Hooniverse Asks: Do you have any automotive conspiracy theories?

Jeff Glucker

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I’m driving a Jeep Gladiator this week. It’s painted in a gorgeous shade of red, and it’s the mighty Rubicon trim. This one even features a bit of dying technology. Planted in the center tunnel is a manual gearbox. I was excited to receive a Gladiator with such a setup. But after a few days, I’m not quite as in love as I expected. And it’s because of that transmission. Well, more specifically, it’s really because of the clutch.

There’s no feel. It’s very light, which would be nice in daily-driver grade traffic. But it’s hard to tell what’s going on with my left foot. I’d like more of a sense of connection if I’m opting for the powertrain setup that appeals to such a sense.

I read a good tweet about why this might be the case though:

https://twitter.com/rogergarbow/status/1144021979596566528

I find myself nodding along in agreement with that tweet. Having driven a JL Wrangler with the automatic, I left impressed by the entire package. And now I’m daydreaming of a Gladiator with the automatic. I can literally see a bit more joy on my face. I know this goes against the Car Person Code that is “Give me a manual, or give me death…”, but right now I’d honestly rather have the automatic version.

Is this a proper conspiracy theory? I think it is, and it’s a good one.

But what other automotive conspiracy theories do you hold? Sound off below!

About

Jeff Glucker

Jeff Glucker

Jeff Glucker is the co-founder and Executive Editor of Hooniverse.com. He’s often seen getting passed as he hustles a 1991 Mitsubishi Montero up the 405 Freeway. IG: @HooniverseJeff

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36 responses to “Hooniverse Asks: Do you have any automotive conspiracy theories?”

  1. GTXcellent Avatar
    GTXcellent

    The ultra-light clutch does take some getting used to, but I still love it (it’s really, really noticeable when I jump in the MiSSus’s car with a really stiff clutch)

    Reply
    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      I think it’s most notable for me coming from me Montero. It’s not that it has a massively stiff clutch, but that I can feel what’s going on.

      Reply
      1. nanoop Avatar
        nanoop

        Marc Cohen had a song about a mediocre clutch:
        There was a time you let me know
        What’s really going on below
        but now you never show it to me, do you?

        Reply
  2. Maymar Avatar
    Maymar

    I just wonder if the light clutch is an attempt to shuffle it off, or if it’s just a tacit admission that yes, the person who buys one of these new needs to find it appealing as a daily driver, and whether the second owner wants changes or not will be left up to the aftermarket in time.

    Reply
    1. Zentropy Avatar
      Zentropy

      Unless buyers have been driving manuals for decades, they might not know what a communicative clutch even feels like, or might find a stiffer one unappealing. I’ve had people say they can’t even drive my ’66 Mercury because of the clutch, which is both immensely stiff and has very good feel.

      Reply
    2. Sjalabais Avatar
      Sjalabais

      The offroading pedigree suggests though that drivers may want to know exactly when those wheels come online. I’ve only ever driven one car with a numb clutch (and numb steering), one of those C-series Citroëns. That rental was so bad, it gave me actual nightmares for weeks, dreaming of numb-steering into oncoming traffic. If that is any sort of engineering achievement, I say those engineers must be discarded politicians.

      Reply
      1. Maymar Avatar
        Maymar

        Keep in mind, Jeep was already selling something like 250k Wranglers per year. I’m not sure you sell that many of anything to a hardcore enthusiast group. There’s plenty of them in my urban area as well, that’s hundreds of miles from any real offroading (say, something you couldn’t do with a typical Subaru). Typical driver seems to be somewhere between the bro-y types who might drive a lifted truck if they lived somewhere more rural (or just like doing the summertime drive with one leg perched on the running board, which I get), and moderately affluent late-30/early-40 somethings who want something special without buying a status symbol.

        The offroad pedigree probably just helps jack up the resale value.

        Reply
  3. Zentropy Avatar
    Zentropy

    It’s disappointing to hear that the clutch is so light that it’s bereft of feel, because I’m interested in just such a truck (except likely not a Rubicon).

    Sometimes clutches feel better once they’re broken-in after a few thousand miles. Does the pedal have an assist spring? If so, you might be able to remove that– it could be numbing the feel. Otherwise, the only simple thing you might do is go with a better-grade fluid (one with less compressibility) and upgrade to SS braided lines with less restrictive fittings. Upgrading the clutch and pressure plate might not improve feel, but just make engagement more like an on/off switch.

