The News for March 8th, 2013 [w/ bonus Editor Rant]

laferrarilead

Welcome to the Hooniverse News – Geneva Motor Show Edition! This weekly recap features the four biggest unveilings at the show without the fluff or the bull. I also throw in a little opinion of mine, just because I can. This week:

  • The LaFerrari is your new Ferrari supercar – no, really

  • Lamborghini Veneno is an Aventador gone mad

  • Chevrolet makes the C7 Convertible official

  • Porsche’s 5th generation 911 GT3 is ready to roll

  • Plus complete show coverage from Autoweek

Ferrari LaFerrari

laferrari1

This, dear readers, is the Ferrari. No really, it’s the Ferrari. The highly-anticipated successor to the Enzo isn’t called the F70 or the F150 like we were led to believe after all – it’s simply called LaFerrari, which is Italian for “the Ferrari”. That’s supposed to signify the car’s uniqueness within the company’s rich history of road cars, but I think it really means they weren’t given enough wine to be imaginative that day. Regardless of the silly name, what exactly makes this the Ferrari? 

Well, how does 963 horsepower sound? A 6.3-liter V12 which screams all the way to 9,250 RPM contributes 800 horsepower to that while an electric motor adds the remaining 163 horsepower. 664 lb.-ft. of torque is available from a fairly low RPM and that all gets sent to the back wheels through a 7-speed dual-clutch transmission for launches quick enough to put the 0-60 time well below 3 seconds. The quickness doesn’t stop at 60, as 0-100 is expected to take less than 7 seconds, 0-186 in 15 seconds, and eventually on to a top speed greater than 217 mph. It also boasts a fuel economy average of 16.6 mpg thanks to its hybrid-like drive train. The 132-pound battery is even assembled by the same guys who build the Kinetic Energy Recovery Systems currently used in the Ferrari 138 F1 car.

laferrari2

The styling, while penned by Pininfarina, is mostly formed by wind tunnel testing. Aerodynamics play a key part here, with a functional, F1-like lower front wing, a back end filled with diffusers, and all sorts of other active aero bits in between. The styling out back is said to be inspired by the Le Mans racers of the 60’s (just not the ones that lost). So not only does the styling make it look like a racecar, but it also has the functionality of one too.

The racing elements don’t end there either, as the car comes with 15.6″ front and 15″ rear carbon ceramic brakes by Brembo, an F1-style traction control system, an electronic differential, and magnetorheological damping. The price tag of ~ €1 million (est.) is racecar-like, too. Only 499 examples will ever be built, and all have reportedly been sold well before the car’s world debut.

Source: Ferrari, Autoweek

Lamborghini Veneno

lamboveneno1

The other major Italian supercar company was in Geneva as well. The car they brought out to play was this monster you see here,  called the Veneno. Built to celebrate the company’s 50th anniversary, this 1-of-3 supercar shares a platform and powertrain with the popular Aventador, but that’s about it.

The Aventador’s carbon fiber/polymer monocoque chassis is the base for what is probably the most radical car in company history, and the 6.5-liter, 740 horsepower V12 is the heart. The shell, on the other hand, takes the insanity level up to 11, with more vents, more arches, and more fins all around. Just some of the features include the big adjustable rear wing out back, vents on the bonnet which allow for maximum cooling, a shark fin which makes it look angry, and scissor doors to make it look cool when you get out. The purpose behind all this (minus the doors) is to make the car look as track-focused as it is. 

lamboveneno2

The track-focused-ness continues to the interior, which is adorned with loads of carbon fiber and certain parts of the carbon monocoque chassis even remain exposed. Each of the three customer cars is getting coated in the same metallic gray paint and will also feature accents that display just one color of the Italian flag. A fourth car is going to the Lamborghini Museum and is the only one with all three colors of the Italian flag on its side, which is the one pictured. The price of all this is set at a cool $4 million, in case you were wondering, and all three customer cars have already been taken.

