By Jeff Glucker
So today’s the day… when the Internet rises up, meets in Nevada, creates LULZ and memes, and is then promptly taken out by the US Military. It’s Storm Area 51 day!
Were you to lead an invasion of a top secret military base, which vehicle would you use? The easy choice is a Hummer H1. Especially since you can find those in surplus auctions. An Ariel Nomad would be a smart choice for speed, maneuverability, and go-anywhere running gear. Perhaps a boring work van might be smart, to remain in the background while the other Internet denizens are slapped out of existence.
Which vehicle would you use to storm Area 51?
Kamil Kaluski
Actually “storming” Area 51, or any military base, is a suicide mission no matter what you drive through the gates. Driving something that doesn’t appear to be a threat would give you the best chance of actually reaching the gate, though.
There is probably someone within the list of authorized personnel who drives an F150. Probably a white one, since it’s in the desert. Go with a white F150.
You still won’t get in, but the guards might not be on high alert until you actually reach the gate. When they stop you (and you should definitely stop) you can plausibly claim it’s a rental and you got lost, so they let you turn around and head home to tell all of your friends about that time you “stormed” Area 51.
Pretty sure these were on end of
seasonepoche sale once. Showing up in this, you’ll do what gamerz call “tanking” – so that other players can fullfill their mission relatively unbothered…https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4e/19-03-2012-Parade-rehearsal_-_Topol-M.jpg
Slots for five fire extinguishers with two missing sends a strong statement about reliability. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near that thing.
I would love to see a camper conversion though…
I see *six* fire extinguisher slots, and two of them are just smaller, not missing?
On closer inspection, you may be right. Two are small grey ones for some specialty purpose (Oxygen maybe?). Still and all… some body thought that 3-6 extinguishers were necessary, and I don’t want to be close enough to find out why.
The number-one lesson of asymmetric desert warfare: speed and agility will always win over heavy firepower. Think Chadians in their Toyota pickups versus Libyan tanks.
So take that to the rational end limit and add a can of dark tan spray paint.
https://ultimatemotorcycling.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/2018-Yamaha-WR250F-Review-dirt-bike-13.jpg
Lure the ETs away from the facility and you don’t have to drive as far.
https://barnfinds.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/1972-ford-big-cow-truck.jpg
Hey, that is based off a Tug Belt Loader. Powered by either a Ford 300 Six or Deutz Diesel. https://www.aerospecialties.com/aviation-ground-support-equipment-gse-products/aviation-baggage-cargo-service-equipment/belt-loaders/tug-technologies-660-27-wide-body-belt-loader/
I really like the idea of a heavy hovercraft. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ae66afee61cb8a5a0e6a5cd65ec4b90f8eee8586305fb47784e9fc24b64a3de0.jpg
You gotta go Ghurka! hahaha
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/33e12f7dcfe753368b904896eb368bee6054d22193fac1e62bddd2c4a08202dc.jpg
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/fictionalcompanies/images/a/a0/Lariat_XFiles.jpg
Mid-90’s domestic midsize sedan with a Lariat Rent-A-Car sticker. The truth is
outin there.I was going to say a beige Corolla, but yeah.
One that actually has a chance of getting in, Janet. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Janet_(airline) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4cb105ba4e2bec09656f4675d722430486ae2695ac482a9e69141ff954433730.jpg
Actually “storming” Area 51, or any military base, is a suicide mission no matter what you drive through the gates. Driving something that doesn’t appear to be a threat would give you the best chance of actually reaching the gate, though.
There is probably someone within the list of authorized personnel who drives an F150. Probably a white one, since it’s in the desert. Go with a white F150.
You still won’t get in, but the guards might not be on high alert until you actually reach the gate. When they stop you (and you should definitely stop) you can plausibly claim it’s a rental and you got lost, so they let you turn around and head home to tell all of your friends about that time you “stormed” Area 51.
It’s a secretive Government facility, so a black Tahoe or Suburban is the way to blend in! https://farm5.static.flickr.com/4009/4546635623_41f8d8212b_b.jpg https://images.hgmsites.net/hug/chevrolet-tahoe_100648645_h.jpg
Reminds me of the answer to the question “Would the radiation kill me if I stormed a nuclear waste facility?”
The security guard answered “Nope, the bullet wounds will get you well before the radiation does.”
Thunder 2 Cambli 4×4
https://www.armyrecognition.com/images/stories/north_america/canada/wheeled_vehicle/thunder_2/pictures/Thunder_2_4x4_tactical_armoured_truck_personnel_carrier_police_security_vehicle_Cambli_Canada_Canadian_defense_industry_002.jpg
“C’mon, it’s Czechoslovakia. We zip in, we pick ’em up, we zip right out again. We’re not going to Moscow. It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like we’re going into Wisconsin.”
All those RVs, and not a single EM-50?
https://scontent-frt3-2.cdninstagram.com/vp/07e04effb71d4999ec3a5e66f9b66d17/5DC2C11A/t51.2885-15/e35/65073192_453511232102462_1357845014424913134_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-frt3-2.cdninstagram.com
Beer truck.
Apparently a single city bus would have catered for the ‘crowd’…
Yeah, what happened? It all fizzled away?
Abducted along the way?
I saw a headline that 75 people turned up