Hooniverse Modern Art Monday – A BMW CSi on eBay

Welcome to another Modern Art Monday feature here on Hooniverse. I have a very strong opinion about most BMW owners, and if I offend any owners of these cars, I can’t say that I’m sorry. Most of the BMW owners I have met (especially the “M” versions) are pricks. There I said it…. and with good reason. For the most part, the drivers of “The Ultimate Driving Machine” are rude, somewhat reckless, fashionistas. God forbid you are in the passing lane (overtaking other cars I might add) when they come right up to your rear bumper flashing their high beams for you to pull over. I’m overtaking other vehicles a$$hole…. Anyway, the current owner of this very beautiful BMW CSI is a member of the prick society, based on the tone of the ad, and his answers to the questions asked by potential bidders. And that is what art really is, a dichotomy of emotions… Beauty and a beast (of an owner).

This is a 1973 BMW 3.0 CSi that has been upgraded (and I use that term loosely) to a 3.5L inline six losing any intrinsic value the car may have retained. The car has been repainted in a beautiful shade of blue that is not original to the car. The interior has been updated with new upholstery and a new sound system, as well as modifying the suspension system. The car looks fantastic.

However, this BMW is being advertised as having only 3,500 miles. The owner did confess that the chassis has 89,000 miles, but the new engine has 3,500 miles. Also, the listing goes on to state: “ONLY SERIOUS BUYERS!!! HUNTERS DON’T BOTHER! I WILL JUST STORE CAR LONG-TERM INSTEAD OF LOW BALL OFFERS”. The Question and Answer section is a real eye opener… the sellers answers are not only condescending, they are outright rude. He is also selling the car because he’s leaving the country. What a perfect BMW owner.

The bidding is up to $41,000 with an unmet reserve, which I think is way overpriced. Yes, this is a beautiful BMW, there is no denying that. Why does this beauty have to be owned by such a beast? See the eBay listing here.

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24 responses to “Hooniverse Modern Art Monday – A BMW CSi on eBay”

  1. BGW Avatar

    "I am only selling Couple due to relocating outside of the USA."
    Hey, didn't this guy just email Dearthair about a TDI Toureg?

  2. OA5599 Avatar

    Positive feedback: 0% | Feedback score: 0

  3. M600 Avatar

    In my experience the Audi drivers are the real prats on the road, which is where your attitude matters more to your fellow man. And in this jerk's partial defense, there are an awful lot of tire kickers and punters riding the inter2bz aksing questions with no intention of bidding. They are a tiresome lot in their own right.

  4. Jennings R. Scroggs, Jr. Avatar
    Jennings R. Scroggs, Jr.

    $41k for a very nice, but decidedly non-original, E9 CSi?
    I don't think so.

  5. muthalovin Avatar

    I like the color, and have always like the CSi bodystyle, but that is way, way too much. Seriously, an unoriginal motor, and almost 90k on the chassis? No way, bro. Let it rot in storage.

    1. acarr260 Avatar

      Plus, it's been repainted, and not in the original color. CP.

      1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
        mr. mzs zsm msz esq

        I never understood this point of view. I could understand something ugly like a pink or a respray over rust bubbles lowering value, but if done well and in a nice color (this blue looks great here) why should it decrease the value?

        1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          mr. mzs zsm msz esq

          I guess I just can't think like a collector then. It's all about, "Is it pretty?" to me.

          1. Mr_Biggles Avatar

            I'm with you. It's a good looking colour, regardless of originality. And a low mileage, non-original engine tells me I should be able to drive it harder, no?. Value goes up…

  6. xomputer Avatar

    Oh, you want to buy this car i'm selling? Better show up with 80k! Cash… and some kneepads.

  7. tonyola Avatar

    This seller sounds like a dick. Here's a clean-looking original 3.0CS with admittedly more miles for $21K. http://www.hemmings.com/classifieds/carsforsale/b

  8. BigFatgeek Avatar

    Heh, I spotted this car in Solana Beach, CA back in January.
    Here's what it looks like in my version of Down On The Street:
    A beautiful car…

  9. Gearhead Avatar

    Interested people are sending phone numbers and he won't talk to them? Yeah, nice way to do business.
    These are the kind of people that get their car keyed for parking diagonally across the handicap space in front of the store. Can't say I have any sympathy.

  10. Tim Odell Avatar
    Tim Odell

    I'm no originality snob, in fact I'm the opposite. Why? Because non-original cars are cheaper and more fun. Let someone else play the preservation game.
    The problem here is just that. An all-original, great-shape CSI is easily a $50k car that I can't afford.
    I'd consider building a car like this (though a bit more tastefully), and I'd consider it more of a $15-25k kind of ride.

  11. facelvega Avatar

    They're not suckers exactly, they just bid before he admitted in the questions that it wasn't really a 3,500 mile car and had been repainted. Of course they did bid on a half-described high-price listing from someone with no feedback, so they're not exactly not suckers either.

  12. PFG Avatar

    I've been called many things, but never a "fashionista."

  13. facelvega Avatar

    Meh. There are at least a hundred cars I'd rather have for $40k. Even at the $20k it's worth, I'd rather just get a slightly uglier but otherwise comparable 633 or 635csi for $6-8k and save the rest for rarer, less douchey cars.

  14. Abe Avatar

    Drop in an e-rod LSA and live happily ever after knowing you have way more horsepower than you could ever get out of the factory mill and that the smog police can't touch you. http://www.gmperformanceparts.com/erod/

    1. rovingardener Avatar

      This is solid, heretical advice.

  15. rovingardener Avatar

    I saw one of these in perfect ORIGINAL shape that had been rally used and restored that was in the BMW museum in Spartanburg; not likely I would pay anything like 41 large for this. I would consider paying up to 25k, and no more.

    1. facelvega Avatar

      but if we were going to play the recent game, $25k would mean we'd have to put it up against a new GTI, while $41k would at least let us put it up against a 135i, maybe a 1M if the bidding goes up a bit more. I think we'd all take it over the GTI, but I bet some of the new car guys around here would have a harder time choosing a CS over a 1M.

  16. facelvega Avatar

    I could live with stock performance personally, as I'd be interested in using it more as a GT car. Anyway, the 3.0cs are getting too valuable to stroke/play with them anymore, too much for me anyway. If I wanted a speed demon BMW, I'd get an E36 M3 now while they're cheap and still relatively plentiful.

  17. facelvega Avatar

    Wow, I guess the seller found out about this post, as somebody has gone through and given negative points to every critical post in the thread. Sounds like we nailed our character judgement after all!