Classic Captions – The 1978 Ford Mustang II King Cobra Edition

Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post, and it’s that time of the week in which this feature appears, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising, dealer displays or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous caption that is some how tied in with the image. There was a time in which the Mustang shared components with the Ford Pinto, and the featured car was no different, but we will get to that in a moment…
Last time we had an image of a Rambler Rouge in a Garage, and the participation rate was a little bit better this time, so I think I’ll keep this feature for a little longer… Our runner up caption was from one of our long time readers skitter, and he was still wrapped in within the Holiday Spirit: “After the kids were finally asleep, Mom, Dad, and Uncle Dave had to stay up to put all the Christmas presents together and under the tree.” That was very clever skitter, but there was one caption that our readers like a little bit better…
And the winning comment was from another one of our regular readers, Devin. His interesting caption went like this: “The end of the French New Wave movement is difficult to pin down, but many critics agree it’s marked by Godard’s poorly received film “2 or 3 Things I Fixed on Her Car.”” Ah the French New Wave Movement in Cinema, something I never really understood, which makes this caption so delightful, so good job Devin on winning this week’s Caption Contest.
It’s now time to take a look at this weeks entry, and I decided to once again use an image from Alden Jewell’s Flickr Account, and I found this image for the 1978 Ford King Cobra. This would be the final year for the Ford Mustang II, as a new Fairmont Based Mustang was set to debut for the 1979 Model Year. This King Cobra was the pinnacle of wretched excess for the Mustang II, with nothing that quite fit together cohesively. It has the forward rake grill opening, with an ultra deep front air dam, the graphics were utterly pointless, the Alloy Wheels were a version of the Mustang II Ghia Lace Alloys, and it sports a 5.0L Decal on the faux hood scoop. That 5.0L V-8 was a 2bbl unit that developed a meager 122hp! So, does this racy Mustang II look the part (a part of what I don’t know…) and does this image make you want to go out and find one of these for your own? (You can click here to see the full size image)
You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate on the merits of each entry, and after contemplating our own caption (So, why is there a Mad Max Vibe to this image?), and we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this very unusual image.
Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream

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  1. $kaycog Avatar

    Congratulations, Devin, on your winning caption! Here's your prize!
    <img src="–fhY-vxMD–/mng7dhnepbjsdxgbfafg.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

    1. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

      Devin, that was amazing! I giggled for hours! Congrats, and enjoy.
      <img src="; width=300>

      1. Devin Avatar

        I will enjoy as I go rambling about.

  2. PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ Avatar
    PotbellyJoe ★★★★★

    "Let's go take a look, he says. It could be a Firebird, he says. No one would abandon their Firebird, you idiot."
    "Listen, I said I was sorry. It was red, it had the decal on the hood, it looked good from 700 feet."
    "Yeah Sam?"
    "Shut up and get back in the gyrocopter."

  3. 66Mustanger Avatar

    "Yes, Meester Baund! You are being left here in zee barren wasteland with nothing but zee snakes to keep you company! Hahahahaha! Goodbye, Meester Baund!"
    As 007 looked around, he saw that this foreign agent hadn't noticed the presence of the little Mustang King Cobra among the reptiles waiting to take him back to civilization.

    1. 66Mustanger Avatar

      By the way, I could use that thing right now to clear some of this snow out of the driveway.

  4. onrails Avatar

    "Listen – we BOTH had the same pile of leftover parts to work from, I just decided to make something that was attractive, fun, and useful. You'll just have to take the car that you made."

  5. GTXcellent Avatar

    "Tails, I win – ha ha, you have to pilot this horrible, under-powered, fiery death trap."
    "Well, that's fine. But next time, I get to fly the autogyro."

  6. $kaycog Avatar

    Orville: "I'm pretty sure this is the future. Look at that car!"
    Wilbur: "I really think you're Wright!"

  7. Alff Avatar

    Why Max Rockatansky is proud to be Australian.

