Someone buy this bike…and take it far, far away from me.

The Aprilia SXV was designed expressly for hooligans of the highest order — mega-hoons: young men with lightning-quick reflexes, nerves of steel, too many points on their license and a belief that they can’t die. It’s a street-legal, 13,000-RPM, V-twin dirt bike with way too much braking and fat, nearly slick roadracing tires. The seat is about as wide as Lance Armstrong’s. It’s raison d’être is skyshot wheelies, late braking in turns, feet-up powersliding — none of which I have any intention of ever doing again in my life.

I, on the other hand, am a happily married 47-year-old suburbanite. I’m a balding Baptist deacon. Even as a young man, I opted to be a clerk when I enlisted in the Army, not a Ranger. And at this point in my life, I am clearly aware not only that I can die, I can get hurt. Very badly, painfully hurt. I ride a Suzuki cruiser, fergoshsakes. I use phrases like “fergoshsakes.” I am so NOT the Aprilia SXV.
And yet, I can’t shake this deep, yearning desire to put an SXV in my garage. And now my local Aprilia dealer (Yes, I’m lucky enough/tortured to have one) is offering a new, non-current 2008 SXV 4.5 for $6500. That’s a $2300 discount. Sure, it’s the 450cc version, not the larger 550. But that’s okay, because I’d just ride it like an old man, anyway.
I’d love to see some lucky hoon take advantage of this. Preferably someone in Hawaii or New Brunswick.
Oh, and don’t kill yourself.

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  1. Maymar Avatar

    450cc! Not a squidbike or Pirate Harley! Sort of odd brand! This close to being in my price range (if I drain my part of my wedding savings, effectively rendering said wedding non-existent)!
    Everything about this screams want, even if I'm a total newb who couldn't ride it to half of it's capabilities.

    1. njhoon Avatar

      I have a hunch that if you bought this even without draining the wedding account the wedding might be off anyway. Well, Mrs njhoon would have disowned me. …………Dammit! Why wasn't this around before?

      1. Maymar Avatar

        Lucky me, my fiancee doesn't disapprove of me having toys as long as it doesn't impede on our joint finances – I have a little bit put away that we've agreed it's not completely stupid to spend once I have my co-op for the fall lined up.

        1. engineerd Avatar

          My wife doesn't disapprove of me having toys as long as it doesn't impede on me finishing Project House Hell. Of course, I know that if I were to get a toy it would impede on Project House Hell, so I restrain myself for the time being.

          1. dculberson Avatar

            Engineerd, I feel you pain. And share it. But get this: I finished Project House Hell last week. For sale sign is up, listing is live. I feel like a new man.

          2. Tim Odell Avatar
            Tim Odell

            Living in the ambulance, now?

          3. dculberson Avatar

            We bought a different house a year ago and decided to renovate the old one before putting it on the market. I'm apparently even more of a masochist than I thought. The "new" (built in 1957) house, though, is pretty nice. Smaller house, same size garage (720sf), but with heat and now a/c in the garage. Typical move with too much stuff, though, the garage is kind of clumsy to work in right now. Especially with the Lemons car, two motorcycles, work benches, tools, and a bunch of stuff that needs sorted after the move.
            One of these days I'll tackle it. But for now I'm happy that I still have room for my toys and space to work on one additional car.

          4. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

            I'm preparing to take your spot in Project House Hell, so at least the seat will be kept warm. Ahhh what we will do for a two car garage with a detached workshop.
            Definitely worth it. Probably.

          5. Alff Avatar

            It sounds like many of the Hoons have a Project Hell House. I'm just putting the finishing touches on the last room in our ca 1957 home. I'd love to see some pics of Hoondiwork, perhaps in a Last Call.

        2. njhoon Avatar

          I'm allowed toys, just not the two wheeled kind, luckly I'm not too much into Bikes. The 'This Old Hoonstead' project as Mr Engineerd states below takes top billing now. Literaly. I'll get a new(er) snowmobile when it is all said and done.

  2. muthalovin Avatar

    It would be fun to blow past some kids on ZX-10s in the corners at track days on this.
    "Did you see that old guy spank me in the hair-pin?"
    "Yeah, old people are scary."

    1. engineerd Avatar

      Why do you want to spank kids with hair-pins?

      1. muthalovin Avatar

        Intimidation. They see a paddle and know what to expect. A hair-pin, they have no idea the world of hurt they are in for.

  3. Feds_II Avatar

    Man, another reason to hate you people and your still-reasonably-o.k. purchasing power. $6500 is what I paid for my DRZ400SM, and that was WAY below MSRP.
    Stupid Canadian Peso.

  4. smalleyxb122 Avatar

    As new bikes go, the SXV is one of very few on my want list (second only to the new $20k Norton), but finances won't let me consider even this steal of an Aprilia right now, having been recently unemployed. After reading this post, however, my priorities are going to momentarily shift from LeMons fabrication to tuning my SM610S to get it back on the road. Supermotards, FTW.

  5. huesos350 Avatar

    i want.. need to replace my 10yr old squid.. need something different.. lot of dirt here..

  6. Brett Avatar

    New Brunswick? I'm in New Brunswick! Where do I sign?

  7. dculberson Avatar

    This seems like a wonderful replacement for my KLR. But I'm not in the mood for a road trip to MO, or for the $6500 purchase price. Think they'll trade even steven? Hey, it's a 2007, that's almost like a 2008.

    1. dculberson Avatar

      Tanshanomi, you are the devil. I can't get this bike out of my head now. Grr.

      1. Peter Tanshanomi Avatar
        Peter Tanshanomi

        Then DO NOT watch this video…
        I went by the dealer to sit on the bike again last night. For general street use, you'd really have to do something with the seat.

        1. dculberson Avatar

          Jeez, it just gets better huh? I'm impressed. I've been looking for something smoother and more powerful than the KLR and this thing certainly fits the bill. It's 100lbs lighter but has almost twice the horsepower! YIKES! The v-twin should make it a lot smoother, too. I'd have to check out the seat; I'm a pretty light guy that can put up with a harsh saddle for at least a while. But maybe there's a Corbin out there for it? (doubt it.)

          1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

            Knowing little about motorcycles… I'd say this is a wheelie with a seat.

  8. 35mm Avatar

    My time on here earth would be cut short trying to replicate something like this.
    [youtube U_Xkywi5XGM youtube]