Bonjour, les Amis [New writer alert!]

Shant Jaltorossian

/comment

Comments

Honda CR-Z

Greetings, all. I suppose I should take some time and introduce myself.

My name is Shant, and I come bearing news: I’m the new guy here. I love cars of all types, be they microcars built in the Eastern Bloc, or the latest and greatest sports car. If it has wheels and an engine, chances are, it’s likely relevant to my interests. Except beige Toyotas.

As for what I drive: a 2011 Honda CR-Z. Before you all pelt me with rotten produce, hear me out. It’s a good car, darn it. Sure, it’s not a roaring, tire-destroying monster, but it’s a fun-to-drive car that loves to be thrown around corners. That said, if someone asks me if it’s a Prius again, I will not be happy.

Of particular note is my questionable affection for the Malaise Era. Be it a Cosworth Vega or a Gremlin X, my taste for cars can be called anything from “odd” to “masochistic.” Another weakness of mine is anything French, especially anything with the Citroën chevrons.

I’m in the Los Angeles area, and am fortunate to have access to countless car-related events. I’ll be sharing what I can, and hope I don’t put you folks to sleep.

 

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Shant Jaltorossian

Shant Jaltorossian

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77 responses to “Bonjour, les Amis [New writer alert!]”

  1. CherokeeOwner Avatar
    CherokeeOwner

    Hello Shant, and welcome. We'll go easy on you regarding the CR-Z. Well, I will. I test drove one once; it was actually kind of cool.

    Reply
  2. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    Hello, ShantJ! It's nice to have you here. I too like Citroens.

    Reply
    1. owl Avatar
      owl

      Yep that's me too. Welcome and I like Citroens (got 5).
      Looking forward to hearing about whats going on in LA events wise as I shall be visiting your fair city in July

      Reply
    2. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
      ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

      <img src="http://images.thetruthaboutcars.com/2010/10/citroen-ami6-in-curva.jpg"&gt; Ja tak samo! Czeszcz Ami i witam Shant!

      Reply
      1. $kaycog Avatar
        $kaycog

        Are you talking dirty?

        Reply
        1. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

          Why? Did the photo of the Frenchman driving with much vigor with his little ami ready to unload here at the apex make you think so? Shame on you!

          Reply
          1. $kaycog Avatar
            $kaycog

            Don't shame on me! Shame on Flick for flipping Jeff off below here.

          2. Vavon Avatar
            Vavon

            Shame on you for trying to put the shame on Flick!

          3. $kaycog Avatar
            $kaycog

            Shame on you for shaming me for putting the shame on Flick. You both have a permanent place here:
            <img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QwqlUqfHoPo/TvnCzZtn-aI/AAAAAAAAA20/gHyROjf2HEs/s320/Hall+of+Shame.jpg"width="500"/&gt;

          4. Vavon Avatar
            Vavon

            We will follow you shamelessly madam president!

          5. $kaycog Avatar
            $kaycog

            <img src="http://iwanticewater.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/tongue-sticking-kitty.gif"width="500"/&gt;

      2. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        Is that Polish for "extreme body roll?"

        Reply
        1. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

          [youtube 4y5KnjwvsAs http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y5KnjwvsAs youtube]
          Niestety nie, ale to jest.

          Reply
          1. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
            Irishzombieman☆

            That ain't Polish–too many vowels, not enough letters D, J, and W.

          2. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
            ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

            Przepraszam, ale to bylo po polsku.

          3. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
            Irishzombieman☆

            że to, co mówię.

          4. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
            ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

            Ha, I think I know what you mean, here's a prize, I swear it was a caddy when I was younger though.
            http://www.flickr.com/photos/burningred/278753063…

          5. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
            Irishzombieman☆

            Ten years ago, there was no easy way on earth for me to figure out how to say "That's what I'm talking about" in Polish.
            Now, I can find the lyrics from every Grateful Dead song ever and translate them into Polish–or Icelandic, or Yiddish, or frickin' Afrikaans–in under a minute. Thank you, Google. My children will never know the despair of wondering how to say "What a long strange trip it's been" in Catalan.
            Guy I competed against in hammer throw in college was Polish, had a last name that was 14 letters long, had two vowels in it, and a string of 8 consecutive consonants. Wish I could remember exactly what it was, but it was something along the lines of Wjdszylikszn and sounded sorta like "wood chuck". Polish fascinates me, and if I lived in Chicago or anywhere with a significant community, I'd figure out a way to infiltrate Irish me into it, just for the language. And the pierogi.
            Dziękuję przyjacielu za samochód z kurczaka.
            Hot dang, look at all them zees.

