This week, apropos of nothing aside from certain documents sliding onto the floor in my line of sight, The Carchive has been focussing on those vehicles that residents of Japan were granted, but those of us living in the UK were denied; and the same may go for many other countries. If you live somewhere knee deep in Bongo Wagons and you’re sick to death of the things, then you might want to sit this one out. But if you’re miffed that it was never on the Mazda menu for you, bang the drum and read right on. The Bongo was, of course, otherwise known in Europe and other places as the E-Series panel van, a popular workhorse among carpet-fitters and any other tradesmen who need to carry long, thin loads from place to place. This particular brochure deals with the Bongo in its “Wagon” incarnation, where it took on a role more akin to a large lifestyle-orientated station wagon. Hence the name. Starting from the baseline BW model, whose van origins were plain for all to see, the range went north, through merely well equipped, right on to all possible bells and whistles. It’s these topmost “Limited” models that are, of course, the most interesting. At the very top of the range your Bongo Wagon could be imbued with air conditioning, electric windows, multiple sunroofs, curtains and alloy wheels. You could tick the box for a pretty serious stereo installation with what appears to be a variable-gain microphone input, presumably for Karaoke on the move. If all that singing wore you out, there was the option of flattening all three rows of seats to make a massive mattress filling the entire interior of the car. Using this facility would have meant the following:- A) A seat which is flat enough to make a good mattress probably makes a god awful chair, B) Once you’ve made the bed, all your possessions presumably have to go outside because there’s no trunk any more. The concept of filling your car up with bed has been around for ages, you could even do it with an Austin Maxi if you really wanted to, but at least this application made sense. Depending on the model variant, the Bongo Wagon could be made quite suitable for a family in search of adventure. A selectable four-wheel-drive system could be chosen, in conjunction with slightly raised suspension and all-season tyres, combining to give Bongo’s at least a modest off-road capability. Thus equipped, a journey to the forest needn’t end at the car park and gift shop; you could at least have a go at following the trail into the woods. 4WD also gave you a set of extremely natty body graphics down the side. Don’t expect to be getting anywhere all that quickly, though. The power choices were as per standard issue Bongo van, gas-fuelled with 82hp or diesel-driven with 58hp; 76 when turbocharged. Speed was never a priority; reliability and tractability scoring higher as must-haves. Of course, the Bongo Wagon would suffer from all the same limitations as any other van-with-windows. Irrespective how many gadgets are stuffed inside; how flexible the seating or powerful the stereo; even if the visual impression is one of luxury and cosseting, you’re still basically being carried around in the back of a van. The chances are it would still ride like a van (especially with the 4×4 package) and at the same speed. My Japanese comprehension is not enough to read whether Mazda did anything in pursuit of noise suppression or ride enhancement during the transition from carrying cargo or characters, but I can’t see any obvious suggestions of this in the photos. Nevertheless, despite their limitations, I still mourn that we never really had this kind of machine in the UK. There are examples of the Bongo and it’s brilliantly named Friendee offspring on British roads, along with Nissan Granvias and Mitsubishi Space Gears, but these will have been privately imported years ago and have passed through a number of owners hands by now. Surely there would be a market for this kind of thing over here , brand new? For those who enjoy the outside world and have a strong sense of adventure but still like to take the comforts of home with them. And, ideally, with a really silly name. (Disclaimer: All images are of original manufacturer publicity materials. I’m getting a new phone soon, so photography should get a bit better. Copyright remains property of Mazda. They are my Friendee.)