    Reply
    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      Good questions to which I don’t know the answer. I do know the ZF 8spd is a good match for this engine though…
      I’m curious about the manual paired with the diesel. That torque might be nice down low so you can worry less about the clutch grab point and let the engine do the work.

      Reply
  4. Hatchtopia Avatar
    Hatchtopia

    Ford is killing off cars because… well crap I can’t even come up with a semi-plausible conspiracy for that.

    Reply
    1. mdharrell Avatar
      mdharrell

      The only explanation that makes sense is that Ford knows it can’t remain competitive with EVs unless it switches to a Meyer water splitter to make Aquygen to feed past a magnetic fuel conditioner into a Pogue carburetion system, but they don’t dare try putting this into production because that’s precisely why the Reptilians forced GM into bankruptcy. Well, that’s one reason they did it, anyway. The other is that they never completely forgave GM for getting rid of streetcars.

      Reply
      1. Rover 1 Avatar
        Rover 1

        You win. But how did the Dale fit in?
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q050avuNaA

        Reply
    2. Lokki Avatar
      Lokki

      Well, seriously folks…. Ford is making a F-ing F350 load of moola selling pickups trucks in the U.S. and thus has lost Focus on the U.S. small car (or even any car) market. Besides, they can’t really compete on price with the Koreans unless they build there and that means dealing with the (No Thanks!!) Korean unions and government, and they can’t compete with the Japanese on quality because they have to deal with the (No Thanks!!) UAW here in the states. Lack of cache keeps them out of any realistic participation in the luxury car market. So, speaking generally of the U.S. car market, there just isn’t enough money in it to be worth the hassle. Better to cut their losses by shutting it down, and accumulate capital for future projects from their booming truck sales.

      Then in Europe, the EU has effectively killed the small gasoline or diesel powered car through regulation. Electric is the only way forward. Whether that capturing a share of that emerging electric market is possible against the Chinese, Japanese, and Ford’s other European competitors is even possible remains to be seen. In any case, the current Ford-Europe infrastructure will be essentially valueless in building marketable electric cars. The construction machinery, materials, techniques and workforce skills are all very different when manufacturing electrics. So best again, to cut losses and get out of a declining market; let others fight over what’s left of the IC car market and let others struggle through the perils of an emerging design period. Once the desirable market criteria sort themselves out, build a new plant making a new design based on the hard-earned lessons of others. Ford has enough historic name recognition that finding dealers or buyers won’t be a hurdle if they do decide to come back to Europe.

      Besides, Ford can keep their hand in car design by letting their Chinese engineers try things. That’s the only place where Ford still has a chance to make money in the IC (or any car) market.

      Reply
  5. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Best automotive conspiracy theory that I have heard is that Colin Chapman faked his own death to avoid getting caught up in the Delorean scandal. Part of the theory is that he deposited F1 winnings in accounts in each race city.

    Reply
  6. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    *Puts on Reynolds Wrap beanie*

    Most automakers selling station wagons here in the U.S. colluded to equip those wagons with undesirable powertrains and/or option packages and not offer the same alternate choices as the sedan versions (e.g. different engines, 2WD, manual transmissions). Then, after a couple years of sales way short of their already modest projections, the OEM in question quits selling the wagon here and says “Well gosh darn it, it looks like American buyers really don’t want wagons anymore…so here’s our new and, by pure coincidence, we swear, way more profitable crossover!”

    Reply
  7. Bj Ruland Avatar
    Bj Ruland

    Yes, from the beginning of the muscle car era, GM, Ford and Chrysler exec’s would head to the golf course, sit at the country club and come up with next years numbers. “Ok gents, Mustang, Cuda, Camaro. Someone get’s fastest quarter mile, also, we need to discuss HP numbers and cubic inches. We need these to be really close guys, or someone is going to be let behind.”

    Chrysler exec “Well, we really want to make sure nobody tops our 440 in displacement.”

    Ford exec “Fine, you can keep that, but don’t be mad if we slap Shelby on something.”

    GM exec “Ok, I’m fine with a across the board 1/4 mile times being really close”
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .AMC exec “Guys! Guys!, let me play too!!!”

    Reply
  8. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    *Puts on Reynolds Wrap beanie*

    Most automakers selling station wagons here in the U.S. colluded to equip those wagons with undesirable powertrains and/or option packages and not offer the same alternate choices as the sedan versions (e.g. different engines, 2WD, manual transmissions). Then, after a couple years of sales way short of their already modest projections, the OEM in question quits selling the wagon here and says “Well gosh darn it, it looks like American buyers really don’t want wagons anymore…so here’s our new and, by pure coincidence, we swear, way more profitable crossover!”

