By Alex Kierstein
Forgive what may be the worst cameraphone pics ever, so you may witness the horror that is the worst Honda EVER. Hooniverse is no stranger to hyperbole, but this might not be an exaggeration.
This unholy abomination was sighted smack dab in the middle of the Financial District of San Francisco, and boy did it look out of place among the countless black and silver BMWs. Unfortunately, I was only packing an iPhone and a few beers worth of hand-steadiness, so the resulting pictures tone down the insanity. Look closely at the passenger seat. Is that a seat cover portraying Al Pacino with a double-fistfull of cashola? Yessir, it sure is.
All I know is this: it started life as a Del Sol, and is now covered with every single stick-on plastic bobble you can find in a lousy auto parts store, and then some. One parting thought: it was covered with no less than 50 of those fake bullet hole stickers. If only some of them were real …
Jeff Glucker
That dude took a wrong turn through AutoZone. Then plowed through the Pep Boys across the street. Then slammed into the local Honda mod shop. Then backed over any sense of dignity, crushing it to death.
I'm guessing his sense of dignity was run over closer to the beginning of his misbegotten adventure, but otherwise spot on.
I really hope, for humanity's sake, that this is the result of a lost bet and not somebody's expression of their tastes.
When he parks this thing, and walks away from it, do you think he stops as he's shoving his keys into his pocket, turns around and admires this insult for a second smiling before he walks away? That would make me vomit.
Fire.