Craigslist Crapshoot

By Robert Emslie Jan 9, 2013

The World’s Worst Car Is For Sale On Craigslist

Our first Craigslist Crapshoot was a rousing success – at least if last week’s national productivity numbers are anything by which to go, as they showed a significant dip on Wednesday from 9 to noon. Just kidding, but you all did manage to dredge up some real losers – er, winners – from the pages of your local electronic classifieds.

We’ll fete the cream of the crop after the jump, but before we do, it’s time to get back, Jack, do it again – wheels turning round and round. That’s right, a whole week has gone by and we need to see if anything else has crawled out of the waist-high weeds of hillbillies’ front yard, or been uncovered in long forgotten corners of grandma’s garage.

Remember the rules- they have to be somewhat running and roadworthy, and they have to be just plain awful. And now, last week’s winner!

The winner of last week’s Craiglist Crapshoot was danleym, who found an ad by a seller who was not only offering up a miraculously bad custom Dodge pickup, but also had the mad skillz in MS paint to provide an example of its potential. Price? Who knows, after all how could you put a value on such a beast?

Well done to one and all, and I can’t wait to see what you dredge up this week.

CCCSWinner01-09 MainImage: [Craigslist St.Louis]

 

 

 

162 thoughts on “Craigslist Crapshoot”
    1. Holy crap, I just noticed it's in Alton, IL, my wife's hometown. I should have one of her relatives go check it out.

      1. But look at the camber! Think of how awesome it must handle! This post needs more exclamation points!
        !

          1. It has a solid axle. While it is possible to adjust the camber on those, it's expensive and technically difficult. (One technique is to carefully heat one side of the axle housing to cause the tubes to warp. 'carefully' is the operative word here.)

          2. Not put a Golf on a lift, heat the springs with a torch till they lose most of their strength and then lower the lift? That isn't your recommended method?
            (This is something someone actually did.)

          3. That is a… uh… unique approach to the problem of slamming a dub. Sounds perfectly safe to me. I don't see how they might possibly have a problem with it.
            (Trying not to laugh out loud. I'm visiting the office this week, so I actually have cow-orkers to bother if I bust up laughing. Damn you pj.)

          4. Oh, I bet it's higher than that. At least until it settles to its final spring rate of snap.

          5. It certainly sounds like it should be on the "Do Not Google" list, don't it?

          6. Orkin' yer cows! Orkin' yer cows! Orkin' yeeeeeeeerrrrr cowwwwwwws! Oo! Oo! Oo oo ooooo!

          7. I was kidding, I hoped people would know from the last exclamation, cause I don't hate any cars really.

          8. Me neither. Except that one.
            And absurd bro trucks.
            And Pacers.
            And the Dodge Dynasty my parents bought.
            . . .
            Dang. I guess I do hate a few. But I have good reasons.

          9. Bad experience in one.
            I was maybe five years old and my babysitter had one. Tan, with dark brown zig zag graphics. She had to go to Reno one hot summer day and I had to go with her. Reno was 80 miles away, it was hot, the back seat was vinyl and she had read somewhere that your car got better mileage with the windows up.
            Never mind that she didn't have the optional A/C. Never mind that her stupid car was a frickin' greenhouse on wheels, or that the kid she was babysitting was wearing shorts and sticking to her stupid plastic seats. She was going to save a dollar or two, damn the sweat.
            She always gave me the same thing for lunch: ten Cheez-It crackers and a slice of American cheese. Every day for five years.
            I still hate Cheez-Its. I still hate American cheese. And I shall hate Pacers forever.
            [youtube H-Q7b-vHY3Q http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-Q7b-vHY3Q youtube]

          10. If you ever find yourself in Philly, put aside your prejudice and get your cheese steak with American. So wonderful that way.
            Wiz and provolone can fuck right off when it comes to my cheese steaks.

          11. If I ever get to Philly, I shall live on nothing else during my visit.
            I've been eating American slices lately in an effort to get my kids to eat them too. It's not bad stuff, but it throws my brain back into irrational child mode.
            The kiddos already like Cheez-Its. Whenever they're eating them, I have to eat just one so that I don't smell them. The taste washes away with a swig of soda, but that smell. . . . jeez, I can smell it from a mile away, and it still makes me mad.

          12. Wasn't commenting on the 'hate' part, just the "why not in the back" part. 🙂

    1. I think that spoiler is stock. Its the performance SE-R version of the sentra. And its not even craigslist. For shame, sir.

      1. Craigslist doesn't really have a great presence here, Kijiji is where everybody advertises.
        I was mostly just making fun of the ad though, with its amazing bad photography and inexplicable excitement about having a spoiler.

          1. It's even closer to me. I value my current state of marital bliss otherwise I'd go take a look at this thing.

          2. Dude! It's the Valiant based one from the early 70s! That looks like a 318 under the hood. This is better than an El Camino.

