Two Trabants: One Terrible, One Topless.

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This weekend just gone saw this years Classics On The Quay, a varied gathering of wheeled machinery hosted graciously by Colchester Kawasaki. I won’t bore you with all the cars that always show up at events like these; there are only so many times I can see a Porsche Carrera GT or a Bugatti Veyron before it gets a bit samey. Instead, I’ll report on those cars which are either a bit more leftfield, or at least a little closer to the Hooniverse Heartland.
Let’s start with a couple of Duroplast beauties. A brace of Trabants, Emphatically not what I was expecting to see today.

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You all know the Trabant. If you were trapped behind the Iron Curtain in the ’70s or ’80s, and you weren’t a high-ranking party official or in some other position of power and influence, if you signed the right paperwork and produced the right credentials then you might, just might, have found yourself on the eternal waiting list to own one of these. This, the P601, was The Official Car of Communism, or may as well have been.
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The “Trabbie” wasn’t really a car at all. Proletariat motorists weren’t given the opportunity to cross-shop against other choices, it was this or nothing. The all-powerful Socialist Unity Party weren’t really all that bothered about any private individuals owning cars at all, but they acknowledged the need for people having a way of getting to work in the morning. So Sachsenring of Zwickau (what the “S” in the emblem means) were supported in developing the P601, which would keep some of the downtrodden mobile, for pretty much the next 30 years.
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Don’t let an increasing, fashion-led resurgence in popularity and a cheeky, characterful silhouette fool you into thinking the Trabant was in any way a pleasant car. Yes, you or I would probably jump in and take it for a spin today and end up with spectacular grins across our stupid faces, but that’s just because we’re silly. We’d all love a go in a Trabi, we all think it would be a bit of a giggle. But the reality of one of these being your sole car was rather more grim.
Despite being (engine aside) technically no inferior to anything else in Eastern Europe at launch in ’63 it rapidly became a joke, and quite a sick one at that. This cramped, slow, noisy conveyance was all the population were seen to have deserved. While those at the top enjoyed lavish appointments at home and on the road, Klaus and Klaudia Public would clatter noisily and dirtily around, the acrid blue smoke of that 28hp two-stroke, twin-cylinder in tow close behind… as well as slowly filling the cabin. It’s interesting to note that, in the ’80s both the cars in the photo above were on the market at the same time. For all that the East-Berliners knew, every car on the road the other side of the wall could have been a 944.
So, if you’re going to have a Trabant for pure grin-inducing purposes, you better make it one of these:
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The Trabant Kübel, still built on a steel frame, and still with body panels made from a blend of Soviet cotton waste and recovered phenyl resins, was a completely different machine from the windscreen backwards.
Like the well-known VW Kübelwagens, and the Mini Moke, for that matter, the Kubel made do without doors. There was a roof, if you wanted it, with all the structural integrity of tissue and coathangers. For a degree of weatherproofing canvas panels could be fitted to fill the void on each side.
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These utilitarian contraptions were, obviously, developed with the military and certain government agencies in mind, but this particular machine is a slightly later civilian version, the type which would become known as the tramp. Interestingly, only 926 of these were ever made, the majority being exported to Greece, where the standard-fit auxiliary heater of the Kübel probably wouldn’t be so useful. The Mil-spec version numbered over 8000.
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This seems like the perfect machine if you want to experience the joy of driving a Trabant without having to suffer the misery of, er, driving a Trabant.
(Images copyright Chris Haining / Hooniverse 2015)
 

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  1. P161911 Avatar
    P161911

    I still remember my AP European History exam. The essay question was compare communist Eastern Europe to capitalist western Europe. This was in 1991. I went on to compare the Trabant to the Mercedes 300 SL Gullwing.

    1. smalleyxb122 Avatar
      smalleyxb122

      Shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall, there was a car magazine (I think it was Car and Driver) that had a feature with a parody illustration of a car with a Mercedes Benz front end and the back end of a Trabant. I can’t seem to find it online, and I certainly don’t have the issue anymore.

    2. dead_elvis Avatar
      dead_elvis

      I’d love to read that. (No snark, for real.)
      I was lucky to spend a good chunk of the summer of 1986 in pre-unification Germany, including a week in Berlin – West AND East. I was the only one on the trip spending much time gawking at the Trabis, Skodas, and other assorted Eastern Bloc automotive travesties. (That summer also had a serious impact on my lack of enthusiasm for BudMillerCoors & their ilk, but this isn’t Brewniverse.)

