Before you click the jump, and I know that very few of you will have read this far, such is your eagerness for the riveting audio ecstasy that awaits you, I ask you this. Where else on the internet could you possibly imagine this kind of killer content? There was a time before the world wide web, I’ve heard. Car manufacturers would strive to spread the word about their products in any way they could. Printed media was, of course, the most popular, but people had to take the time to sit and read it. TV advertising was good, but it’s hellishly expensive to run even a twenty second long slot, and it relied on people being sat there as a captive audience, and attention could easily drift. Radio was good, as it allowed people to go about their daily duties whilst having a promotional message subliminally drummed into their head several times a day. In 1986, flushed with frenzied excitement following the release of the New Vauxhall Carlton, somebody in GM’s management had the fantastic idea of issuing a promotional tape about the new car, so people could brainwash themselves voluntarily while driving, because it’s safer to listen to a Vauxhall Cassette at 80 than to read the brochure behind the wheel. And now, in a Hooniverse World Exclusive, you too can share the excitement of Vauxhall’s hottest release of 1986. You lucky, lucky people. [youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM3OUQ-FPAQ[/youtube] I am indebted to my mate Sam for gifting me this priceless artefact, which has lain undisturbed for decades in his Grandfathers attic before being donated to me in recognition of my notoriety for collecting bits of old crap of extremely minority interest. Thanks to my car being equipped with that most ’90s of combinations, the Cassette ‘n Disc Changer, I am officially the first person to have listened to a copy of this tape in at least twenty years. And thanks to the stirring narrative and achingly ’80s musical backing, I’m ready to dance straight into my local Vauxhall dealership and order a new Carlton. It’s just a shame they stopped selling them in 1994. If anybody else has anything that can top this amazing cultural relic, please upload a stupid video of it like I did so we can all stare at it in slack jawed wonderment. (Video copyright Hooniverse/Chris Haining 2014. Audio copyright General Motors 1986).
By RoadworkUK
RoadworkUK is the online persona of Gianni Hirsch, a tall, awkward gentleman with a home office full of gently decomposing paper and a garage full of worthless scrap metal. He lives in the village of Moistly, which is a safe distance from London and is surrounded by enough water and scenery to be interesting. In another life, he has designed, sold, worked on and written about cars in exchange for small quantities of money.
Kamil Kaluski 
Jeff Glucker