          3. If you send me the money, I'll gladly hang onto it until you can pick it up. I'll even pre-hoon it for you!

    1. I have a feeling IL is going to do very well in this contest, yippie – I think. I love how the photos on this one progrssively got worse too.

      1. I was hesitant to click on that, but my curiousity got the better of me. I regret not having more self control.

    1. That was awesome:
      "… Tables and chairs in good condition must have atleast 15-20 tables and chairs …"
      Also "FRONT STRUT MOUNT" apparently, huh… sweet move or like the guy cleaned it, either way why?

    1. From the ad: "car has very little rust. a little in the 1 quarter panel, but the heater channels seem ok. floor pans need replacing."
      I'd like to know this guy's definition of a lot of rust. Surely, that open window doesn't keep out the rain and snow.

    1. You should see the 4 door Wrangler a guy at my work has. Every damn place he could squeeze chrome onto it, he has. It is painful to look at. Even more so when the sun's out.

      1. Oh, as far as Milwaukee is concerned, Donks aren't going away anytime soon. Doesn't make me hate them less, though.

    1. Engineless Impulse? Endless want.
      Seriously, I've always loved the look of those things. I would enjoy an AWD one.

  1. Awesomely Bad:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3L53N63He5E45F95J4cbqe09bae42e4511a9e.jpg"&gt;
    1997 – Ford Ranger CUSTOM – $3800 (KC, MO)
    http://kansascity.craigslist.org/cto/3435747423.h
    Potentially, Legitimately, Awesomely Awesome:
    <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3G53Ia3Me5N25F15H6cco34622f7f643a15af.jpg"&gt;
    [Runs and Drives? Dang!]
    1954 Mercury Monterey Rat Rod Project – $2500 (Eskridge)
    http://ksu.craigslist.org/cto/3499326021.html

    1. I hate it when I see "Rat Rod" used to describe an old worn out car. No, it's a clapped out piece of junk that needs a lot of work. It is not magically cool and worth more money because it has rusted through quarter panels and you rattle canned it.

      1. I've noticed this trend as well. It's one of those things where the definition of the term becomes blurred through overuse and popularity. It has pretty much lost all meaning at this point…

    1. His "carbon fiber" appears to be coming off of the hood. It looks like that laminated crap that my GXP has all over the interior.
      On a side note, why do people think that Cavaliers are built on a chassis competent enough to handle heavy tuning? Sure, this one seems to be stock other than the body kit, but a guy I play poker with on occasion is fully committed to putting a Silvia motor in his Cavalier. I've driven one before (rental) and it was hard to keep up with hiding my face from fellow motorists as they passed by.

    1. Wow… won trophys in the '80's and has been sitting ever since. I'm sure that you won't need to replace much… other than every rubber component. Plus, you get to put the body on the frame before you (try to) drive it home. Excellent! I've always wanted a truck based on a Beetle chassis.

    1. Yep, I think that's the shade. But somehow, it loses all of it's magnetism when applied to that car.

    1. At first, I was like "oh, just some decent cheap wheels and bad graphics, not so bad". Then that headliner assaulted my eyes…..
      And dat FC….. LS time. That's a super clean chassis to start with.


  2. <img src="
    http://i.ebayimg.com/t/TOYOTA-MR2-BEACH-BUGGY-PROJECT-2-0-ENGINE-92-J-REG-SPARE-CAR-INCLUDED-/00/s/NzE2WDk2MA==/$T2eC16V,!yME9s5qGshnBQ0QEGL2Cw~~60_57.JPG" width="450/">
    "WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET, EVEN IF YOU JUST WANT TO TAKE MOULDS FROM THIS CAR AND SELL THEM ON…"
    Sometimes people should have their hands forceably removed and be electrocuted if they even look in the direction of a sawzall. (Click for link. Can you guess what it is/was yet?)

    1. since this isn't' too far from me I will take donations to kill it with fire. A you tube vid will posted as be confirmation.

    1. At least it wasn't a Cutlass North Creia — those are the ones you really need to watch out for.

    1. That is one bitchin' van! I would daily drive that bastard with Fu Manchu blasting at 11! Not sure if I should get a Viking, Wizard or Dragon mural on the side.

    1. Hmm. Seller says he'd trade for a dependable mid-90's daily driver. I have a spare one of those. Good thing he doesn't live closer or I'd have to find a back burner behind my back burner for another project.

  3. <img src="http://images.craigslist.org/3Gd3Ne3l55G15Ed5M1d16d8f796526b671c6e.jpg"&gt;
    http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/cto/35276551
    It's titled as a '72 Chevy. I'm not seeing any '72 Chevy car or truck, and I'm not just talking about the GMT400 bodywork. Finishing it would be straightforward (if not labor-intensive), but if it ever needed any kind of inspection, be it DMV or, if CARB rolls the exemption back from pre-1976, smog check, you had better pray to the deity/higher power of your choosing that the bureaucrat that's adjudicating isn't in a question-asking, make-Joe-Public's-life-miserable mood.

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