          6. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
            ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

            Maybe his name was Wlodarczyk (only the L and the O have little slashes), that's Polish last name sounding a bit like woodchuck.
            So I'm not a linguist or anything, but the story I heard about Polish is that they went with Latin alphabet but there were too many sounds, so they started dotting, slashing, and putting tails on letters. There were a few dialects and basically any sound has like three hardness levels in it is what evolved in all. At first they sort of only wrote two, but then they started trying to denote all three. Somebody realized at the point they they were dotting their zeds that this was getting kind of silly, cause a little slash and a little dot are pretty hard to distinguish. So they then decided to bunch up two letters to make the distinction. They picked zed again. So that's why with really old words like wife you spell with a dotted Z but other words RZ, same sound.
            I'm sure that story is largely apocryphal, but it's a nice story. In truth think about variations on grades G, Z, and R they sort of all intermingle really. Where my one aunt is from, the sounds are a bit different than where I am in those in particular. But anyway, that's why you get lots of zeds in Polish writing, but they aren't really said. Some are even three letters long, like TRZ is one sound. Funny thing is TH is just as hard for Poles to say right as TRZ is for people in US. In Czech where there are less sounds they did stuff like putting what look like carets on letters, and other Slavik languages Cyril is to blame.
            Also I picked some awkward way to say Sorry, but that was in Polish just to avoid all D, J, and W 😉

          7. Manic_King Avatar
            Manic_King

            I'm sitting here watching football (soccer I mean) and Borussia Dortmund players have names like Piszczek and Błaszczykowski. Not really sure are commentators in TV are saying these correctly.

          8. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
            ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

            How they fit that on a jersey! First name is pronounced like peesh-chek, second one as bwash-chi-kov-ski, all sh and ch hard and the v something between f and v but more like v in English.

          9. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
            ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

            Oh yeah one other thing, I have no idea why it is, but in Polish and Hungarian (which isn't Slavic) they have all these neat little stories for words. Even say for Slavic itself, the word for word in Polish is slowo, so the story goes Slavic means those people that use the same words. The other nearby tribes, not anything like deutsche or german, but niemiec sounding like 'not us' (nie my) or even just like how Poles imagine mumbling sounding – niem-niem-niem. Really there was a tribe closer to now France that had that name, so like all these stories probably just are that, stories, but for some reason Polish and Hungarian are riddled with them. I like the origin story for the Hungarian word for Poland, where the pretty girls live, cause they had more blondes. This story is told more in Poland than Hungary though 😉

          10. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
            Irishzombieman☆

            Back in the 90s, I rented a room from a family named Wojdylak for a year or thereabouts. It was there I learned about pierogi (jeez, is there anything you can't put in a dumpling? Yum!) and caught a love for the weirdness of the language. Thanks for the new stuff. If I ever end up in Chicago,I'm planning to move my family into your garage. 🙂

          11. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
            ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

            If you or your family ever end-up in Chicago, come and visit! But I live an hour away west of the city now.

          12. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
            Irishzombieman☆

            Gracias, amigo!

          13. BobWellington Avatar
            BobWellington

            Geez, go write a novel, you two. 😛

          14. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
            ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

            IZM so should write one!

          15. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
            Irishzombieman☆

            Workin' on it.

          16. wunno sev Avatar
            wunno sev

            it was! and originally it was a buick electra
            <img src="http://media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com/550x/7e/d3/c3/7ed3c39bd19e4b19dec42b24d158fa50.jpg"&gt;
            sincerely,
            wunno sev
            onetime harold's chicken devotee
            i have since left the harold's fold…should go back there some time, it's been years
            the hyde park joint was my stomping grounds. i liked that the bulletproof glass and chicken carousel kept me safe from any chicken projectiles that might be ejected from the fryers.

          17. wunno sev Avatar
            wunno sev

            ps i don't know if that's the actual car that belonged to the eponymous harold or even if it's an electra
            nonetheless here is a fun article about harold's http://www.chicagoreader.com/pdf/060414/060414_ha…

          18. ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
            ˏ♂ˊ mzs zsm msz esq

            That was my local Harold's too! The whole half a fried chicken with two slices of white toast was pretty unique, it was good tasting chicken though, but a bit too rich and filling for me, so I ended-up at Pepe's more for the big burritos. And honestly the glass was less about protection of the customers from the fryers than well, you know. Thanks for the neat article, looks like they expanded all over, there's one even two towns over from where I live now, might head over there. I'm pretty sure that yellow car is not from Chicago just from the foliage and fence, but glad you remember the big cadillac chicken cause it was almost like it could have been my mind playing tricks on me at this point after all these years.