Source: Lamborghini via Autoweek

Corvette (C7) Stingray Convertible

c7convert1

The 7th generation Corvette is back in the news this week. A drop-top Stingray was inevitable, and this week we’ve finally got official images and some other long-awaited details of America’s new drop-top icon.

An all-new three-ply fabric top reduces wind noise compared to the last one and features a heated glass rear window for improved luxury. The overall design is supposed to maintain a classy roof line without the bulges from the folding mechanisms. For the first time ever, the folding/unfolding process is completely automatic and can even be operated by the key fob so you can confuse people in the parking lot (you know you’d do it, too). The top is stowed away neatly just behind the seats and under a painted hard cover. Interestingly enough, they say additional structural supports to the aluminum frame were not needed for the convertible. We don’t have official curb weight figures yet, but is GM claiming a power-to-weight-ratio that is almost identical between the coupe and convertible. 

c7convert2

Of course, the 6.2-liter V8 and 7-speed manual (or 6-speed automatic) are still part of the package. Pricing is not available yet for both the coupe and convertible C7, but expect to see the convertible arrive in showrooms globally late this year, or about three months after the coupe arrives. GM also used the stage at Geneva to show off the C7’s left-hand-drive availability around the world.

Source: GM

Porsche 911 GT3

991gt3

The newest generation of the 911 is finally getting its first higher-performance model (relatively speaking) with the unveiling of the 2014 Porsche 911 (991) GT3. For the 5th generation GT3, Porsche is combining familiar GT3 styling cues with the new base design, bringing in more power than ever before, and further improving the driving dynamics that makes the GT3 one of the go-to cars for performance freaks like us.

Power comes from a 3.8-liter flat-six somewhat based off the standard Carrera engine. I say somewhat, because Porsche has claimed there are enough performance enhancements to make the engines more unlike each other than ever before, though they only mentioned forged pistons and titanium connecting rods by name. All that is good for a new output of 475 horsepowerThe GT3’s bespoke engine is nice, but the rest of the powertrain may just be a deal breaker. The only transmission available is an enhanced version of Porsche’s 7-speed PDK dual-clutch gearbox. Despite how awesome the PDK transmission is in every other Porsche, does an enthusiast-focused car like the GT3 really not deserve a manual option anymore? I can forgive a car for not having a manual option if it still offers a superior driving experience, which a GT3 surely will. Either way, the new GT3 will hit 60 mph in 3.3 seconds and 124 mph in under 12 seconds. The top speed is roughly 195 mph.

991gt3_1

Just a few of the many bespoke performance features on the new GT3 include lightweight alloy wheels with center locking hubs, an electric locking rear diff, dynamic engine mounts, and a production-Porsche first active rear wheel steering, which allows the rear wheels to steer in the same or opposite direction as the front to improve stability. A new suspension lowers the car and adds stiffness while a bespoke body kit all around improves aerodynamics and stuff.

The 2014 Porsche 911 GT3 will go on sale in the U.S. late this year for $130,400 (not including destination).

Source: Porsche

Complete Coverage from Autoweek

vwgolfwagon

If you’re still looking for more Geneva Motor Show coverage, our partners at Autoweek have got you covered, as always. Full coverage, including many cars I didn’t have room to talk about, plus live photos can all be found over on Autoweek.com.

————————————————-

RANT TIME…. Courtesy of your Executive Editor

One of my favorite posts during the week is Greg’s news piece. This is my little slice of new-car fun in a world filled with a whole lot more interested vehicles. You know I love the old metal, but I also love new, shiny, shapely sultry, stunning stuff. Now… this is the week were we see what’s going on in Geneva.

So, there’s some great fun stuff being shown.

I … can’t think of any of it, besides a few pics of the Gulf-liveried Morgan three-wheeler. That vehicle makes me want to find funding for Raising Arizona 2 just so I can hear that song while driving that thing. (Greatest Cage movie ever? The only answer is yes… you’re still singing the chorus to the song I linked to).

