will be known far and wide.
- Easiest way to not get caught in the spam filters is to create an IntenseDebate account. If you do so and your posts aren’t appearing, let us know at ti**@ho********.info and we can put you on the whitelist
- If you don’t want an IDC account, you can create a wordpress.com account and do the same thing.
- If you’re the Ted Kaczynski type and don’t want any kind of account, then try to place only a single link in a comment and just drop any outgoing link in via its raw URL and not as a text link.
Got that? Okay then, wagons ho!
Well, thank you. Thank you all for last week’s panoply of speed wagons. It was bliss. Who know Audi had so many rabid rides with longroofs in their stable? Of course, hyper-Audis may not be the best candidates for the longevity award.
For American iron, I’d like to congratulate Engineerd™ both for finding a sweet ’71 Malibu – so cool, it’s sold – and for doing so while simultaneously taking care of a new baby. Way to go, man!
Of course, should you have kids and are always running late then you’ll want this Autobahn-storming E63 AMG wagon with its rear-facing seats so the little tykes can experience the doppler effect first-hand. Found by Muthalovin, this Benz gets the nod as the week’s most rabid transit. Congrats Muthalovin, and a hearty well done to you all!
Jeff Glucker
What says class like JDM written on your hood?
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/ODAwWDYwMA==/z/otQAAOSwKrxUapuy/$_20.JPG">
Needs to continue it and write "yo!" on the bumper.
<img src="http://flashbak.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/gatefold-21.jpg" width=600>
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00s0s_51e4dIRanOT_600x450.jpg">
1999 toyota celica convertible
Apparently it runs and drives 100%. Which is good because anything less than the best is a felony.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00505_hqjelAyeRus_600x450.jpg">
BUT HERE IS THE KICKER
That's not the car. The car this guy is selling is, "STOCK AT THE MOMENT!!!"
So what's with the pictures?
…Asshat.
Is it shopped or is he going to remove the paint if you don't like it?
I think the color is shopped, but I don't even think that's the car. "Just needs bodywork and paint" doesn't seem to match the car in the pictures.
**** UPDATED ***
The guy put the cross-streets for his location. A little Google Streetview and I found a 1999 Toyota Celica Convertible. It's not like looking for a beige Camry.
<img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-3CQT1_RFSh4/VNJt1wVNUoI/AAAAAAAASIE/uZOvZwu61SE/w1146-h677-no/celica.png" width="500/">
<img src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-p5_kJb7m9nk/VNJt1vkgfGI/AAAAAAAASIA/fjsXnM3V2oU/w1205-h677-no/celica%2Bback.png" width="500/">
Just slap a little paint on it….
Hooniverse: Hard hitting Craigslist investigations.
Also if that car was a disease, it would be leprosy.
It does look infectious. If I owned the white Camry I'd want to park farther away… 2-3 miles might be enough if the wind is right.
Where's the link?
http://newyork.craigslist.org/que/cto/4868174035….
Thanks dude!
Now he wants 10k for it completed as in the picture! Asshat indeed.
Yep, a $1000 and $2000 jump in the listing.
He knew once it made it to Hooniverse the value would double. He's just trying to be cool and not completely rip off whoever the buyer is.
MOST CLEANEST, SEXIEST NISSAN 300ZX YOU WILL EVER SEE
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00w0w_1oksD09vUMG_600x450.jpg">
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00909_eEZa88HS35D_600x450.jpg">
I think my definition of "clean" differs from his.
https://austin.craigslist.org/cto/4802791595.html
Well, he said "most cleanest," which must somehow work like a double negative and mean the opposite.
Or something, don't judge me, English class was a while ago.
In regards to the sellers use of "clean".
<img src=" http://i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/… width="600">
In regards to the sellers use of the word “clean”.
<img src="http://www.ginnytonkin.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Do-not-think-it-means.jpeg" width="400">
Well, I can't see any dirt on it.
2001 Tacoma Bagged and Bodied
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01515_nkt8Makg9X_600x450.jpg">
” target=”_blank”>http://www.minitruckinweb.com/features/toyota/1401_2001_toyota_tacoma_lockdown/#ixzz375MwHJue
Wow.
I respect the work that went into this, and the choice of good quality parts and engineering, even if the end result is not to my taste. That being said, it's only worth 13k to a VERY small market…
No doubt this is a labor of love, but the love is questionable, no matter how valiant the effort.
Further proof that love is blind?
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/cto/4853490563…
For the Link.
Words fail me…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00L0L_hFTTCO2z3zv_600x450.jpg" width="600"> http://columbus.craigslist.org/cto/4826723607.htm…
He appears to have forgotten a U on the windshield banner.
He also appears to have forgotten this isn't a Toyota.
What's not to like? Car bras and windshield banners are the shit.
Or maybe they're just shit. I didn't sleep a lot last night, I'm getting confused easily today.
