Last weekend I had the pleasure(?) of dispensing justice upon the miscreant drivers of the 24 Hours of LeMons “Good Enough Grand Prix” at Sonoma Raceway. It was a small field comprised of teams that had been wait-listed for December’s Sonoma race mixed with a bunch of die-hards. As a result the BMW count (particularly e30s and e36s) was higher than usual (as these teams tend to be skipped over in favor of Ramblers and Super Snipes). Very Hooniverse builds (like the 440-powered M-B or blown 3800-powered Suzuki/S-10 thing) were few and far between. However, the overall combination of crappy/awesome intrinsic to LeMons tends to extend to tow vehicles as well. I’m sure Murilee Martin’s wrap up will show up at Car and Driver any moment now, but in the meantime let’s take a look at the (as Jay would say) Hella butt awesome tow/camping rigs of LeMons.

I apologize in advance for the potato-grade image quality on these shots. I was wandering around drunk in the paddock at night with no tripod, attempting not to bug people with a flash.

First off (pictured above), this COE hauled team #146’s notch-back Fox-body. What’s cooler than a ramp-back COE’s from the 60s? Not much.

I stumbled upon this pile of expedition-ized Land Cruisers with roof tents. Judging by the idle clatter I heard, at least one of these was a diesel (and none of these models came to the US in diesel form). FJ40 pickup, FJ60/62 and an FJ80; looks like they’ve still got an opening for an FJ55 on the squad. (Daytime picture courtesy Murilee Martin)

This 1980s heavy-duty econoline was arguably the most LeMons rig I saw. Likely sporting either an early Powerstroke or a 460ci v8 getting 8mpg, it’s got room for the family, the guts to haul a decent enclosed trailer and the whole thing probably cost less than one of those Land Cruiser’s rooftop tents.

Next up is Anton Lovett’s “RV”. The California Air Resources Board (ironically “CARB”) has cracked down on particulate emissions from commercial diesel trucks, essentially requiring retirement or engine swaps on all 2010 or older commercial diesels. As a result, vehicles like this 25ish foot Grumman step van can be had for super cheap. Unfortunately, registration of a big-ass diesel truck for personal use is still a costly proposition, unless it’s an RV. The logic being that RVs spend most of their time parked or traveling elsewhere anyway. To register as an RV, your vehicle must have something like four of six items such as a sink, cooking apparatus, sleeping arrangement, etc (I just tried to search the CA DMV site for the details, but you know: CA DMV). Anyway, to check the necessary boxes Anton bolted in a cooler, sink and microwave. Meanwhile, he uses an extensive series of ramps to get his Cavalier/Cimarron into the cargo bay. Where it rolls up right behind his back. There was debate whether an internal driver’s cage or ejection system would be the better safety solution.

(Interior picture courtesy Murilee Martin)

Not necessarily up to tow rig duty, but still pretty bitchin’ was this butched-up Westy. Those larger BFG ATs fit with no major suspension modifications, while the front and rear receiver bumpers and Warn multi-mount winch provide further offroad utility. While not a four-wheel-drive Syncro model, the owner told me it’s taken him everywhere he’s wanted to go. Asked how much he uses it, he replied “Oh yeah, some. A few long weekends here or there, then a full week once a year, then every once an a while a real long trip all around the country and back”. While I wouldn’t trust it to make to to the other Home Depot that’s farther away, apparently this dude’s managed to get his dialed. Bonus lowered Vanagon next door.

Last but not least, someone on the Sunday Funday “Drag Racers” team (of previous Slave Labor Penalty “fame”) has my Suburban. Ok, not mine yet, but pretty much exactly what I’ll be replacing the Wagoneer with soon one day once it’s done once I give up on it whatever. 3/4 ton, mild lift, malaise brown and that ladder on the back, oh my.