      1. Sjalabais Avatar
        Sjalabais

        Did you get to drive any?
        I was born on the wrong side of the curtain in 1982. You wouldn’t believe how quickly Eastern cars were abandoned, and how the car market was sucked dry. Western wrecks were sold for outrageous prices – a Trabant could easily be had for a case of the beer you got a taste for.
        http://www.foto-blog.skadissolution.de/wp-content/gallery/verfall/trabifriedhof.jpg

        1. GC Avatar
          GC

          The funny part is they’re coming back. Nostalgia! Lots of people buy old Ladas, Polish Fiats, aircooled Skodas, etc and restore them. I’d love to get my hands on one someday as well!

          1. nanoop Avatar
            nanoop

            As I heard from the TSTpodcast, talking to the man doing the ICON 4×4 stuff: “Nostalgia is when the people forget how shitty the cars actually were.”
            Edit (Enter vs. shift-enter, sorry):
            Most cars were ok when new, they just didn’t stop making them for 30 years…
            My only self-drive Trabi event taught me two things: 1. I want a project car I don’t have to rely on, but wrench on. 2. Turning left at stoplights and flicking in the 2nd gear just by sticking out the right hand index finger, hand still at the steering wheel, is the essential Trabi feeling.

          2. Sjalabais Avatar
            Sjalabais

            Totally agreed, everything is coming back. I myself last for an old Volga, a GAZ 24. All people-in-the-know when it comes to Volga will answer the same thing to that: But it’s the 21 that is the good Volga! Quality is not really essential to nostalgia.
            The Germans have their own word for Eastern bloc nostalgia, based on the German word for east: “Ost” – “Ostalgie”.

        2. dead_elvis Avatar
          dead_elvis

          1982?! I figured you were closer to my vintage (’70), what with your fondness for elderly Swedes. Just goes to show that “never assume” remains good, solid advice. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to do any driving while there. Probably a good thing, with my freshly minted driver’s license having already borne witness to my totaling an ’82 Toyota Corolla Tercel, just 11 days after receiving said license. (Nothing like wrecking a car, spending a couple days in the hospital recuperating from a fractured skull & the attendant concussion, then leaving town for the summer. Meanwhile, the wrecked Toyota heap is left in a very visible spot in town, looking much worse than the accident was since I was cut out of it. Given the nature of gossip in a very small town, it made for some very interesting & hilarious conversations when I got back.)
          Somewhere, I’ve still got the badge from the back of the Toyota, as well as the GMC grill logo of the truck I t-boned myself into – that emblem landed in the back seat of the Toyota.

  2. Tanshanomi Avatar

    Time to put this here again?

    1. mzszsm Avatar
      mzszsm

      Why I guess it makes perfect sense for me to delay my IL taxes for another 90 minutes… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMk208Op1Jc

  3. theskitter Avatar

    The Trabant Kubel. Mind blown. Early HCOTY contender. Almost, but not quite entirely unlike a Polaris RZR.

  4. Fred Russell Avatar
    Fred Russell

    Are you sure it isn’t the Trabant Moke?

  5. SlowJoeCrow Avatar
    SlowJoeCrow

    I think the soft top is actually a civilian Trabant Tramp rather than Kubel (think VW Thing vs. military VW 181). The sad thing is that was from memory although I looked it up for confirmation.

    1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

      I mentioned the non-militariness of this one in the text. The spare wheel disk is definitely not Mil-Spec.

  6. Joe Btfsplk Avatar
    Joe Btfsplk

    This thing reminds me of a ‘dune buggy’ with the “fun” beaten out of it with a shovel.

    1. Batshitbox Avatar
      Batshitbox

      Doom Buggy.

      1. Sjalabais Avatar
        Sjalabais

        Did someone here have fun? We’d like a word with you – would you come with us?
        http://www.ak43.de/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/e-h.jpg

  7. Richard Avatar
    Richard

    The soft top Kubelwagen is ex military – built 1972, passed to a council in Berlin, then private after unification in 1990.
    I know, cos it’s mine!
    The Kubelwagen returned to Berlin in Nov 14 to help commemorate 25 years since the Wall fell. Long drive, but good fun!
    Richard