What's Your Eleanor? – Edición Tomsk

You don't lose it in the Costco parking lot; you do donuts with it in the Costco parking lot.

I’ve had many four-wheeled crushes over the course of my quarter-century-plus on this giant nugget of cosmic dust, but I guess the one that has endured the longest (even though it hasn’t always been right on the top of my head) is GMC’s resident two-pedal-NSX-slayer, the Typhoon.
I guess the roots of my affection are twofold: first, our neighbors at the time the Typhoon came out had a tan-and-white S15 Jimmy two-door, and second, it just looked so irrefutably bitchin’ to my prepubescent eyes. It wasn’t until later that I came to appreciate the vehicle’s inherent lunacy; I mean, a turbo V6 conservatively rated at 280hp, pavement-biased AWD and suspension tuning, rear seats (which can’t be said for its Syclone forebear) and that subdued (relatively speaking) body kit? Yes please! Sure, it’s automatic-only, pretty much useless as a true SUV, hardly a sports car (though it is vaguely shooting brake-ish if you ignore its truck roots and chug a whole bottle of Brefass Scotch squint hard enough), really too rare to beat on or seriously modify, but dag nabbit, it still holds a bulletproof berth near the tippy-top of my vehicular bucket list.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1TLjwfapeA[/youtube]Lastly: Its name ends with “hoon.” Check and mate, haters.
Further reading at SyTy.org.

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  1. Black Steelies Avatar

    YES!! 5 stars, sir *****

  2. pj134 Avatar

    I love you. I'm not afraid to say it to another man. Please continue.

  3. Prawo Jazdy Avatar
    Prawo Jazdy

    Off topic! But for funny haha's

    1. soo΄pәr-bādd75 Avatar

      Campaign organizer for John Kerry? I knew I sensed some maximum duchiness from that guy!

      1. Prawo Jazdy Avatar
        Prawo Jazdy

        Well it was listed with his aliases. But Maurice probably edited it.

  4. Prawo Jazdy Avatar
    Prawo Jazdy

    Not quite my Eleanor.. but damn close. The '87 GNX will always hold a soft spot in my heart.

    1. Uncle_Bo Avatar

      Mine too

  5. Maymar Avatar

    I do love these trucks, even managed to do a project on the Syclone for a high school science class (it was a project on acceleration or something, we all had to do some kind of vehicle). I just don't know if (in the event of buying one) I'd pick the properly psychotic pickup or the reasonably usable wagon. Then again, I don't think they were sold in Canada, so I'd probably end up in a Trailblazer SS or 9-7x Aero – same idea, but with a stonking V8 instead of the loony turbo 6.

    1. smokyburnout Avatar

      Dude, Canada lets you import noncompliant vehicles after just 15 years! http://www.tc.gc.ca/eng/roadsafety/safevehicles-i… You don't have to limit yourself to what was sold there. You could legally have one of these! http://www.terra2imports.ca/import-japan126016185… (Eunos Mazda Cosmo with the 20B 3-rotor twin-turbo engine!)

      1. Maymar Avatar

        Oh, believe me, I know (because I was supposed to go on a school trip to France, I thought for a while that trying to find and import a Renault Alpine GTA for my first car was a good idea). it'd just be a matter of figuring if it'd be worth it to go through the importing process over something I can already get here.

      2. Maymar Avatar

        Oh, believe me, I know (because I was supposed to go on a school trip to France, I thought for a while that trying to find and import a Renault Alpine GTA for my first car was a good idea). it'd just be a matter of figuring if it'd be worth it to go through the importing process over something I can already get here.

  6. Møbius Avatar

    This is one of the reasons why Hooniverse is so awesome. The hoons just love crazy, strange, and oft-forgotten vehicles that aren't necessarily the fastest, comfiest (apparently it's a word) or in many cases remotely reliable. But we love them nonetheless.
    And that's why I love Hooniverse.

  7. andy wallwhore Avatar
    andy wallwhore

    I read the above and started daydreaming of an AWD Econoline van with this engine. Excellent pick right there. Is the engine derived from the Grand Nats/GNX Turbo V6s or am I mistaken?

    1. Tomsk Avatar

      Nope, it's basically a Chevy 350 minus two cylinders.

  8. TurboBrick Avatar

    There aren't many trucks that I'd like to have but here's one of them. IIRC the maximum cargo capacity was something to the tune of 150lbs. No, that's not missing a zero.

  9. CeRuLeaNBLu Avatar

    I spent the last few days watching an e-bay auction for a beautiful example for a reasonable price, but it was located in one of the northern states that have been blanketed by feet of snow. Not really the type of weather I would want to drive back home to NC in! I was heartbroken to learn that I had missed my chance with my Eleanor on account of weather conditions. Maybe after a good thaw it will become available again, I wish.

  10. Clashtastic Avatar

    I'm looking at buying a Typhoon right now, not exactly what I was looking for, but a pretty clean in great shape Typhoon at the price this guy has it at is a steal and fun and super reasonable and I want it badly.

    1. CptSevere Avatar

      Get it! Don't Be Weak! Do it now, and post a vidya of the thing doing a four-wheel burnout! You owe it to your fellow Hoons.

  11. soo΄pәr-bādd75 Avatar

    Nice one, Tomsk. The Syclone and Typhoon were awesome, and one of GM's few good ideas in the '90s. Sure, they were based on the terrible Sonoma and Jimmy, but the powertrain was good enough to make one ignore that. The problem with either one is that even the super high mileage ones go for stupid money, and you can just about bet that every single one has had its driveline stressed for all it's worth. They can be had though, just bring a wheelbarrow full of cash and a keen eye.

  12. muthalovin Avatar

    This is a very nice Eleanor. The Syclone and Typhoon are very awesome. The 90's were a magical time for performance offshoots like the Lightning and the aforementioned Syclone. Aside from the Raptor, automakers are not being very adventurous with their SUV/truck platforms.

  13. NefariousKunk Avatar

    They need to come up with an engine to compete with the Eco Boost and should bring stuff like this back.

    1. Tomsk Avatar

      They could always crank up the boost and/or add DI to the 2.8T V6 that's available in the Cadillac SRX to yield 350hp or so (plus that Haldex torque-vectoring AWD setup from the Saab 9-3 Turbo X, which also uses the 2.8T) and drop it into a lower, meaner looking Terrain. Some purists would scoff, but I think it'd make a fine 2012 Typhoon. You reading this, Mr. Lutz?

      1. NefariousKunk Avatar

        Yes! Purists me damned! How can we be expected to adhere to such an ideal in these crazy times of badge engineering and rap videos?

  14. Spencer Avatar

    i would give my left nut for a typhoon….they are my one and only eleanor….i just drive a lightning to get me close to it….