    Reply
  9. neight428 Avatar
    neight428

    Most models look disproportionately styled on anything but the top trim level sized wheels that are almost always exclusive to that trim level or a very expensive package. Making a car look bad unless you shell out top dollar might not be a conspiracy, but it’s crappy.

    Late model pickups only look right with the largest wheels/tires and 4wd ride height, while the proletariat trim trucks run tiny skinny things to help the fuel economy stats.

    Reply
    1. neight428 Avatar
      neight428

      Replying to myself to add, the Wrangler and especially the Gladiator are probably the worst offenders in this regard. You never see a clear photo of a base model in marketing materials, even on the website, they stick them in the back of the group shot partially obscured and/or turn the wheels and angle the shot to obscure the skinny section width, goofy offset and giant gap with the fender.

      Reply
  10. crank_case Avatar
    crank_case

    The PT cruiser was imported to the UK as revenge for the Austin A90 Atlantic

    Google/Apple/*insert tech company here* interest in self driving tech isn’t motivated by safety or reducing congestion but giving people more time to look at screens, gathering even more data on your personal habits and subtly influencing your behaviour via route choice.

    Reply
  11. nanoop Avatar
    nanoop

    My conspiracy theory: the part suppliers hold an even tighter oligopoly than the car manufacturers. Both part and car manufacturers meet regularly and agree on pricing. Oh, that’s not a theory? I don’t have enough criminal imagination…

    Reply
  12. 49AZ Avatar
    49AZ

    Merica vs. Rest of the World regarding vehicle towing specs. Apparently the laws of physics differ from continent to continent. Exact same models tow way less/not allowed to here in the states as compared to other countries. It’s a transparent and cynical exercise in steering (ha!) American consumer towards larger, higher profit margin vehicles.

    Reply
    1. Kernel Panik Avatar
      Kernel Panik

      The amount of mass a vehicle can tow is limited by how much weight you can put on its rear axle. In Europe, they “cheat” a little bit by allowing trailers to have a more rearward weight bias, putting more weight on the trailer’s wheels and less on the car towing it. This allows more cars to to trailers, but at the cost of yaw stability at highway speeds (see https://youtu.be/4jk9H5AB4lM). America also has stricter rules on what constitutes appropriate brakes for towing. This is why USA’s roads aren’t as clogged with caravaners driving slowly; the way trailers are balanced there makes sure they can actually haul.

      Reply
      1. 49AZ Avatar
        49AZ

        I’ve seen that incredibly instructive video before. Awesome. My jealousy of European towing is always reignited every summer when I’m over there behind a car/caravan combo doing a perfectly adequate job towing slowly. Not screaming down the motorway doing 80 mph in a bro truck pulling 10000 lb 5th wheel.

        Reply
      2. nanoop Avatar
        nanoop

        Interesting interpretation. I don’t know too much about this, but the maximum vertical load is typically between 50 and 100 kg for a small sedan or Golf, which looks reasonable: a regular person standing on the hitch (10cm behind the bumper) compresses the suspension quite visibly. Minimum of a given configuration is 4% of the horizontal load, and this is usually the limit of a braking tow load: example the theoretical max horizontal load for 50kg vertical would be 1250kg. In addition, the maximum weight of the entirerrig must not exceed a percentage of the towing car’s max weight (I forgot, something like 150%?)
        For trailers without own brakes, other rules apply that result in much lower towing rates.

        Reply
        1. Eric Rucker Avatar
          Eric Rucker

          In the US, the normal guidance for weight distribution onto the tongue is 10-15%, not the (IIRC) 4-7% norm for Europe. That limits towing capacity by a lot.

          Basically what I do to calculate a tow rating for a car that isn’t rated to tow in the US is, I look at the European towbar vertical load rating, divide that by .15, and that’s what I’d feel comfortable towing in the US with that car. So, with a 75 kg towbar rating, that’s 500 kg trailer weight, or 1102 lbs. (Which, the few cars that do get tow ratings in the US are usually rated for 1000 lbs nowadays…)

          Reply
          1. nanoop Avatar
            nanoop

            4% is the minimum, right, which is a substantial difference from 10% for a given car indeed.
            Just to understand, we are both talking about trailers with their own set of driving/service brakes, right?

