The Epitome of Anti-Hoon: EZ Rimz 4 Rent

EZ Rims 4 Rent
There’s a guy I know, let’s call him Jim, who upon seeing the umpteenth strip mall in a row, more than 5 minutes of network TV, or a stretch Hummer limo full of homecoming royalty texting to each other from across its velveteen interior, is liable to shake his head and mutter about the “cultural bankruptcy” of America. Jim, I really hope you don’t ever visit that particular hell-hole known as Ontario, California, because you’d run across ground zero of the coming cultural apocalypse. Rent or buy? A more fitting choice would be, raze or burn?
EZ Rimz 4 Rent

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  1. Jeff Glucker Avatar
    Jeff Glucker

    They see me rentin'… my credits hurtin'…

  2. PowerTryp Avatar

    LOL! I read that as EZ Rims R Bent, which if I was renting, I'd have no problem with.

    1. SeanKHotay Avatar

      You're not the only one who read it that way! 😉

  3. Ash78 Avatar

    If rental rims is a new concept in your area, I can guarantee you’re not at Ground Zero.
    My favorite part is that there are a couple places in town that have car title pawn shops in the same strip mall as the rim rental shop. There’s probably a “yo dawg” meme in there.

  4. engineerd Avatar

    I'm from Ontario, CA. On first reading this I thought, "Here we go again. Some LA or OC snob is ripping on the IE." And, to an extent, you are. However, I have to admit that there are parts of Ontario that are like this. Of course, looking at the website, there are also parts of Lawndale, Crenshaw, Moreno Valley (or is that the whole part?), Bellflower, East LA (or, again, the whole part), and Las Vegas.
    We have these in Detroit, too. If I were more evil [and armed] I would put a little ding in one or two rims on every donk I see parked. That must suck to have to buy a rim that's been dinged.

    1. LTDScott Avatar

      Don't worry, 909 has a LOT more things that we can easily rip on, brah.

      1. engineerd Avatar

        You leave my Fox Racing t-shirt and stickers alone!

        1. Tim Odell Avatar
          Tim Odell

          4 foot wide "SKIN" graphic across the back of the 8" front, 4" rear lifted Super Duty with 24" rims and 50-series 36" tires.
          There are some aspects of San Diego that I do not miss since my move to LA.
          I also just realized I've lived in LA almost as long as I lived in SD. Also realizing that I've lived in SoCal almost as long as I lived in the Bay Area. Wierd…

    2. Han_Solex Avatar

      I just want to point out that I'm not singling out Ontario for ridicule. I was just there this weekend to visit the SoCal Edison EV Tech Center, which is in Pomona, and on the way in from the Ontario Airport I spotted the Ontario outlet of this horrifying establishment. Of course, what I did see of Ontario sucked, because I was mostly driving next to an endless stripmall. But the point is, EZ Rimz is the Great Satan, and Ontario was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  5. Alff Avatar

    Someone call Michael Phelps' agent – we've found the perfect endorsement opportunity.

  6. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

    Sigh… remember when 15 inch rims were it? [shakes fist shuffles to porch]

    1. Smells_Homeless Avatar

      Yes, and if I could fit some 15s over my brakes, I'd be sorely tempted to go back to them. I may leave the white letters in the past though.

      1. ptschett Avatar

        I actually reverted my T-bird back to its factory 15"s and Firestone Indy 500 RWL's after rolling on a set of Mark VIII 16's for a few years. I was going to upgrade the brakes but never got around to it, and then I figured I wasn't going to get much benefit out of the 16's when my usual trips involved roads that go 40 miles in a straight line (ahh Red River Valley how I hate thee.)

    2. Maymar Avatar

      Hell, I'm about to downgrade from 15 to 13 inches, and I kind of like it. No room for good brakes, but it's great for getting cheap tires.

  7. scroggzilla Avatar

    I guess we've found another use for that extra battery acid.

    1. CptSevere Avatar

      Yes! That's my answer to that question.

  8. P161911 Avatar

    Florida has a similar outfit. Check out the videos here, they are hilarious:
    Nationwide franchise here.
    Another here:
    This sort of stupidity isn't isolated to Ontario, CA.

    1. Han_Solex Avatar

      Oh, the humanity!

      1. P161911 Avatar

        I'm just mad I didn't think of it. If you want to make money find a way to make money off stupidity. When was the last time you heard of a bail bond business, pawn shop, lottery or casino going out of business? I'm currently working in the lottery/gaming industry and probably have the most secure employment that I have had in a while, although it still isn't really secure. My department might go away, but the company is here to stay.

        1. name_too_long Avatar

          One of my friends' family owns a tire shop, first time he saw this sort of thing he thought it was the stupidest idea ever… still does, way too much risk.
          Not to profile or anything but the sort of person who puts $2,000+ worth of wheel on a car typically isn't the brightest or most financially secure. They are what creditors would refer to as "high risk". So you've got the possibility of non-payment. Then you've also got to remember that you're dealing with wheels, big wheels + low profile tire + little curb crawling or pothole at speed = ruined wheel.

          1. P161911 Avatar

            Not saying that I would do it as a business, but the high cost is why you make sure the 1 out of 5 or 10 that actually does pay all the way to ownership and doesn't break it first pays for the other 4 or 9 that don't. That and I'm sure the same wheel could be rented multiple times.

        1. Han_Solex Avatar

          You couldn't possibly conceive of how hilarious I find this. I once worked with a woman, possibly the least personable and most annoying person I've ever met, who looked exactly like a manatee, who was infatuated with Cirque du Soleil's show "Zumanity." If only I'd put 2 and 2 together at the time!

  9. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    Ahh, Ontario. Home of Newegg and very little else.

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar

      Being the home of Newegg does, therefore, seem to give Ontario its reason for existence.

    2. engineerd Avatar

      MagLite is also based there, as well as one of the most hoontastic driving schools — the LAPD's driving school near the Ontario International Airport.
      It's also the western regional hub for UPS and former home of Ontario Motor Speedway, which was the only track built and sanctioned by USAC, NASCAR, NHRA and FIA F1.
      For our Canadian readers, Ontario is named after the province of Ontario. It's founding fathers, George and William Chaffey, were from Ontario, Canada.

  10. citroen67 Avatar

    It's like Rent-Way gone DUB…they should call it "DubWay," and their slogan could be 'DubWay…ride fresh.'

  11. CptSevere Avatar

    Boy am I weird. I still have the original 15" steel wheels and hubcaps on my '66 F100. What a rebel and a maverick I am, rolling on the same stuff the truck came with from the factory.
    The SUV pictured above makes me want to blow lunch.

  12. Armand4 Avatar

    A few days ago, I was considering softening my anti-SoCal stance.
    Not anymore.
    I'll be keeping that water from the Sacramento River, thanks.

  13. Strip Clubs Rule Avatar

    Howdy everyone, I am just curious if anybody has a suggestion about a decent town for me to get work as a stripper. I recently lost my waitress job and I am willing to basically move anywhere fast money. I worked at a strip club here in Miami for a few months and I have stripped at a bachelor party or two 😉 I am 24 years old and have a great body. Anyone have any suggestions about a town with good strip clubs to get a job at?

  14. myeasypayment Avatar

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