One fine day in September, I was on my way to Las Vegas for a weekend of fun and frivolity… the roads were light with traffic and the sky was clear. The 2009 BMW M3 sedan was built for stuff like this and I was happy to let the car chew up the highway miles. Alternating between the new Jay-Z CD, some Dethklok MP3s, and the note coming out of the quad tailpipes – I was really enjoying my drive. Until I saw a Crown Victoria pull into the median from the other side of the highway, pause while he gunned me down, then turned on to my direction of the I-15. My hand was on the blinker before his was on his flashing lights.“Son do you know what I stopped you for?”
“Cuz I’m young and I’m black and my hats real low?”
Oops… I should turn down the radio…
This officer was a nice guy and I was a gentleman – but his radar didn’t lie and I knew I was toast. The ticket was written and in my hand, my long weekend starting off on a sour note… to add insult to injury the cop began to ask me about my Bavarian steed.
“So… uh.. how does she handle at that speed?”
“… uhhh… pretty good…”
“How much horsepower is in there?”
“more than enough apparently…”
I glanced down at the ticket, surprised that it said 104 and not the 110 I thought I was doing but potatoes potatos at this point.
…………
Time had past and the ticket was in the back of my mind, until yesterday morning when I had to wake up at 4:45am to drive out to Barstow for my court appearance.
My name is spelled wrong there, but it is spelled that way on my license and I am not waiting in line to fix it from JEFFERY to JEFFREY… at least it’s not GEOFFREY (*shudders*).
I was within the first 10 people called and the judge was on top of her game… boom boom boom, in and out.
“Guily?” “Yes” “Need time to pay the fine?” “Yes” “NEXT!”
I was expecting a large number, and the Superior Court of California in the Barstow District did not disappoint.
So loyal hoons, I am doing this as a public service announcement (not court ordered, though that would be cool, it is just a fine I received) – DON’T DO WHAT DONNY DON’T DOES (on public roads at least).
The reader who gets closest to my fine without going over will receive a gift I have yet to determine. I will show you a photo with the fine listed on it and announce the winner at the end of the day. Get your guesses in, but please keep it to one guess per person, anymore and I will have to take your first guess only.
Dearthair, you are not eligible because I don’t want to convert your Canadian monetary guess to an actual value.
ALSO… if you know the answer already please don’t say. I will figure out more contests in the near future for you to be a part of.
By Jeff Glucker
Jeff Glucker is the co-founder and Executive Editor of Hooniverse.com. He’s often seen getting passed as he hustles a 1991 Mitsubishi Montero up the 405 Freeway. IG: @HooniverseJeff
Christopher Tracy 
Kamil Kaluski 
RoadworkUK
My guess: $345
Hahaha…this is delicious for me. Explanation as to why later this week.
1000 bucks, you said it in the post about the Van.
He said that the $1000 was almost as much as his fine, so I'll guess $1001. This is like The Price is Right, right?
Sure why not, what would you bid for this toaster?
Doctor Gonzo?
$530 – $2 per pony
Doesn't the M3 have 415 bhp?
Considering the financial state of California, you are lucky you didn't have to forfeit your house to pay the fine. I heard of someone who got a $600 ticket for sneezing in public without a permit. 😉
You obviously didn't follow the proper procedure.[youtube p73VLsEi8Gs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p73VLsEi8Gs youtube]
I once tried something along those lines. Or did I?
Well if Dearthair is out I guess I'm dq'd as well. Damn you and your dollar being worth only ¢5 more than ours.
$1,120 – two LeMons cars, some old furniture, and a 30-rack (depending on location) of Nasty Ass.
I like large numbers, and I
cannot liehave no optimism regarding the affairs of the state of California.My guess is $1,053 because, well, it's just a guess.
$435
about $700 dollar?
I bid $1, Bob.
That would be the butt, Bob.
My guess. $1500.
My guess is $1,053 because, well, it's just a guess.
In this small European country where I live, You would have lost your licence for 3 months + fine would have been about $1300 (if first time during last 1-2 years).
My guess: $1088.11