  3. wisc47 Avatar
    wisc47

    Welcome! As far as the CR-Z goes, I think it's a neat car. It's well styled (for my tastes) and seems like a good compromise between driving fun and ease of ownership. No one should be faulted for wanting the best of both worlds. That being said, I drive an old Fiat so I'm in a completely different frame of mind as far as reliability goes.

    Reply
  4. Piston Slap Yo Mama Avatar
    Piston Slap Yo Mama

    CR-Z haters gonna hate. Let 'em. I appreciate a sporty, beautiful and well made car that puts money in the bank with its economy. Lots of awesome sports cars aren't fast. A generation grew up on Bugeye Sprites, Spitfires, Fairlady's, Fiat Spyders, Corolla GTS's yada yada who learned about conservation of momentum rather than throttle oversteer. This arms race of 1/4 mile times and skidpad performance is missing the point: fun.
    Welcome aboard.

    Reply
    1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      I'm with you completely.
      I'd much rather drive a slow car quickly than a fast car slowly.

      Reply
    2. wisc47 Avatar
      wisc47

      Funny you say that, my car is a Fiat Spider. Hell of a fun car to drive but I'll be damned if I can get it to go faster than 80 MPH. Doesn't really matter though.

      Reply
      1. Alff Avatar
        Alff

        Newb. My Alfa goes at least 86.

        Reply
        1. mdharrell Avatar
          mdharrell

          Per hour?

          Reply
          1. Alff Avatar
            Alff

            In recent history, per year.

        2. wisc47 Avatar
          wisc47

          We should drag race and see who it takes longer to get to 60. It usually takes me about the length of an entire James Cameron movie.

          Reply
    3. Maymar Avatar
      Maymar

      I think the only thing that gives me pause on the CR-Z is the existence of the Mini, which is close on fuel efficiency (albeit handicapped by premium), and drives like a Mini. Or at least, leasing a Mini would give me pause. I'm not sure there's a BMW product I'd want to own long-term that was built after we thought the Rembrandts would be more than a one-hit wonder.

      Reply
    4. Thrashy Avatar
      Thrashy

      My beef with the CR-Z is that it is slower, fatter, less nimble, less spacious, and somehow even less fuel-efficient than my old CRX was. I thought a car's successor was supposed to bring improvements.
      What's that? Unlike its forebear, The CR-Z isn't composed entirely of rust, and won't crush its occupants to death a mild fender-bender? LALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU

      Reply
  5. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
    Irishzombieman☆

    Took a different road home a couple weeks past and drove by a house with what appears to be a straight CR-X planted in the middle of knee high weeds. Hood off, no engine. Betcha I could get it for a hundred bucks. You car reminded me. Gotta finish some projects and get back over there.
    Bienvenidos, hombre.

    Reply
  6. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    I enjoy driving the CR-Z … just putting that out there.

    Reply
    1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick ★

      How do you fit in it…? I know you're a big dude too. Seems like a decent car, but I was never able to get past how extremely uncomfortable I was in one to see how much I would have liked it otherwise.

      Reply
      1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
        Jeff Glucker

        I fit in nearly everything. Don't know how or why, just know I do…

        Reply
        1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
          Scandinavian Flick ★

          <img src="http://i.imgur.com/CihPKCT.gif"&gt;

          Reply
          1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
            Jeff Glucker

            <img src="http://i.imgur.com/b1PNI.gif"&gt;

          2. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
            Scandinavian Flick ★

            <img src="http://i.imgur.com/J58aoHi.gif"&gt;

          3. Jeff Glucker Avatar
            Jeff Glucker

            <img src="http://i.imgur.com/Scnyl.gif"&gt;

          4. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
            Scandinavian Flick ★

            <img src="http://i1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb409/nishaiv/CantDealWithIt.gif"&gt;

  7. Vavon Avatar
    Vavon

    Shant J is in tha house, yay! Bienvenu parmi nous!

    Reply
  8. quattrovalvole Avatar
    quattrovalvole

    Welcome, Shant! New writers always bring a breath of fresh air, and I'm looking forward to your piece in the near future.
    As for the CR-Z, nice ride! I don't believe that an enthusiast should be judged by his ride (e.g. my slushbox Civic says nothing about my obsession with Eunos Cosmos and the 300SEL 6.3).

    Reply
  9. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick ★

    Welcome, Shant! I look forward to what you'll be bringing us!
    Nice Prius!
    *runs away*

    Reply
    1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      Relevant: http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Br…
      And thanks for the warm welcome.

      Reply
      1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
        Scandinavian Flick ★

        Damn, Shant just killed a guy. You might wanna lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.

