"Seest thou what happens, Laurence, when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks?!"

The tough part about writing a car blog is not including all the other crap we find whilst searching for the prime content you pay so dearly absolutely nothing for. Stretching the inclusion criteria a bit, we can’t help bring you  infamous “You see, Larry…” scene from The Big Lebowski. John Goodman smashing a Vette in misguided anger is funny stuff, but it gets even better when done in the Shakespearean verse

You see, Adam Bertocci’s gone and re-written The Big Lebowski as The Most Excellent Comedie and Tragical Romance of Two Gentlemen of Lebowski. That’s right, the cult-classic revived as a five-act Shakespearean play. Seriously. We follow the misadventures of “The Knave”, and his pals Sir Walter of Poland and Sir Donald of Greece. On to the fateful scene:

Behold thy car, the Corvette, crimson-stain’d,
And see what befalls sinners evermore.
[He raises his sword, and smites the car]
This befalleth when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks, Laurence! Understand’st thou? Dost thou attend me? Seest thou what happens, Laurence? Seest thou what happens, Laurence? Seest thou what happens, Laurence, when thou firk’st a stranger ‘twixt the buttocks?!

We scrolled long and hard to get you that paragraph, half hoping it would contain a reference to “when thou find’st a stranger amongst the alps”.
Seriously, go read it: Two Gentlemen of Lebowski

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  1. LTDScott Avatar

    I went to one of the Lebowski Fests in LA a few years back. One of my favorite costumes was related to this scene. In the TV edit, Walter says "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!"
    <img src="http://k41.pbase.com/g6/12/386012/2/87200236.i12MGLCW.jpg"&gt;

  2. omg grip Avatar
    omg grip

    Youth, Thou art entering a world of pain!

  3. skitter Avatar

    Hark! A challenger appears for our great champion POLAЯ!

  4. Tomsk Avatar

    "…verily, it tied the room together, gather’d its qualities as the sweet lovers’ spring grass doth the morning dew or the rough scythe the first of autumn harvests."
    Genius. Bertocci haz it.