Badging is wrong, yet so right.
Does grandma know what you've done to her car?
When I typed in "lambo doors" into a Google "site:craigslist" search, and the Las Vegas page came up first, I knew it was going to be good. I had no idea it would be *this* good.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00O0O_hh0zp5q5QcJ_600x450.jpg">
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00j0j_1EjvXVR6ZUk_600x450.jpg">
Yep, it's a convertible phantom wagon bagged on dub 26s. Whatever the hell that is. 6 inch wheels included. Oh, and the owner is just "testing waters." Yeah, that seems like an excellent idea, because something is clearly wrong.
http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/cto/4803621390.htm…
Wow. just wow.
Words further fail me…
Please no one give this guy a 69 Camaro.
The stick-on fender vents are tacky.
I agree, they are a bit over the top.
It looks like he cut holes in the fenders (poorly), and put them in. They're off an Escalade. Overall, I give it an Incomplete, since it doesn't have a grille, and left front side marker light is missing.
And the canvas top reminds me of the TopGear Renault Espace convertible project.
Look at how that canvas top is secured, can you imagine the noise going down the road?!
Should be silent, the ad says convertible done right. I believe him.
If I win the lottery and develop some really bad taste, this is my ride.
After seeing this, I'm not even going to bother…
I think this is shaping up to be the best crap shoot in a long time. That thing is hideous.
I think that the 'Testing Waters' will involve one of these, which also provided the base colour choice inspiration.
<img src="http://flaglerlive.com/wp-content/uploads/urine-cup.jpg"width="400">
Bottoms up!
I used a search like that once… I can't remember how to do it now. Can you refresh me?
EDIT- Nevermind. Found it. Thanks.
Here's a Hyundai Tibrun. Not just a typo, he wrote that multiple times. http://cosprings.craigslist.org/cto/4875851230.ht…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00F0F_6irphzcvvRd_600x450.jpg">
No body kit on there yet, but he has one he'll throw in. Oooh, and blue lights, too!
Tib, run!
School Of Life Remedial Program
Course Title: Bad Math
Lesson 1–Disappearing Value: How to spend $3000 making a $2000 car into what you think is a $3600 car but that will probably sell for $2900.
Lesson objective: show where the money went.
*P I N K 98 HONDA CIVIC Lx* – $3600
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00w0w_8BHU390RDnf_600x450.jpg" width="450/">
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00O0O_MhzmJ0IpND_600x450.jpg" width="350/">
http://visalia.craigslist.org/cto/4841167582.html
Simplified answer:
<img src="http://www.primermagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/7Facts/Facts_Toilet.jpg" width="250/">
He spends all that money for pink in the interior and leaves the tan steering wheel. I hope there's a discount for the driver's seat tear. Look behind the console in the image above. Is that a spray on pink? The tan carpet is still visible.
I think this is quickly becoming the new late 70s Camaro. http://cosprings.craigslist.org/cto/4854596058.ht…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00r0r_iDNkWaU9rQ4_600x450.jpg">
But he's got the battery in the trunk! It must be fast!
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00Z0Z_gy0Y6TspF1F_600x450.jpg">
I do give him some credit for including dyno results, as "500hp" usually means "i rounded up from 190"
Best comment so far. Thank you.
Dear lord. At first glance, I thought this was a GTR. It is not, but I don't think that helps.
http://orlando.craigslist.org/cto/4864057786.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00k0k_SlwIyPliQ0_600x450.jpg" />
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00303_dmOuciCywCh_600x450.jpg" />
Not a GT-R.
Pretty sure that's a Lambo, dude.
That should be in the next Avengers movie.
Five tv's AND a custom dragon on the hood, impressive. Me thinks you are a man of means.
That is a remarkably opulent space-saver spare.
Custom Civic with more than $40,000 invested! That's half the price of my house, in one compact car. What a deal! And you can get all this glory for only $3500. Lambo doors, vented hood, flames, body kit. It's all there.
http://orlando.craigslist.org/cto/4857605253.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01515_8sfF1D4CORH_600x450.jpg" />
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00X0X_kXuaAbNuXDm_600x450.jpg" />
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00b0b_3wYwzfv4XMw_50x50c.jpg" />
I don't like the look of that lumbar support.
It's adjustable!
I'd be willing to bet $100000 that the 000000 key on his computer is stuck like on mine.
What is the difference between "invested" and "wasted"?
When in doubt, try using it in a sentence: "Dude, last weekend I got so invested before customizing my car."
In this case, nothing.