Here’s where the rant comes in: Is the Ferrari LaFerrari the worst car name of all time? Now, I’m happy to see a non alphanumeric jumble of letters and numbers. But Ferrari LaFerrari? I made a joke on Twitter saying I’d name my next dog Jeff LaJeff, but that’s clearly a joke because my two dachshunds are never going to die. The point is, however, that adding a La to the first part of your name doesn’t grant you an automatic surname. This is a terrible name. It’s one of the worst vehicular nomenclatures of all time.

Ferrari has taken what amounts to a lame stage name for an uncreative stripper, and given that young lady center stage… and Drake has a cardboard box full of more money than you made this year.

Now let me apply my old-man hat for a moment, and ask you a question. What happened to naming the cars after something meaningful? Ferrari LaFerrari means, and I don’t even need Google here I’m going with Bing Translate, Ferrari… THE.. FERRARI. Remember the Duster? Remember the Syclone or Typhoon? Call it the Ferrari Gnocchi… and I’d find a way to make it work. “It’s a tight mixture of fight, ingenuity, engineering, and maybe a dash or Parmesan… and it’s amazing.” But no… the Ferrari LaFerrari is the worst name ever.

Minus all the alphanumeric bullshit from BMW. /Rant

P.S. I’d marry the GT3, f&*k the Veneno, and kill the LaFerrari

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87 responses to “The News for March 8th, 2013 [w/ bonus Editor Rant]”

  1. MVEilenstein Avatar
    MVEilenstein

    Re: Veneno:
    Sharply angled headlights, silver paint, sharkfin stabilizer . . . well-played Audi, well played.

  2. Devin Avatar
    Devin

    The Italians are really off on their naming lately. LaFerrari is bad, but Veneno can only sound like a drunk person or a baby (or a drunk baby) trying to say "Venereal."

    1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
      Peter Tanshanomi

      I think the next Italian supercar should be called LaNeener. As in, "I've got la Italian supercar and you don't. La neener neener neener."

    2. ianalminger Avatar
      ianalminger

      Veneno is spanish for poison. Even if the car is really ugly, the name is appropiate (It poisons my vision)

  3. danleym Avatar
    danleym

    Maybe it's because I've grown up, maybe it's because I've realized that I will never have the money to own one, or maybe it's because Italian designers are too bent on making something edgy to make something appealing, but the latest round of supercars does nothing to excite me. At least while looking at them. I'm sure I'd still be positively giddy if someone was going to let me drive one.

    1. Kogashiwa Avatar
      Kogashiwa

      The F50 was, I think, the last one I really wanted.

    2. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar

      +1 plus I think a Supercar should do more than just be fast on smooth asphalt, it's like Superman only could fly.

    3. craigsu Avatar
      craigsu

      Perhaps you should look to Sweden instead.
      <img src="http://newcareleases.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2013-Koenigsegg-Agera-R.jpg&quot; width="600" border="0" style="border:none;" alt=" " />
      Koenigsegg Agera R

      1. craigsu Avatar
        craigsu

        Or the Netherlands.
        <img src="http://photos.evo.co.uk/images/front_picture_library_UK/dir_1129/car_photo_564661_7.jpg&quot; width="600" border="0" style="border:none;" alt=" " />
        Spyker V6 Venator

  4. JayP2112 Avatar
    JayP2112

    No Parcour?
    For some reason I love this car. Maybe it's the anti-supercar with the lift, big tires? And the name fits.
    If I were a teenager, I'd have this car's poster on my wall. (Do kids still do that? Maybe cell phone wallpaper?)
    <img src="http://images.gizmag.com/inline/parcour-2.JPG"&gt;

    1. Kamil_K Avatar

      Me too… sports car with off-road ability, best of both world.
      Or the worst of both worlds, depending how you look at it.

    2. Kamil_K Avatar

      Also, very Stratos-y!

    3. pj134 Avatar
      pj134

      It's like a coked out STi or Evo, what's not to love?

    4. Manic_King Avatar
      Manic_King

      Reminds my of Mega Track, french luxury off-roader from eighties or nineties:
      <img src="http://cars-database.com/data_images/models/mega-track/mega-track-03.jpg"&gt;

      1. CherokeeOwner Avatar
        CherokeeOwner

        A flexin' frenchie supercar. Niiiiice.

