R.A-S.H tends to concentrate on those cars that at least have some relevance, that some of us mere mortals can relate to in some way, or at least that most of us have seen at some point.

Every now and again, though, there comes the opportunity to discuss a vehicle so mind-blowing, so outrageous that it undeniably merits attention. Today, with great pleasure, I bring you the Borgarelli.

The very name, Borgarelli, or the “elli” bit at the end, at least, suggests everything exotic about the lithe multi-cylindered steeds from the North and Middle of Italy. The kind of machine you might expect to see scything its way around an Alpine pass, or arrowing along an autostrada, with a tanned, cultured playboy at the wheel.

“The very best of Italian motor design”

Those Italians are so smug, but you just know they can get away with it. Sixty years of machinery fit to grace bedroom walls the world over testify to that. And now with Borgarelli, a firm that not everybody knows but who promise to take all that rich heritage, and run with it.

“The unique Borgarelli body design is inspired by the sweeping lines of vintage sports cars”

Yeah, they don’t need to do anything new. As long as they exude that elegance, that effortlessness that has characterised the Italian car over the years. If a firm as unknown as Borgarelli can do even that with any degree of success, they’re half way there.

“…evoke the proud tradition of European motoring”

Well, this goes without saying. Very much pandering to the emotions, and what it is about cars from this part of the world so unique.

“…power, control and stability”

This is more like it. We’re getting closer to the crux of things, here. We’re starting to see more of the dynamic appeal of the machine, more of the stuff that gets pulses racing among People Like Us. Power, Control and Stability are the three complementary talents that turn a charismatic machine into a great one, and, of course, the Borgarelli is mid-engined. It’s only natural. It also carries a regenerative braking system. That’s Formula One shit right there.

“Comfortable, fully adjustable seats and clear, comprehensive dashboards add the finishing touches of luxury”

Seems an obvious thing to state, all such machines come lavishly equipped and it would be insane for a Borgarelli to be any different. Maybe it’s just the way certain European texts lose some of their incisiveness en route through translation?

“low profile alloy wheels and matching silver paintwork”

Silver? Just the one colourway? That’s kind of limited, but I like the idea of a firm that sticks rigidly to its principles. Silver it is. Worked OK for Mercedes….

“Super soft all round suspension for the easiest ride over the toughest of obstacles”

Super soft? That seems to completely go against everything we know about the state-of-the-art when it comes to European car design, oh, unless there’s something really clever going on in a hydropneumatic, active ride kind of way. But toughest of obstacles? Maybe the supercar vibe I registered was the wrong one? Maybe we’re talking more Maserati Levante? Maybe a pedigree machine that does it all; part racecar, part rock-crawler?

“Borgarelli isn’t just about looks. It delivers everything you’d expect from a high-end scooter. Each model offers superior battery life, effortless control and a smooth, easy ride.”

Yeah, so it might only do 8mph, but if I can genuinely get all the above from a mobility scooter, maybe old age is something to look forward to.

(Disclaimer: I’m really, really sorry, guys)