Classic Captions – The 1973 Plymouth Roadrunner Edition

Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of postings that are set to go off around this time almost every Tuesday (when I’m able to produce these postings), so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. I really like this type of imagery (70’s Vintage Advertising) so see if you can come up with a clever caption for this amazing image.

Last week, we had an image of two lovely Eastern European women showing their modeling skills, and the comments flew fast and lose (most were not even about the image at all, and I thank you all for that) so let’s see who managed to come up with a great caption. We actually received three great captions this time, with smalleyxb122 coming very close with this piece of work: “My German is a little rusty, but there are two women standing here, and I swear I heard them say something about three and sex.” Very funny, and a clever tie in with the name of the car.

Then Irishzombieman was next up to the plate with his very long and amusing storyline that went like this:

Once upon a time, not too terribly long ago but a good while back, some damned fool physicist, probably trying to impress a girl, divided by zero with one hand while using the other to smash atoms with a really big hammer.

Something happened.

No one really knows what, but there was a BRIGHT LIGHT and a BIG BOOM and when all the dust settled nothing in that land really worked the same ever again.

Doors appeared in open fields and opened to hallways in other galaxies. Whole towns floated away into space. Chickens barked like dogs.

In one village, three and six were suddenly, inexplicably equal.

Later investigations have determined that this was caused by a small black hole that appeared suddenly inside a small German car as it sat outside a restaurant. This black hole, later referred to as 3=6, eventually inhaled the entire town before mysteriously winking out of existence (in this universe, at least).

One single photo made it out of the town, and appears to show 3=6 immediately after it appeared.

The photo, lableled DKW 3=6, looks like a car ad, doesn’t it?

Actually, it’s the last moments of life on earth for Dagmar and Kierstin Winkel. They look happy enough, but that’s just 3=6’s extreme gravity distorting their facial expressions. Their odd posture is similarly explained. Moments later, they crossed the event horizon and ceased to be.

Of note, what appear to be yucca plants in the background were actually 50-foot-tall big leaf maples. The gravitational effects of 3=6 have distorted the light before it reached the camera’s lens.

However, it was a clever tie in from Vavon that took the prize this time, but it needs some explanation. You see, at one time DKW produced these cars in Brazil under the DKW-Vemag name, and, well, I’ll let Vavon continue:

Woman 1: Men just don’t understand us…
Woman 2: Why do you say that?
Woman 1: I told my husband I wanted a little Brazilian…
Woman 2: Yes, and..
Woman 1: He got me this DKW Vemag!.
Both women: Hahaha, Men!

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks image. This is a period advertisement from Chrysler Canada showcasing the 1973 Plymouth Roadrunner. I really can’t tell if the car is suppose to be on a shipping dock, or an industrial complex, but there is no denying that there is at least one bare mid section on display for all to see here. You know, I used to own a similar pair of pants during this time period (His, not hers…) so I can almost relate to this time period. Ahhhh, the era of tacky clothing and strangled Muscle Cars… no wonder the 70s were so messed up. You have the next 5 days to come up with a truly memorable caption, and I know you will. (You can click here to see the full size image)

The editors will then go over each enntry, and after re-living our own disco era nightmare we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this great image.

Photo Credit: Alden Jewels Flickr Photostream