  5. Number_Six Avatar
    Number_Six

    New Corvette: f*ck it
    Veneno: kill it
    GT3: sorry, it's invisible so I can't comment on it
    LaFerrari: put it in stocks in the town square and pelt it with rotten cabbage for a day or two, then drag it around Modena whilst chanting "death to LaFerrari"; have it quarted by tying each corner to a brace of F40s and 288GTOs; distribute each quarter to the four corners of Italy and bury them
    New Golf Estate: marry it

  6. $kaycog Avatar
    $kaycog

    Dear Mr. Executive LaEditor,
    I agree with you. It is LaStupid.

    1. Kamil_K Avatar

      Wait… Jeff is EXECUTIVE now?
      Shit, when did that happen?

      1. danleym Avatar
        danleym

        Oh snap, Hooniverse power grab!
        And I was here for it! Someday I'll be able to tell my grandkids about the day when I saw the Right Hoonorable Supreme Commander Glucker take his first step toward Hooniversal domination.

      2. Jeff Glucker Avatar
        Jeff Glucker

        It's been like that for awhile, chump…

      3. $kaycog Avatar
        $kaycog

        Who's Jeff?

        1. Kamil_K Avatar

          Better question would be – what's an editor?

          1. MVEilenstein Avatar
            MVEilenstein

            I think it's like a blooger. Chief blooger.

        2. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
          Scandinavian Flick

          Whose Jeff?
          Ours?

          1. pj134 Avatar
            pj134

            We have a Jeff?

          2. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
            Scandinavian Flick

            Yeah, I think he drives a… like… a Land Rover… or something? I remember it's in his name…. ExplorerJeff? HummerJeff?

          3. danleym Avatar
            danleym

            I thought it was RidgelineJeff…

          4. Alff Avatar

            I think he has a lifetime supply of Nissan Leafs.

          5. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
            Peter Tanshanomi

            He dated Britney Spears at one time, I think.

          6. jeepjeff Avatar
            jeepjeff

            No, no, I'm pretty sure he has a Murano CrossCabriolet.
            Wait a second…
            <img src="https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7068156928/hAE218F9C/"&gt;

          7. Jeff Glucker Avatar
            Jeff Glucker

            hahahaha, i love this GIF

        3. Vavon Avatar
          Vavon

          The future owner of Jeff LaJeff?

          1. $kaycog Avatar
            $kaycog

            Ooh la la, LaJeff!

          2. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar

            In French woudn't that be Chef LeChef?

        4. danleym Avatar
          danleym

          This guy.
          <img src="http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8096/8540516258_c9317d8952_b.jpg&quot; width=600>
          (Yes, I suck at photoshop. Actually, I don't have photoshop, so that's my amazing MSpaint skills)

          1. $kaycog Avatar
            $kaycog

            That's hilarious!

          2. Jeff Glucker Avatar
            Jeff Glucker

            I wish I had a mustache like that…

          3. jeepjeff Avatar
            jeepjeff

            http://mcphee.com/shop/jumbo-handlebar-mustache.h
            $4.95 + Shipping and Handling. It will almost get you that "drawn on with MS Paint" look.

  7. BlackIce_GTS Avatar
    BlackIce_GTS

    (The?) LaFerrari and the Enzo (Ferrari) officially don't have the manufacturer name as part of their title, it's just 'LaFerrari', not 'Ferrari LaFerrari'. This is at least 30% less stupid.
    I'm not sure if you're supposed to call it 'the LaFerrari', but I won't.

    1. danleym Avatar
      danleym

      It is at the same time 30% less stupid and 50% more arrogant and snobbish, so I think we can just call it a wash.

  8. Wolfie Avatar
    Wolfie

    May as well call it The Ferrari "La Never".
    As in I will Never Drive, Ride in or See one in person.

  9. muthalovin Avatar

    All of these vehicles will look fantastic wrecked in a ditch.
    Edit: LeDitch.

