Classic Caption – The 1960 DeSoto Adventurer Edition

Jim Brennan

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Welcome to the Hooniverse Classic Captions Post. This is a series of posts that are set to run this time every Tuesday, so let’s review the premise; I search for images that were used by the car companies in their print advertising or brochures, and it is your job to provide a humorous, snarky, or thought provoking caption that is some how tied in with the image. I seem to be fixated on late 50s Chrysler Sedans, so maybe it’s time for you to participate, so I can get out of this rut…

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Last week, we had an image of a family in a Fury, and the comments were both well crafted and quite funny. One of our longtime fans, Alff (Yes, again…), threw out this incredible caption: “Yeah, the ranch ain’t far – just 5 miles as the crow flies. Head up yonder past the Chrysler stuck in the ditch, take a left at the Dodge with the broken axle and go straight on for a couple miles when you get to the Pontiac with the overheating radiator.” Yes, it was funny, but not one of his best.

The winner this week was from smalleyxb122, who penned a caption which paid homage to the old Marlboro Cigarette advertisements: “I’m sorry, folks. Flavor country is one town over.” This was very clever, so congratulations once again smalleyxb122!

It’s now time to take a look at this weeks illustration. This is an advertising image for the 1960 DeSoto Adventurer, and I chose it as my way of saying “Winter is no longer welcome!”. What is odd is the number of scuba divers surrounding the DeSoto (Nine of them!!!). They are all getting dressed to go out into the surf, but what are they planning? Is this some sort of club outing? And does this image make any sense whatsoever. (You can click here to see the full size image)

You have the next five days to come up with a great caption. The editors will deliberate entries, and after watching countless episodes of Sea Hunt (with Lloyd Bridges), we will pronounce a winner. So, get to work and create you’re own caption for this great Maritime adventure

Photo Credit: Captain Geoffery Spaulding’s Flickr Photostream

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Jim Brennan

Jim Brennan

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45 responses to “Classic Caption – The 1960 DeSoto Adventurer Edition”

  1. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    Yay, smalleyxb122!! Your prize is this Plymouth Fury, named Christine, as shown by this female, named Roxy.
    <img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3e3U7RGXsck/UQhtwptMz8I/AAAAAAAAHFI/5kukAYF7geY/s1600/Roxy+Vandiver+%26+Christine.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

    Reply
    1. Irishzombieman Avatar
      Irishzombieman

      Woohoo, smalleyxb122!
      Something a little different this week: Angry Orchard Elderflower Hard Cider. Crisp, refreshing, festive and excellent. Stay thirsty, amigo.
      <img src="http://beerpulse.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Angry-Orchard-Elderflower-Hard-Cider-6pack.jpg&quot; width=400>

      Reply
    2. Impalamino Avatar
      Impalamino

      She should be wary in that position, lest she get the Moochie Welch treatment.

      Reply
  2. skitter Avatar
    skitter

    Throwback die-hards refusing to touch a Mopar product without protective gear and a six-foot pole.

    Reply
  3. desolit Avatar
    desolit

    "Thank God there are illustrated instructions on how to change a flat tire. Otherwise, we would never figure out how to use all of this to jack-up the car."

    Reply
  4. CalculatedRisk Avatar
    CalculatedRisk

    The divers were less than intrigued by the beached blue whale, despite its impressive fins.

    Reply
  5. Alff Avatar
    Alff

    The 1960 DeSoto Adventurer – more than a land yacht, it's a dive barge.

    Reply
  6. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    The members of Seal Team 9 couldn't decide which was worse, having women in their unit or all being forced to ride in a Desoto due to budget cuts.

    Reply
  7. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Bob and Mary cowered in the back seat until the strange frogmen disappeared over the dunes.

    Reply
  8. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    Alright, before we start, everyone remember the safe word?

    Reply
    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      … and remember, stay out of my new car. I don't need the interior covered in seamen.

      Reply
      1. fodder650 Avatar
        fodder650

        The full body condom trials just didn't work out. It took to long get the thing on at which point all the rubbing made it pointless anyway.

        Reply
    2. Alcology Avatar
      Alcology

      Artichoke.

      Reply
  9. muthalovin Avatar
    muthalovin

    Nope, not the treasure we were looking for. Put it back.

    Reply
  10. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    Bob, wouldn't it be easier just to put plastic covers on the seats.

    Reply
  11. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    "We're going to be called Adventurers when we all go down at the same time."

    Reply
  12. wisc47 Avatar
    wisc47

    "Is everyone here prepared for a blown head? Good, now what should we do if the car breaks down?"

    Reply
  13. Irishzombieman Avatar
    Irishzombieman

    The car-thing just sat there, immobile, like cars normally do when not in use.
    Like Venus flytraps do, also. Like tigers, sometimes.
    Then a strange slurping sound filled the warm afternoon air, and suddenly Jordy's pants were gone. The sound again, and Gina's pale legs were exposed to the world. Pandemonium followed, as the be-wetsuited beachgoers were one by one chased down by the demon car and left wearing nothing but Speedos and bikinis.
    The car belched, long and low and full of vibrato, then moved on, it's hunger for neoprene sated only for the moment.

