By Jim Brennan
Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that are set to run this time each week, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. This week’s image is probably one of the most unforgettable ones yet, but we will deal with that later…
Last Week, we had an image of a Peterbilt in a Rose Garden and the responses were really thought provoking. It was tiberiusẅisë who came up with a great caption this time, tied in with the theme of the image: “Grey Poupon? But of course. 30,000 jars of it.” I think this was the first time tiberiusẅisë was in the running for the Caption Contest, so well done!
However, this time the winning tale was from onrails, and it went something like this: “Upper Crust Journal Day 259 – I feel I am stretching my credibility somewhat with my choice of vehicle, but these folks seem to still be fooled. The upright grille, chrome bumpers, whitewalls, and buttercream paint got me in the gate, and when I explained that Peter Rolls and Bilt Royce were behind the engineering of the silky diesel six under the bonnet, the omission of the Spirit of Ecstasy seemed to be acceptable. Now to find my diagram of what fork goes where on the table before my dinner manners give me away…” Well done onrails, well done!
It’s now time to take a look at this weeks image. I thought last weeks image was strange… Well, this is over the top. This was an ad published for Millionair Magazine in 1963, which was produced by the Millionaires Club! This image has it all: A Girl in a Polka-Dot Bikini, Wearing High Heels. On top of that, she’s wearing a Sombrero, while riding a Burro. It’s vaguely car related because there’s a 1963 MG Midget in the image, but the real topper for this over the top image? The caption itself… “Tell her to get off her Burro, and go “Modern””. Let’s see if you can come up with a funnier, snarkier, or more outrageous caption than that… (You can click here to see the full size image)
You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after contemplating our own caption, we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this interesting image
Photo Credit: Alden Jewell’s Flickr Photostream
Kamil Kaluski 
Robby DeGraff
"You have a cute little ass, Tina, but let's go for a ride in my MG."
"When I told the guys at work about my vacation plans, they said, 'Bob, she'll ride your ass all the way to Mexicali.' Is this what they meant?"
Don Pedro's attempt to develop a family friendly donkey show failed so miserably that soon, he was no longer considered the patron of Tijuana.
Congrats on the winning caption, onrails! Here's a new Peterbilt for you.
<img src="http://stackedrigs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Trucker-Girl6.jpg"width="500"/>
$kaycog, how much did it cost you to rent that truck for the day?
It was so expensive she had to sell everything but her underwear.
It was the other way around. ;D
Volvo does make semis (chortle), will google later…
HA HA HA HA! Onrails, that was frickin' hilarious!
Hope you enjoy this here Stone Espresso Russian Imperial Stout as much as I have. Sounds weird at first, hey? It is, but it's an awesome kind of weird.
<img src="http://beerstreetjournal.com/images/espresso-IRS.jpg" width=275>
onrails, that was really funny and creative, congrats! Here let me slip you this here, thanks google!
<img src="http://www.technical-illustrations.co.uk/img/Bike-project/Exploded-fork-assembly.jpg"> Awwcrap… we're boned now.
Thanks… I have fond memories of changing oils in my forks in the middle of winter, out in the snow with numb fingers. That looks like it has air springs, those didn't really exist back when i rode bikes.
Here's one from 2002… had to sell the bikes later that year.
<img src="https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/74465213/moi%20maltsu.jpg" width="600" </img>
Outstanding photo. You kids and your rear suspensions…
I like you Peterbilt. It's so…. White.
Nice!
Away from the computer for 3 days and come back a winner. Woo hoo! Thanks everyone!
Betty had noticed the bumper sticker on George's car, so she showed up prepared for their ride.
<img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8187/8148565648_234201a625_z.jpg">
It's funny (or is it scary?), but I was thinking of that bumper sticker last night.
So then I told her get off my ass!
That's a nice ass but let me show you what 46 red horses of fury can do!
"George, I'm leaving you. You don't respect my ass and I've seen you running around with that bitch."
Spot had seen what was going to happen next and walked slowly away as the two tall men watched.
"I told Bob I'd give him some ass if he'd take me for a ride in his new car. It's not my fault that he misunderstood me."
The British proclivity to cling to odd units of measure is demonstrated in this picture, showing the practical difference between one and 45 Asspowers.
Actually that should be 45 AssPower, 1 Dalmation power. It took the British until 1971 to decimalize their money, units of power were still confusing in 1963.
This wasn't the kind of Midget the two tall men looking on expected to see in the Tijuana Donkey Show.
With SafeSearch on, this is the only result for “Midget and Donkey.”
Thirty seconds after Nigel made that stupid joke about touching her ass, Merideth was smiling down at his dead, trampled body, and wondering how to get bloodstains out of upholstery.
I have heard of the Donkey show down in Juarez, but the Midget, donkey and dalmatian show? I know where I want my bachelor's party.
So THAT'S how they used to play Pogs!
Donkeys, not sheep, because we're English, not Welsh.
The Midget, by MG.
HA HA HA HA!
MG Midget: The car that makes all asses look big
Everyone always thought Tina would be the first to get married.
But the first time George and Bertha's eyes met, it was love.
This is one of the strangest advertising images I've ever seen. I have nothing.
The salesman did tell me this MG would get me all the ass I could handle …
It's not the first time she's been astride his ass whilst he's been inside a midget.
"The Aristocrats!"
Now which comedian would you have saying it? I'm going to go with Bob Newhart.
Bob Saget, for sure. Nobody is sicker, and more unexpected, than him.
I think this caption is the clear winner.
Oh… well done.
British Leyland: if you're into spotty, you'll love our take on reliability.
Well come on where did you think Lucas smoke came from?
I want to go there.
There wasn't enough cocaine to rotoscope Ralph Bakshi's Seven Dalmations: Midget Gidget.
Does this MG make my ass look big?
Honestly…this photo does not require comments.
Bill had always dreamed of the day he'd be parked in a sports car fondling Hazel's ass.
"The donkey show: you're not doing it right"
The question is, which one's making a bigger ass of themselves?
I haven't got a caption, but I do have a new desktop.
Now try explaining it to the coworkers.
Carnac the Magnificent: "Name three things unlikely to win a race…"
Sadly, the language barrier kept Akira Kurosawa's attempt to remake "Donkey Ho Tay" from ever being released.
"No, I'm sorry, my ass is not for sale!"
I understand why he's got her wearing a bikini and a sombrero. I don't understand why he's got the burro wearing a sombrero. I don't want to find out why he has one more dog-sized sombrero. I'm out of here!
"get off of that beast, get in to my car"
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