Three today:
One cheap Lambo
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NTQwWDk2MA==/z/jr0AAOSw2s1U0mUW/$_20.JPG" width="600"> http://www.kijiji.ca/v-cars-trucks/edmonton/1998-…
One pink Toy
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NTk3WDY0MA==/z/1GAAAOSwYGFUzZli/$_20.JPG" width="600"> http://www.kijiji.ca/v-cars-trucks/edmonton/2001-…
And one not half-bad Fotus
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDQ0WDgwMA==/z/rAUAAOSwWKtUw9yO/$_20.JPG" width="600"> http://www.kijiji.ca/v-classic-cars/edmonton/taki…
75 hp monster
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTIwMFgxNjAw/z/2ucAAOSw8d9UrRqu/$_1.JPG"> http://suchen.mobile.de/auto-inserat/peugeot-206-…
Doubles as a street vacuum, so you cant rent out your commute to work to any cities you pass through.
Is your granny interested in a bangin' ride?
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00Z0Z_esH4qIYGTmG_600x450.jpg">
Crank up the Lawrence Welk, homes!
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00606_jiwYnIKL89n_600x450.jpg">
It's only $3,000.
http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/cto/4875364797.h…
The Home Depot air ride kit is… impressive, actually. And probably wildly unsafe.
I see that welding-gas bottle in the trunk and all I can think of is this: http://hooniverse.info/2011/12/05/last-call-fj-ka-…
<img src="http://hooniverse.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/FJ.jpg" width="500">
Widebody Corrado
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MzIzWDQzMA==/z/6o0AAOSw0e9UwMf7/$_1.JPG"> http://suchen.mobile.de/auto-inserat/vw-corrado-v…
Opel Testarossa
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTIwMFgxNjAw/z/xKQAAOSw6aVUrDlH/$_1.JPG"> http://suchen.mobile.de/auto-inserat/opel-calibra…
Oopstarossa
I have no words…
Shiny black? Check.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00X0X_1goa3KYyrAK_600x450.jpg">
Lambo doors? Check.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00000_1XJ1gW4M5ZT_600x450.jpg">
Lots of speakers? And ostrich (I think) upholstery? Check.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00N0N_eucH1WfIxwx_600x450.jpg">
!!!!82' ls Coupe de ville slab/donk!!!! $14,500. <a href="http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/4863843382.html” target=”_blank”>http://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/cto/4863843382.html
The biggest atrocity is calling it a SLAB. Ain't no Elbows there.
Needs swangaz.
You know…I don't hate it.
Same here, if and when I turn to the donk side this will work just fine. Also, blasting Quiet Riots "Slick Black Cadillac" would be mandatory.
So, you don't like ostrich? How about an alligator interior, and top?
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00m0m_aet63oaj9ag_600x450.jpg">
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00R0R_eaktVM8wt1D_600x450.jpg">
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00606_8srvvqh1xKq_600x450.jpg">
All this and more, for $8,000: <a href="http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/cto/4833406250.html” target=”_blank”>http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/cto/4833406250.html
At least it will go well with those boots I found for a bitchin price at the flea market last week.
[youtube I7TUr047h7o http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7TUr047h7o youtube]
Kitsch for the rich. Mansory
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MzcwWDY0MA==/z/l04AAOSwm8VUwqbi/$_1.JPG"> http://suchen.mobile.de/auto-inserat/bentley-cont…
This is strange…..originally cheap and cheerless Isuzu truck with the carbon fibre steering wheel and mansory interior. wtf
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NzY4WDEwMjQ=/z/eSwAAOxyi-ZTbOEL/$_1.JPG"> http://suchen.mobile.de/auto-inserat/isuzu-d-max-…
I can sort of dig it? I mean, the carbon fibre is cliche at this point and those wheels are awful, but I kinda like the saddle and black color combo, and it's definitely better than what you usually see in a D-Max/Colorado/etc.
Is this what bro-truck would be in Europe? There's couple of macho men or wannabe cowboys with really big (I mean F150 or similar) US trucks and then this, simple work truck with expensive interior. I'd prob. spend that money to get better vehicle.
I can respect just liking a smallish sensible truck and then wanting a nice place to sit while inside it. A bro truck is more about showing off, this is really low key though. It seems more like someone's very specific tastes, you don't even have an indication there's anything more going on until you open the door.
Ya know, I don't hate it (the interior, anyway), but I could do without the Avalanche-y stuff going on over the bed.
At risk of provoking multiple jihads, but hopefully only the C6 ZR1 faithful take the bait on this dumpster fire of mixed memes:
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDUwWDgwMA==/z/flUAAOSwwTlUqlU2/$_20.JPG" /> <a href="http://www.kijiji.ca/v-cars-trucks/calgary/2004-infiniti-g35-coupe-2-door/1043080478?enableSearchNavigationFlag=true” target=”_blank”>http://www.kijiji.ca/v-cars-trucks/calgary/2004-infiniti-g35-coupe-2-door/1043080478?enableSearchNavigationFlag=true
Take a peek at my Nissan's engine….nope you can't, but you can admire the flag of Pakistan. Also, ad needs interior photos.