    Reply
    1. fodder650 Avatar
      fodder650

      I think you may seen to many old B movies from the fifties and sixties.

      Reply
      1. Irishzombieman Avatar
        Irishzombieman

        Early favorite authors were Stephen King, Douglas Adams and Kurt Vonnegut. I believe massive doses of these three at a formative period of my life sorta defined the information handling processes controlling the IZM gray matter supercomputer.
        Though it could've been Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes, too.

        Reply
        1. fodder650 Avatar
          fodder650

          I'm also guessing you were a fan of MST3k.

          Reply
          1. Irishzombieman Avatar
            Irishzombieman

            Would've been, had I had cable. I never saw it until it was off the air, dang it.

          2. fodder650 Avatar
            fodder650

            All the MST3k episodes are up on Youtube in one piece without commercials.
            http://goo.gl/RZLgC

          3. Irishzombieman Avatar
            Irishzombieman

            EXCELLENT!

          4. fodder650 Avatar
            fodder650

            Use this and you can even watch them in order. Although if you have been away from it for awhile. I'd say start with season 3 and work your way up from there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Mystery_Scie…

  14. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick ★

    The 1960 DeSoto Adventurer seats 6 dry, 9 wetsuited.

    Reply
  15. Number_Six Avatar
    Number_Six

    Unfortunately our scuba swingers' day out was ruined when June demonstrated her lack of speargun safety awareness and Chet bled to death all over the back seat of the DeSoto, which had quickly sunk into the beach after Fred floored it in a total panic. But at least watching a man bleed to death from a gut wound prepared me and Hank for the horrors of Vietnam, which of course we dodged by fleeing later that year to a small town in British Columbia.

    Reply
  16. smalleyxb122 Avatar
    smalleyxb122

    Damned autocorrect. Driver’s car! A real Driver’s car!
    <img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8527/8614133812_6cb4c4b2a7_m.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. P161911 Avatar
      P161911

      This was the 1959 version of autocorrect:
      <img src="http://image1.masterfile.com/em_w/02/79/57/846-02795769w.jpg"width=500&gt;

      Reply
      1. dukeisduke Avatar
        dukeisduke

        For those like me, who couldn't see the picture:
        http://image1.masterfile.com/em_w/02/79/57/846-02…

        Reply
    2. Sjalabais Avatar
      Sjalabais

      You took me beyond giggle. My thumbup may be with you.

      Reply
    3. fodder650 Avatar
      fodder650

      Took me a minute but that was awesome. Well done.

      Reply
    4. Irishzombieman Avatar
      Irishzombieman

      Goin' for two!

      Reply
  17. Tomsk Avatar
    Tomsk

    Delightful! DeLovely! DeScuba for 1960!

    Reply
  18. fodder650 Avatar
    fodder650

    The Diabloik auditions will be starting in thirty minutes.

    Reply
  19. scroggzilla Avatar
    scroggzilla

    Emilio Largo's henchmen are brought to you by DeSoto. Remember, if you're going to threaten geopolitical stability for fun and profit, do it in a DeSoto!

    Reply
    1. Jim Brennan Avatar
      Jim Brennan

      I was trying to find away of tying in Largo, a famous Bond villain if ever there was one, but the movie (Thunderall) was released in 1965, making this DeSoto almost 5 years old…

      Reply
      1. dr zero Avatar
        dr zero

        I was thinking Thunderball too, but of course was beaten to the punch. They loved implausible scuba battles so much they Never (Say Never) did them Again!

        Reply
  20. rennsport964 Avatar
    rennsport964

    De Soto Adventurer: Nemo approved.

    Reply
  21. Slow_Joe_Crow Avatar
    Slow_Joe_Crow

    De Soto, the official car of the International Association of Rubberists.

    Reply
  22. L'Hippo Avatar
    L'Hippo

    " I can't wait until they invent photoshop! This car beside me is as large as a battleship but the front fender comes up to my knee. I think those Mad Men at the agency were drunk again, the perspective is off.

    Reply
  23. dr zero Avatar
    dr zero

    1960 DeSoto: Jacques Cousteau says oui!
    <img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lav3g4Wkyq1qzdvhio1_r2_500.jpg&quot; width=500>

    Reply
  24. Pete Z. Avatar
    Pete Z.

    "The El Segundo Latex Fetish Club prepares for an afternoon of frollicking in the surf followed by various water sports and fudge packing in the back seat."

    Reply
  25. nutzforautos Avatar
    nutzforautos

    "Let's get out of these suits, I'm roasting out here. Hope this DeSoto's got air-conditioning!"

    Reply
  26. Vairship Avatar
    Vairship

    The new Batmobile was quite the hit at Gotham Beach.

    Reply