Presenting: The Greatest Paragraph in Motorsport History

I was looking up information on race tracks in North Carolina. Sometimes Wikipedia takes you on a journey, however, and that’s how I wound up finding the greatest paragraph in motorsport history. It’s about NASCAR racer Tim Flock, who drove for 13 years starting back in 1949. He finished 5th in NASCAR’s first race. Over the course of his career, Flock won 39 races and finished in the top ten 129 times. In 2014 he was entered into the NASCAR hall of fame and also given a nod as one of the 50 Greatest Drivers in the sport.
But that’s not what I’m talking about here. While searching Wikipedia for some information, I came across this paragraph:

Jocko Flocko, Tim Flock’s pet monkey, accompanied the racer in-car for the final time at the 1953 Grand National race. Somehow Jocko got loose from his seat harness and began exploring the race car. He found a string that lifted a trap door where the driver could check the condition of the right-front tire. As Jocko opened the door, a pebble flew up and struck him in the head. The monkey went berserk and Tim, who was leading the race at the time, had to pit to have the crazed primate removed from the car. Tim finished third as a result.

Tim Flock used to race with his pet monkey in the car. He would’ve won this particular race had his monkey not got hit in the head with a rock, after he got loose from his harness.
This is the greatest paragraph in motorsport history. There’s no chance of topping this one. So revel in the glory that is Tim Flock and his pet monkey Jocko Flocko.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

27 responses to “Presenting: The Greatest Paragraph in Motorsport History”

  1. Bret Avatar

    This story makes me happy on so many levels. My friends and I were the “Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys” LeMons team in a Peugeot 505 Turbo (fantastic car). Then we switched to racing a Hudson Hornet as “Chase Race, the Best Damned Garage in LeMons”. We kept a rubber monkey under the hood of the Hudson (The Peugeot had tons of them in and on it). Now that Hudson monkey has a name. He may even need to move to the right front wheel well.

    1. 0A5599 Avatar

      It is hard to win with a monkey on your back.

  2. memikeyounot Avatar

    I have 3 grandsons, all 9 years old and so far have only been successful in getting one of them to be sort of a car geek, like me. He loves the Cars movies and has several HotWheel style cars from that franchise. I gave him a 1/24 scale Hudson Hornet that just sits on a shelf, not to be played with which just about made him crazy but he’s over it now.
    Anyway, I’ll have to show him this paragraph. He probably would get the sad humor in it. As for me, I’ve always been scared of monkeys and I’m just glad I wasn’t there.

  3. P161911 Avatar

    This Dale Earnhardt quote is a close second: “If you’re not a race driver, stay the hell home. Don’t come here and grumble about going too fast. Get the hell out of the race car if you’ve got feathers on your legs or butt. Put a kerosene rag around your ankles so the ants won’t climb up and eat that candy ass.”

  4. Fred Avatar

    My cousin had a pet monkey. Worst pet of all time.

    1. P161911 Avatar

      Maybe monkeys are like chimps. What little bit I have read about chimpanzees is that all the ones you see on TV and in the movies are pre-pubescent, when they are cute. Once they hit puberty and older, they get horny, mean, and will literally try to eat your face.

  5. Zentropy Avatar

    What. The. Hell?

  6. Alff Avatar

    Jocko’s descendent went on to have a popular restoration business and reality show empire.

    1. Zentropy Avatar

      And he surprisingly won a campaign for presidency of an influential country in 2016.

      1. Victor Avatar

        This is not the place for politics , you loser .

        1. Zentropy Avatar

          Sorry, I didn’t realize there were many thin-skinned Bulgarians on this site. Thought it was innocuous enough to be humorous.

          1. 0A5599 Avatar

            Roseann Barr proved that human-simian humorous attempts at comparison can be a career killer.

          2. Zentropy Avatar

            Roseanne Barr ruined her career by simply opening her mouth.
            I honestly thought twice before typing it, but influential substances may have skewed my judgement. (Which is why I sometimes stay off of eBay Motors.)

    2. I_Borgward Avatar

      And now, my keyboard is covered with coffee. (cackle!)