Shhhh….don't wake the Infiniti G-had!
Dude, you win.
The most expensive car I've seen on our local CL:
1960 Porsche Abarth Tribute – $500000 (Lakewood)
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00X0X_dUyvxLBVbpa_600x450.jpg" width="600">
<a href="http://denver.craigslist.org/cto/4872263451.html” target=”_blank”>http://denver.craigslist.org/cto/4872263451.html
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00P0P_9wScgkAaa8k_600x450.jpg" width="600">
http://portland.craigslist.org/clk/cto/4876564756…
speakers in the grill? do you think they mean the horn?
I live in oregon and that atrocity has been for sale for at least a year.
Speakers in the grille is a new thing that I've been noticing in urban areas. It's intent is so that people *outside* can hear what you're listening to *inside* without actually being in the car. It's terrible. Almost as terrible as those wheels.
Ah-ha. I was thinking this might be the product of a secret military "shock and awe" campaign, complete with an experimental acoustic immobilizer unit in the grill… you know, set to stun.
Maybe those speakers could be used to enhance the engine noise for the enjoyment of the public… couldn't be any worse than pumping growly sounds into the cabin in new cars, right?
I'd rather hear simulated engine growly sounds pumped inside than Waka-Flam and his associated band of gangsta-rap brethren pumped outside.
Rice? In my opinion, I don't see enough of rice on the roads. I realize this Integra is light on the lambo doors, but spoiler, body kit and black hood are in full. https://lincoln.craigslist.org/cto/4844644460.htm…
"I just downloaded a speedometer app on my phone worls great
New batter month old relocated to rear"
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00P0P_9MnJIXlv4ap_600x450.jpg" width="600">
Also, because another Honda jumped out at me, though less ricey, here is a two tone Prelude: https://lincoln.craigslist.org/cto/4877642547.htm…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00r0r_hN9qrSAAUWU_600x450.jpg" width="600">
I couldn't resist. http://altoona.craigslist.org/cto/4847753414.html
$1700! New Carpet!
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01111_83wX9kAi3vW_600x450.jpg">
No back seat.
Stereo needs hooked up and speakers
Dash gauges needs hooked up
Air ride need a configuration and ran to a switch.
What is this diabolical new abbreviated syntax sweeping across the world where the words "to be" are omitted?
The above car needs burned.
It's 2001 all over again yo!
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDgwMA==/z/gacAAOSw8d9UzKBG/$_20.JPG" width=500 />
This one is actually clean and pretty tasteful for me
<img src="http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NjAwWDgwMA==/z/sTwAAOSwzrxUwCn1/$_20.JPG" width=500 />
Sure, it needs some minor finishing, but for $9,500, all the hard work is done.
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00m0m_finbR8MAd2Q_600x450.jpg">
…except the engine, body, paint, interior, wiring…
<a href="https://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/cto/4869479350.html” target=”_blank”>https://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/cto/4869479350.html
"Most of the fabrication is done. All you have to do is to install the engine, mount the body, doors and lids."
Yup. Nearly finished.
I absolutely love how the ads says "Here are what this car has" and "No Engine" within five words of one another.
That's a selling point. It means your powerplant options are wide open.
What exactly are we looking at here?
Only $9,500? Sign me up!
Longtime lurker, first time poster…
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/01212_dJOnJv9RQpS_600x450.jpg">
"2007 Ford Mustang with HAND FORMED STEEL BODY… Electric Lambo door hinges."
"Appraised at $75,000" What? Now just $24.5K. Huh?
Is it supposed to be a lotus?
I don't think it's aiming to be any one make.
More like a mixed buffet.
Hooniverse had post about this awful car. http://hooniverse.info/2013/12/21/weekend-edition-…
Damn, that thing still hasn't sold?
"All About the Benjamins"literally on the back window.Mike Epps on one side wrapped and Ice Cube on the other side wrapped.You will never see a car like this ever.Rebuilt motor last April-May 2013.Rebuilt trans 2013.Blue HIDS.Multi-color wheel well lights but need to be fixed.Green neon lights under the car need to be wired back correct.18" dub floaters.Lambo doors.Over 10,000 invested but just keep running into minor issues..Ive had enough.System included for the right price.Pics are how it looked before I painted the car.Custom Money Grille
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00A0A_aAwrvYq5uua_600x450.jpg">
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00c0c_jEqxiIJ7o8p_600x450.jpg"> http://charleston.craigslist.org/cto/4882832880.h…
Lambo All The Doors!!!!
<img src="http://images.craigslist.org/00X0X_8ud3P3fEuDE_600x450.jpg"> http://columbia.craigslist.org/cto/4838164548.htm…
they lose points for not lambo-ing the hatch
test
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1UZHNHmeN4
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1UZHNHmeN4&w=420&h=315%5D