By Tim Odell
Apologies to Hugo Weaving on that one. Anyway, here we have yet another combo of decent mechanical skills and questionable taste/judgement. Just…why? There’s no reason for this. This ebay seller’s taken what would’ve otherwise been a great mildly build ’64 Valiant, a car with no major styling defects, and approximated the whole front end as one big voxel, like some kind of early 3D shooter. Even stranger, most of the modifications are done towards making a dragster or road racer, so it’s unclear what a purpose a bricked-off (bricked on?) front end serves.
To its credit, that front end is made from honeycomb sandwiched between two sheets of aluminum, meaning it’s both light and stiff (heh…). That said, there’s really no excuse for it being so damn rectilinear. On the legitimate plus side, it sports a 318ci V8 with heads from a 360ci, plus a pile of other standard-fare upgrades. The front suspension’s been upgraded to an all spherical-rod-end short/long arm setup and the rear axle’s a 3.91:1 limited slip.
Back on the disappointing side, the rear door handles have been shaved and what the seller claims is a “full cage” appears to be missing any kind of cross bar behind the seat. The whole thing has a very LeMons feel, but comes in at 7X the price. You heard me: $3,500.
1964 Plymouth Valiant – eBay Motors
Jeff Glucker
I don't think this car was attractive to begin with, but no car really deserves something like this.
From the a-pillars forward, it looks like a car Gumby would drive.
Boxy, but not so good.
Yeesh…
Manages to make the Volvo 240 look like a Malcolm Sayer creation.
Dude, do you have any idea what an English Wheel costs these days?!
$349 from Northern Tool http://www.northerntool.com/shop/tools/product_20…
Yes, but the edge of a workbench is free!
He ready for qualifying on an oval track.
I don't understand, why is my car overheating?
It looks like a Volvo except for the fact that the roof and greenhouse are too rounded and shapely.
The 140/160/240/260 shape has about this much curve to it; obviously the old Amazons have more. Now, the 7/9/8-series really are even more square, particularly the 740/760 sedan.
<img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4089/4973588634_7c24ea5cd7_b.jpg" width=600>
…or, if you're feeling perverse:
<img src="http://usabilityworks.org/wp-content/uploads/volvo164.jpg">
Thanks! Now my nightmares have even more fodder!
The plain, matt primer helps the car to look even more amorphous than it is.
Mind you, with no identifying characteristics (apart from the total lack of any characteristics) it could make a terrific getaway car.
If this represents the first fruits of a sudden interest in KV Mini 1 replicars, I apologise.
Plymouth Valiant for sale:
Did have some front end damage, but my old man is a television repairman who's got this ultimate set of tools, so I managed to fix it.
Believe it or not it can be boxier yes, bonus for who knows what this is.
<img src="http://images.thetruthaboutcars.com/2010/03/qu.-jpg-courtesy-IMCD.org_.jpg">
That would be one of them-there Unipower Quasars we hear so much about.
exactly
like a box
I've built LEGO cars that had more definition to the front end.
<img src="http://i847.photobucket.com/albums/ab40/ptschett/lego/DSC04244.jpg" width="500"/>
You know, there's probably someone North of the Arctic Circle thinking this would be just the thing, to let them enjoy both a classic car, and feeling in their extremities while driving.
This is the only suitable tool for those days, when you're so pissed off, that all you want to do is punch a hole in the air. A lot.
I suspect it's unfinished. He meant to cut holes for lights and cooling. But after finishing the nose he stood back and realized how bad it looked, and decided to sell.