  8. Batshitbox Avatar

    "This new Mad Max film isn't all it's cracked up to be."

    1. skitter Avatar

      Hey man, it's a dystopia. Get used to it.

  9. Devin Avatar

    "I know you flew me in to dismantle that bomb, but I think it's safer for everyone if we just detonate it."

  10. P161911 Avatar

    "You came here in THAT thing! You're braver than I thought."
    And that is the story of how George Lucas got one of the great lines of cinema from an autogyro pilot while George was driving his new Mustang.

  11. Guest Avatar

    Stan: Ollie, you came down too fast and bent the landing gear. Now look at what you've done. Where are we going to find a universal light weight axle and wheel set in the middle of the desert?
    Ollie: Hmmm.

  12. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar

    The owners of the King Cobra trademark reflected on their failed Ford partnership and decided to abandon the damned car, then went home and got drunk on home-brewed malt liquor.

  13. Batshitbox Avatar

    "Malaise Max: The Bloat Warrior"

    1. skitter Avatar


  14. PotbellyJoe ★★★★★ Avatar
    PotbellyJoe ★★★★★

    "Do you think this is far enough from civilization?"
    "Yeah Ted, I'd think between the heat of this sun, the lack of air in the trunk, how well we tied him up and the desert he'd have to cross, well… Let's just say, this should be the last time we ever hear from Downvoter."

  15. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    "Wait, where am I?"
    "You've landed in RedWorld, where there is only one color."

  16. needthatcar Avatar

    What the hell you need ball bearings for?
    Awww, come on guys, it's so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.
    Hey! It's all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I'm gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.

  17. Lokki Avatar

    The Littlest Cobra waited anxiously for his braces to be fitted. If that stupid appliance would cure his underbite it would be worth the embarassment of wearing that thing. Maybe, just maybe he might look like real Mustang Cobra when he grew up, and nobody would laugh at him any more.

  18. danleym Avatar

    Dude, I asked you to come rescue me because I had flown into the middle of the desert only to have my gyrocopter break down. I fail to see how you've improved my situation.

  19. VolvoNut Avatar

    No! It's *my* snake, I trained it, I'm going to eat it! I got a recipe for snake. Delicious. Fricassee of reptile. You are what you eat.

  20. skitter Avatar

    Enough time has passed that this looks cool. Some will agree, and some will roll on the floor laughing.

  21. 1977chevytruck Avatar

    Seeing the success Hot Wheels had with the Snake and Mongoose drag wars, Maistro created it's own spin on it. Needless to say, the Horse and Flea land speed record wars were pretty unsuccessful, and really boring.

  22. JTC Avatar

    "how high do you think it will go?"
    "Before we drop it you mean?"

  23. dr zero Avatar
    dr zero

    Although James Bond had prior form in both autogyros and Mustangs, even Albert Brocolli couldn't take the product placement cash when he saw what Ford were offering.

  24. fodder650 Avatar

    "You asked if it was an auto"
    "An automatic"
    "No it's an autogiro"
    "The car, is it an automatic"
    "No this is an autogiro"
    "Look is the Mustang an automatic or a manual"
    "This isn't a Mustang. It's a Pitcairn or something"
    "Oh for…. Look… do you see thing with four wheels and the giant wing?"
    "It's three wheels and two blades"
    "I give up. I'm going to go steal it and drive it away. You don't deserve it"
    "It's not my car"

  25. MrDPR Avatar

    For the last time … I WILL NOT let you fly my aircraft. That car of yours is a death trap.

  26. Van_Sarockin Avatar

    Alphonse: "That's a whole lot more crack than I ever expected to see. No, I'm not talking about the dry lake bed."
    Gaston: "Fine, you can ride in front on the flight back home."
    Alphonse: "Not what I was talking about. But perhaps we should say no more, and pretend that this never happened."

  27. tiberiusẅisë Avatar