  10. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    That name makes me think of nothing other than this.
    <img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3275/2412301402_85c9123dd8.jpg"&gt;

    1. MVEilenstein Avatar
      MVEilenstein

      Chevrolet El Camino.

    2. Manic_King Avatar
      Manic_King

      Exactly, that new car is not Ferrari Laferrari, it is just LaFerrari as in "THE Ferrari". Can't really go anywhere further with superlatives. Having used Enzo's name already they probably felt that it's justified name but god is it stupid. And car is better looking than any other current Ferrari IMO, burn me.
      Lambo is just idiotic but these 3 owners make surely nice profit just by keeping these cars in garage for 15-20 years.

    3. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      I'll just leave this here…
      <img src="http://www.renault-5.net/promo/promo_autocollant.jpg"&gt;

      1. mdharrell Avatar

        True, by French automotive standards.

          1. mdharrell Avatar

            What, they're not all like mine?

          2. jeepjeff Avatar
            jeepjeff

            Some of them have oleopneumatic rube goldberg devices instead of springs.

          3. mdharrell Avatar

            That sounds like a lot of extra trouble just to hold a set of drive rollers against the tires. I'll stick with springs.

          4. jeepjeff Avatar
            jeepjeff

            They're simple enough in their way. They use one hydraulic circuit for the oleopneumatic springs and the brakes!

          5. Vairship Avatar
            Vairship

            And the clutch, and the transmission, and the power steering…

        1. Fred LA Avatar
          Fred LA

          You know BUGATTI is French, right?

          1. mdharrell Avatar

            Ettore Bugatti chose to move from his native Italy to Germany in order to set up shop. His estate and factory were within the area that was later ceded to France following WWI, after which the subsequent cars became French.
            If you mean the current crop of Volkswagens, those are called "Bugattis" only because VW bought the rights to a defunct marque rather than put their own name on them, a decision I find in poor taste. As far as I'm concerned, the history of Bugatti automobiles ends with the Types 251 and 252 of 1955-56, and even those count only because of the involvement of one of Ettore's sons, Roland. The EB110 and the VWs may very well be interesting automobiles but it would have been better for their makers to show the courage of offering them under their own names instead of attempting to purchase the glamour from someone else's achievements of long ago.
            So yes, I've heard of them, thanks.

          2. Vavon Avatar
            Vavon

            I doubt Fred LA got the subtleties of our little (almost private) joke…
            Obviously I agree completely with your last comment, although it seems a bit harsh. 🙂

          3. mdharrell Avatar

            Oh, I know, but the crass reanimation of this greatest of all automotive marques is a sore subject for me, particularly as it was utterly unnecessary. The recent cars could have stood entirely on their own merits; they didn't need to be saddled with the wrong name.
            Not that I'm bitter.

  11. pj134 Avatar
    pj134

    F the GT3 and it's dirty, dirty rear tires.
    Marry the Veneno because I have a thing for Italian girls that are different but not unattractive. Also, I probably don't deserve to be truly happy.
    Kill the LatheFerrari the laferrari rari.

  12. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
    Peter Tanshanomi

    Gina: It's called The La Trattoria.
    Michael: You mean La Trattoria.
    Gina: No.
    Michael: The La Trattoria means The The Trattoria.
    Gina: I know.
    Michael: Interesting. Look I have to go to the La Bathroom, and I'll be back in a sec.

    1. Vairship Avatar
      Vairship

      See also:
      The La Brea Tar pits (a.k.a The The Tar Tar pits)
      and the Los Angeles Angels (a.k.a. The The Angels Angels).

  13. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick

    To emphasize just how stupid that name is, I actually glazed over the performance specs because my mind was just way too full of fuck to comprehend anything beyond that ludicrously redundant nomenclature.

    1. Kogashiwa Avatar
      Kogashiwa

      Laffer ari

    2. Maxichamp Avatar

      Yup. I learned about the car days ago and just now discovered it has 900+ hp.