  7. I_Borgward Avatar

    Many years ago, I transported my pet iguana, Wen, on a cross-country trip (long story). It was summer, and he picked a spot on the dashboard of my Econoline to sun himself. Fun and double takes the whole trip!
    “Is he real?”
    “So, Wen, are you real?”
    (bobs head)
    He also liked to perch on the armrest of the passenger seat, where he could look out the side window. Kids most especially liked seeing that when I’d pass.

  8. Lokki Avatar

    My favorite racing story is Craig Breedlove after his 1964 Bonneville Land Speed Record return run went disastrously wrong. He’d completed the run at over 500 mph and then: his parachute fell off the back of the rocket car, unopened. With no way to slow down, the car continued for three miles until, out of control, it hit two telephone poles, jumped a four-foot dike, went airborne, and landed nose down in a lake.
    The rescue crew raced as fast as they could down the track, expecting the worst, only to find Breedlove out of the car, unhurt, sitting on the shore of the lake. When they came up to him, he was laughing hysterically:
    “USAC Official: He’s on his way… he’s standing on it… they say he’s really standing on it now… nice and straight… he’s really rolling… into the mile…
    VOICE: I see a smoke trail.
    USAC: … something fell off of the car… that must be the chute… wait a minute, something fell off of the back of the car… he lost his chute…
    VOICE: I hope it was his chute…
    USAC: … he lost his chute…
    VOICE: Before he hit the trap or after?
    USAC: He didn’t say it’s out … I see him coming… he’s really coming along, he’s really pouring it on… here he comes…
    VOICE: … heads up….
    USAC: He’s approaching the finishing line … he’s past the finishing line…
    VOICE: … he’s got no chute… (pppphhhhhweeeeeeeeWHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHH…..)
    VOICE: … OOHH!!!
    (trucks and support vehicles roll, horns honk, general commotion
    as reporters dictate to machines)
    VOICE: … what a thrill for the people…
    VOICE: He’s in the water…
    USAC: He’s in the water…
    VOICE: He’s in the water…
    USAC: Better roll the ambulance down here… roll the ambulance… I’ll roll down there… okay… I’ll roll …
    (tape rolls out)
    BREEDLOVE: (deep breaths and laughter) Unnnhhhh, hunnhhh…
    VOICE: Suppose you’ll get a water speed record on that too?
    BREEDLOVE: I think so.
    VOICE: Who do you think you are? Cobb or somebody?
    BREEDLOVE: What a ride! Uhh hnnnuhhh… “FOR MY NEXT TRICK!”
    (more laughter)
    BREEDLOVE: “I’ll set myself… on fire… “

  9. Victor Avatar

    Who among us has not had a crazed monkey along for the ride ?

    1. Zentropy Avatar

      I’m the father of three.

  10. outback_ute Avatar

    Truth is stranger than fiction…

  11. neight428 Avatar

    Imagine feeling pretty good about your top-5 finish and then finding out that the guy ahead of you was attacked by a monkey mid-race.

  12. outback_ute Avatar

    I wonder if this ‘team’ inspired all those monkey-buddy movies?

    1. neight428 Avatar

      If so, the legacy of this event would be difficult to understate.

  13. neight428 Avatar

    There are some obscure car nerds in the bowels of Pixar, btw. I didn’t notice this when I watched it, but check out Mack’s “disguise” when Lightning was in the figure 8/demo derby dirt track race in Cars 2:

    In Cars 3, Mack puts “Jocko Flocko” on the side of his truck. Jocko Flock was a monkey used as a marketing stunt in auto racing in the 50s. He drove in Tim Flock’s Fabulous Hudson Hornet.
    byu/snowthunder2018 inMovieDetails

  14. Leonie Ratakowski Avatar
    Leonie Ratakowski

    This is a very unusual and interesting topic! If I were you, I would present it in the form of a presentation and promote it further! This is really very convenient and increases the chances of success! I also want to note that it is very important to receive feedback from the presentation in order to discuss the topic in depth. You can read more here I’m sure you will find a lot of useful

    1. Leonie Avatar

      This is a very unusual and interesting topic! If I were you, I would present it in the form of a presentation and promote it further! This is really very convenient and increases the chances of success! I also want to note that it is very important to receive feedback from the presentation in order to discuss the topic in depth. You can read more here I’m sure you will find a lot of useful