Look How Good A Driver I Am!

q3_rear_indicator_seq
Increasingly often I find myself sitting in traffic transfixed by the mesmerising sequence you see in the image above. Yes, for a little while now, and obviously drawing inspiration from Ford products of the 1960’s, Audi have been fitting certain models with sequential tail indicator lamps. This, in itself, isn’t anything new. What is worth commenting on, though, is how often I notice them.
Of course, once you notice something for the first time you’ll keep on noticing it. Sequential indicators are more interesting than regular ones so they’re more likely to register in your memory bank when you see them. But here’s the thing- every time I’ve ever seen an Audi showing its sequential indicators, it means that the driver actually had the presence of mind to activate them. Around here, Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz drivers can all stereotypically be relied on to keep traffic guessing on roundabouts by not bothering with the blinkers. Could it be that Audi drivers have only just started using their indicators because they’re keen to show off how funky they are?
Probably not. But if this is the case, is this the first time responsible and considerate driving ever became cool?

procon 10
It was Audi, too, who boasted about their “Procon 10” cable linked impact protection system with full-width stickers on rear windscreens up to ’94. It wasn’t unusual, either, to see safety features such as ABS listed on trunklids in silver letters. But passive safety and “last resort” driver assistance aids can’t don’t have much visual clout.
So, other than indicators which shout out “Hey, check me out, I’m indicating!” are there any other things that could show other road users just how great a driver we are? How about a “Seatbelts on” light on the outside of the car? Perhaps tyres which go bright red when the tread wears to unsafe levels?
So, if you were a car company, how could you make your drivers stand out as the best on the road?
(Lede image GIF animation by team-bhp.com, second image by Gabriel Caldwell)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The maximum upload file size: 64 MB. You can upload: image, audio, video. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop files here

  1. longrooffan Avatar
    longrooffan

    If it were possible to have one that warned of driver texting or on a cell phone, or otherwise distracted, that would be a good thing. Also, is the use of turn indicators on round a bouts a thing? I thought I am the only one who does that.

    1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

      Definitely a thing, or certainly ought to be. I curse every time I wait at the entry trying to second guess whether the guy approaching on the roundabout intends to go across my bow or turn off before he reaches me. If every car signals its intent we can all coexist in harmony.

  2. duurtlang Avatar
    duurtlang

    With a fart can you can make your shitbox sound like a rally car. Pre-installing one is the perfect way for a company to attract sophisticated adult rally lovers.
    https://nicholaszahra.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/fart-can.jpg

  3. Van_Sarockin Avatar
    Van_Sarockin

    I recall a story in an ancient Automobile Quarterly about Prince Charles (UK) buying a boutique sports car from Ogee (or something like that…) which had the full rear of the car studded with lights – which would light up sequentially, depending on the level of braking force being applied. I’ve always thought that was rather genius.

    1. The Real Number_Six Avatar
      The Real Number_Six

      That would be the Aston Martin Ogle. If some people thought the Zagato Astons were a mistake, get a load of this. It’s awesome.
      https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-a6PPTeqa6e4/UKD1FPn5IdI/AAAAAAAADVA/trw5nxyDnR4/s1600/2202918917_762184d802_o.jpg
      http://astonmartins.com/wp-content/gallery/dbsv8-ogle-sotherby-special/image_3.jpg

      1. PowerTryp Avatar
        PowerTryp

        It wouldn’t be that hard to fix that design for the current market. the side and front look great but that rear screams Decotora to me.

    1. dead_elvis Avatar
      dead_elvis

      Standard equipment in your fleet?

      1. mdharrell Avatar

        I’d own several, including one wired directly to the main power circuit of the race car, if only they didn’t tend to go for so much money.

        1. dead_elvis Avatar
          dead_elvis

          Would have been quite appropriate in my Bus.

    2. Vairship Avatar
      Vairship

      Perhaps you need Wanky The Safety Cat? https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/18s04syf95rewjpg.jpg

  4. BigRedCaveTroll Avatar
    BigRedCaveTroll

    Maybe the salesperson at the Audi dealership showed the indicators to the Audi driver and that was the first time they had ever heard of a turn signal. Then they asked what it was used for, and now they use it because previously they didn’t even know it existed. (non-fact: Half of all Audi dealership work is for “some light blinking on the dash,” which the owner thought was a check engine light, but was actually just a turn signal turned on.)

  5. KMNTR Avatar
    KMNTR

    http://nedbatchelder.com/pix/toyota-pod.gif
    If only the car could actually sense the driver’s emotions or what state he/she is in and then display the information! For example, the red angry-headlight look could mean “my driver is a ticking road-rage bomb” or changing colours and headlight eyes looking downward could indicate “my driver is texting”.

    1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

      One of my favourite Gran Turismo cars ever.

    2. Sjalabais Avatar
      Sjalabais

      The Police Union supports your proposal of total insight.

      1. KMNTR Avatar
        KMNTR

        Right! Cops would love it! Never mind license-plate scanning; just have the whole car display the driver’s record:-)

  6. Jaap Avatar
    Jaap

    It won’t improve driverstyles but I would offer a giant external clock as a standard feature. Just because nobody else does it.

  7. Sjalabais Avatar
    Sjalabais

    Showing off driver skills – I’ve been thinking about a visible gear indicator. Applying the engine brake downhill doesn’t result in the brake lights being lit (as opposed to the retarder’s work in a commercial truck). I often have people come pretty close before they realize I’m in low gear. Not sure a visible indicator would do any help though.

    1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

      Good thought. I sometimes wonder if brake lights should be graduated depending on the severity of deceleration (the Triplex car posted by #6 above did this, displaying up to six brake lights if Full Retard was engaged).
      But, as you mention, perhaps there should be a “slowing down” light rather than just a brake light.

      1. Cool_Cadillac_Cat Avatar
        Cool_Cadillac_Cat

        In the late-70s, there was a dual-filament amber extra lamp which could be put on the rear of a motorcycle which flashed at an increasing rate as more force was exerted on the brake lever (it must have been the hand lever, not the foot pedal, but it’s been a long time).
        It’s referenced in a few places, but there aren’t many still around.
        http://nc700-forum.com/forum/nc700-mods/2715-vololights-2.html
        It’s a genius idea, though it also assumes people both pay attention and are smart enough to extrapolate the amount of braking from the flash rate.
        This is too difficult for at least 75% of the populus.

    2. Preludacris Avatar

      I sometimes just tap the brake if I can tell the person behind me isn’t noticing the engine braking. If I’m in a bad mood that day I might just let them get nice and close, then downshift another gear. People need to pay attention when driving… not just wait for the brake lights.

  8. Krautwursten Avatar
    Krautwursten

    How about headlights that become angrier the faster you go so others can more easily judge your speed as you approach in their rear view mirror? Very important on the Autobahn!
    Edit: On further thought you could even combine this with changing aerodynamics.

  9. KMNTR Avatar
    KMNTR

    Forget about non-driving in an autonomous vehicle. Turn the Mercedes F 015 inside out and have screens on the outside. Boastfully display such information as your car insurance rating or maybe even have real-time video of you skillfully choreographing the tasks of driving:-)