      1. jeepjeff Avatar
        jeepjeff

        I caught the 900Hp, but the burning question for me is: do the people who buy it get to actually own it? Or just the rights to one? I mean, maybe the buy-the-car-but-Ferrari-keeps-it deal is a good thing in this case. You never have to explain to any friends about the name of your Ferrari when they see it parked in your garage.

        1. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
          Scandinavian Flick

          Ferrari LaFXX

  14. Alff Avatar

    I like Ferrari LaFerrari. I'd park it next to my Ram Ram.

  15. Vavon Avatar
    Vavon

    So of all the cars here, the only good looking one is the Corvette… 'Murica FTW!
    Speaking of rants, I think there is an even worse sin on the Geneva Motorshow than that ridiculous LeSupercar!
    The Alfa Romeo 4C! So strikingly beautiful even I started lusting after that small Alfa Romeo.
    All they had to do, was put it in production… And then they let some dick put on new headlights… WTF???
    They might as well have gone all the way and call it Alfa Romeo La Alfa Romeo!
    <img src="http://m1.autonews.fr/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/alfa-4C-home.jpg"&gt;

    1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      Agreed, the headlights are awful.

    2. MVEilenstein Avatar
      MVEilenstein

      It looks like an eye infection.

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi

        I was thinking more of a cross between spiders' eyes and a toad hatching its young out of it's back.
        <img src="http://bugguide.net/images/raw/3KARJK1RJKVRZQDQJKTQI03Q50NRM0NR80YQ80TQM0NRFKWRKQFRMQORN0ORMQ3R7QH0W0S00QURHQ.jpg&quot; width="380">
        <img src="http://cdn1.arkive.org/media/72/721DAE0A-C68C-4C83-82C0-62CE942A2383/Presentation.Medium/Suriname-toad-with-young-emerging-from-its-back.jpg&quot; width="380">
        In either case, NOT sexy.

        1. Vavon Avatar
          Vavon

          My eyes!!! No not mine, but… Oh you know what mean! 😉

      2. jeepjeff Avatar
        jeepjeff

        Maybe it was hanging out with a Mitsuoka Orochi and caught whatever it has.

    3. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      Alfa Spyder-eyes?

    4. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick

      Ew… Looks like something an import tuner would put on it after a trip to Pep Boys…
      Are they trying to make it look like a Lotus?
      Lotus flower that is… The seed pod specifically…
      <img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr4349wQbB1qbd3yro1_500.jpg"&gt;

    5. Alff Avatar

      I'm guessing there will be an aftermarket solution for that.

      1. Vavon Avatar
        Vavon

        Probably the first time in car history that something aftermarket will actually look better than OEM!

    6. IronBallsMcG Avatar

      I guess Alfa has given up on the trypophobic market.

    7. craigsu Avatar
      craigsu

      "the only good looking one is the Corvette…"
      As someone who can't stand the look of any Corvette made after 1967 this does not bode well for the car industry, IMO.

  16. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick

    I really like the GT3 as always, and I think the C7 makes a damn fine looking 'vert.
    Also, I'd like to put a vote in for a Weekly Chief Blooger rant.

  17. Tomsk Avatar

    At this rate, the name of Ferrari's next halo car is going to be an unpronounceable, good-luck-finding-it-in-Character-Map symbol. I just hope they have the good sense to ask this guy how that worked out for him before it's too late.
    <img src="http://images.undertheradar.co.nz/images/image.php/prince620.jpg?width=620&cropratio=1:1&image=/images/newsImages/prince620.jpg&quot; width="500">

    1. JayP2112 Avatar
      JayP2112

      At this rate, it will be called:
      <img src="http://www.shorey.net/Auto/Italian/Ferrari/Ferrari%20Prancing%20Horse.jpg&quot; width="300">

      1. craigsu Avatar
        craigsu

        Why is there a bent fork coming out of your horse's rear end?

    2. Vavon Avatar
      Vavon

      After that there will be the TUFFKALF (The Ultimate Ferrari Formerly Known As LaFerrari)…
      I think Duurtlang will like this one too, as in Dutch this translates to spitcalf…!

  18. POLAЯ Avatar
    POLAЯ

    I think I busted a veneno in my pants.