          2. nanoop Avatar
            nanoop

            4% is the minimum, right, which is a substantial difference from 10% for a given car indeed.
            Just to understand, we are both talking about trailers with their own set of driving/service brakes, right?

          3. Eric Rucker Avatar
            Eric Rucker

            This is independent of brakes. (That said, my understanding was that brakes were mandatory above 750 kg in Europe? In the US, it’s 3000 lbs (1361 kg) at which brakes are required.)

            Additionally, in the US, surge brakes are not at all popular, with electric brakes being far more common. (Full-size pickup trucks now often have an electric brake controller as part of the towing package, mid-sizes or SUVs you usually have to go aftermarket, and anything smaller isn’t allowed to tow enough where brakes would be required by US law.)

          4. Eric Rucker Avatar
            Eric Rucker

            This is independent of brakes. (That said, my understanding was that brakes were mandatory above 750 kg in Europe? In the US, it’s 3000 lbs (1361 kg) at which brakes are required.)

            Additionally, in the US, surge brakes are not at all popular, with electric brakes being far more common. (Full-size pickup trucks now often have an electric brake controller as part of the towing package, mid-sizes or SUVs you usually have to go aftermarket, and anything smaller isn’t allowed to tow enough where brakes would be required by US law.)

          5. nanoop Avatar
            nanoop

            Max. 750kg without surge brakes, correct, unless the towing vehicle is too flimsy even for that – but the ratings are stated clearly in the title etc. (I stated the percentage wrongly, btw., regular cars can tow their own max weight at most)

            Ah, the little differences…

            For heavy rigs (3.5t and above) Europe is prescribing pressurised air with buffer for the brakes. Never heard of electric brakes before but I can imagine that the benefits will find their way into the pile of cards called laws.

            We didn’t discuss speed limits yet, here what I remember for highways:
            No surge brake: 60kph
            Regular trailer w/brakes: 80kph
            Fulfilling a slew of regulations and conditions w/brakes: 100 kph

            Kind of reminds me of the vehicle illumination laws: they are all with good intentions and mostly reasonable, but incompatible.

          6. Eric Rucker Avatar
            Eric Rucker

            Yeah, whereas in the US, there’s a few states where vehicles with trailer are supposed to go 55 MPH (so like 89ish km/h), but most states allow everyone to go the speed limit, which could be as fast as 80 MPH (so like 129ish km/h).

          7. nanoop Avatar
            nanoop

            That’s probably the explanation right there: allowing 30-50% higher speeds with only 4% vertical load are probably not safe under many regular circumstances (bumpy road, side gusts, some related user error).

          8. Eric Rucker Avatar
            Eric Rucker

            Another thing affecting tow ratings for cars in the US, as well, is warranty considerations.

            It feels like in Europe, automakers tend to type-rate for towing if it can be done. In the US, they’ll only do it if it doesn’t increase warranty expenses.

          9. P161911 Avatar
            P161911

            The trailer laws vary by state too. I know that several years ago Georgia law changed to any trailer with more than one axle had to have brakes. There might be something based on weight too. Older trailers were grandfathered in. My dad’s pontoon boat trailer has two axles and no brakes, but oddly 10″ diameter wheels that are about 8″ wide.

      3. Troggy Avatar
        Troggy

        In Australia, if the trailer is rated for over 750kg it needs brakes of some sort. Trailers over 2,000kg it needs a break free device that applies the trailer/caravan brakes if it becomes separated from the towing vehicle.
        When it comes to towball downforce, most caravans made for Australia these days apply 10% of its overall mass down on the towball, thus, a 1,000kg trailer will have a towball downforce of about 100kg. That figure is steadily increasing to as high as 15% for some caravans and camper trailers. This, I would imagine, might be a problem for car manufacturers who have to allow for ever increasing towball downforces in order to achieve the full potential of their rated towing capacity.

        I ran into trouble with our Subaru Outback. It can legally tow about 1,350kg, but after 3 return trips to Sydney (each trip 2,000km return) towing a 1,200kg camper, I found that the Sooby is rated for a towball downforce of only 91kg, meaning it can only realistically tow a 910kg trailer. Woops. If I’d had an incident, insurance would have disowned me while the police ripped me a new one.
        In case you were wondering, yes, it was terrible to drive.

        Our new family tug is a Touareg. It is rated for a 3,000kg trailer with 300kg down on the ball and it pulls like a train. I don’t imagine I’ll need to upgrade it anytime soon.

        Reply