The Park Bench Racing Team (PBRT) will be back in action this May at the The Real Hoopties of New Jersey race taking place at New Jersey Motorsports Park in Milli-Vanilli-ville, New Joyzee. Our continually evolving and always improving ’02 Buick Regal “race car” is the same it has always been, because it’s difficult to improve on perfection. We therefore expect the same perfect mediocre performance and promising but always somewhat disappointing, at least trophy-free, result. 
Our team captain is the awesome guy named Andy, who you’d know only if you ever met him. He’s got his shit together and really runs the team. Then there is Rafal, our fastest driver, who is very handy and quickly solves our constant problems, but best communicates with his hands and grunting noises. Then there is me, the guy who takes pictures and bribes the judges with food. A new addition to the team for this race is rookie George Kennedy who is an automotive journalist (Boston Globe, Boldride, Autoblog, US News, CarGurus, etc), which means he will probably be a shity driver and bound to make a visit or ten to the penalty box. 


At the last race in Thompson, CT, the mighty Buick overheated and blew a few gaskets. It was ridiculously hot and humid and we all kind of overheated. We Packed it in on Sunday morning. Yes, it would have been heroic to fix the car on Saturday night but instead we chose to go out to eat where the the waitresses wore skimpy outfits. 
We skipped the October race because we didn’t bother fixing the blown up car as everyone had something real-life-related going on. 

But now we are ready! Or ready-ish, at least. We dropped in a new old engine and got it running. It is modified with our hacked patented oil pan and not much else. We have concluded that the Buick’s factory original suspension should be refreshed. The struts have no rebound at all and the springs are pretty much collapsed. We will then attempt to improve brake cooling, modify the bench/wing for less drag, check the exhaust (parts of it fell off), weld up EGR tube (it’s leaking exhaust), and perform a general inspection. I don’t even think we need new tires or brake pads. 
See ya at NJMP! We usually camp out near the general store. Make sure to follow us on Facebook and like us on Twitter, too.