        Reply
  10. MVEilenstein Avatar
    MVEilenstein

    Welcome aboard!

    Reply
  11. VeeArrrSix Avatar
    VeeArrrSix

    I think I just shanted my jorts.

    Reply
    1. Alff Avatar
      Alff

      You shant make fun of his name.

      Reply
  12. ThirdPedalGirl Avatar
    ThirdPedalGirl

    ::waves::
    Looking forward to your posts here, Shant.

    Reply
  13. engineerd Avatar
    engineerd

    Now that you've come out…as a Hooniverse writer…I have certain demands.
    1. Regular appearance of the #shantworks tag.
    2. An eclectic mix of posts. I want to see your fascination with all the weird and wonderful cars of our universe played out on the big screen.
    3. Can you ask Jeff to call me? He was supposed to send me a paycheck like 8 months ago.
    Welcome!

    Reply
    1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      Oh, there will be plenty of ShantWorks material. Don't worry.

      Reply
      1. Maxichamp Avatar
        Maxichamp

        Hey dude, glad to see you here. Welcome!

        Reply
  14. nobodyfromoppo Avatar
    nobodyfromoppo

    Yay! I mean Oui! French cars!
    <img src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2483/3853362260_3bda0d101e_z.jpg"&gt;

    Reply
    1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick ★

      "Oouuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!"

      Reply
  15. duurtlang_ Avatar
    duurtlang_

    Shant! No time no see. I hadn't expected to see you here, not as a writer at least. Like you might remember I share your passion for French cars, as my avatar (and my daily driver) proves.

    Reply
  16. danleym Avatar
    danleym

    "Of particular note is my questionable affection for the Malaise Era."
    Yep, you'll fit in here. It seems I share this same affliction. I'm also the resident AMC nut, so you get extra kudos for tossing out the Gremlin X in your first post. Welcome!

    Reply
    1. Metric Wrench Avatar
      Metric Wrench

      Why not Malaise au France? Jez Peugeot 505 Diesel!

      Reply
  17. mdharrell Avatar
    mdharrell

    "…microcars… affection for the Malaise Era… anything French…."
    Yeah, that could work. Welcome!

    Reply
    1. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      Microcar, Malaise Era, French… This should tickle your fancy!
      <img src="http://www.mobil-eco.com/images/VE/theihol_citadine_1.jpg"&gt; http://www.mobil-eco.com/pages/conservatoire/teil…

      Reply
      1. mdharrell Avatar
        mdharrell

        Hey, a Teilhol! With another Teilhol parked in front of it! Very nice.

        Reply
  18. calzonegolem Avatar
    calzonegolem

    <img src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-fvL2CK60PYg/TWj36-4x8GI/AAAAAAAAAOY/DzGQnbndtjw/s1600/Citroen_DS_Thailand_butel4.jpg&quot; height ="480" width="640">
    #shantbait
    Wait, am I doing this right?

    Reply
    1. vroomsocko Avatar
      vroomsocko

      Looks right to me. Let me embiggen the roofline a bit.
      <img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b3/1972_Citroen_DS_station_wagon_02.jpg&quot; width="600">
      Welcome aboard!

      Reply
  19. kvnkiley Avatar
    kvnkiley

    The CR-Z aint bad in my book…serious bonus points if its manual though…so? Is she?

    Reply
    1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
      Shant Jaltorossian

      You couldn't MAKE me drive an automatic. 🙂

      Reply
      1. kvnkiley Avatar
        kvnkiley

        thank the lawd.

        Reply
      2. Irishzombieman☆ Avatar
        Irishzombieman☆

        <img src="http://static.ed.edmunds-media.com/unversioned/img/long-term/2012-jeep-wrangler/2012_Wrangler_1600_Jeep_truckhaven_serpent_head-thumb-717×478-115925.jpg&quot; width="400/">
        Middle of the desert, three days without water and you happen to run across a fully fueled Jeep Wrangler parked next to a dragon's head, with the keys on the seat and a note that says,
        Shant! Thought you might me able to use this! GPS is programmed for the nearest oasis only 11 miles away!
        You look between the seats.
        <img src="http://file.kelleybluebookimages.com/kbb/images/content/editorial/2012-Jeep-Wrangler-Unlimited-Arctic-Edition-interior.jpg&quot; width="300/">
        Hmmmm. . . .
        <img src="http://images.sodahead.com/polls/000879275/confused_answer_3_xlarge.jpeg&quot; width="300/">
        <img src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7153/6486059495_d979f22a23_z.jpg&quot; width="300/">

        Reply
        1. Shant Jaltorossian Avatar
          Shant Jaltorossian

          Evil…

          Reply