Redneck Fabulous: Wedding Edition

Welcome to Canada. Where fences are optional, but hockey rinks aren't.
Welcome to Canada. Where fences are optional, but hockey rinks aren't.

People not from Canada often typify Canadians as being one big homogenous group. Nothing could be further from the truth. One of the more entertaining things for me, having just moved from British Columbia to Alberta, is seeing the totally different kind of people that reside in this province as opposed to my old homeland. Sure, there are a lot of similarities, but it’s the differences that really stand out.
While reader CaffeineFuelled was on vacation, she somehow stumbled across a wedding that took Redneck Fabulous to a whole new level. Eschewing the traditional limo, the bride and groom chose the wonderful vehicles pictured below. As the story goes, CaffeineFuelled and friend were walking to their car, and were passed by the wedding procession. Complete with, as I understand it, the bride — in full wedding dress — hanging out the window cheering herself on. I imagine her doing so with beer and cigarette in hand. Puttin’ the “ass” in “classy”, right there.
Click to embiggenify, in case you can't quite get all the awesome details. Look! Dual exhaust!
Click to embiggenify, in case you can't quite get all the awesome details. Look! Dual exhaust!

But that’s not the end of it. Oh no. As it all happened too fast for photos to be taken, our intrepid tipster tracked them down and took photos of the bus, finding the bonus golf-cart in the process. Then, knowing I hadn’t had anywhere near enough recent practice of my FacePalm and HeadDesk skills, she texted each photo to me on my cell, with virtually no explanation.
Now that’s friendship, right there.

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56 responses to “Redneck Fabulous: Wedding Edition”

  1. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar

    Yeah we got swimming pools in the yard.

  2. Z71 Avatar

    My head is going to esplode from all the win in these pics- a John Deere lawnmower/Zamboni cleaning a homemade backyard hockey rink- complete with lines, logo, and boards. A lime-green 1970’s Chevy bus wedding limo with a cow-catcher bolted on the front. The only way to top that is to put a 5″ lift on the bus, 4×4 conversion, and also make the bus into a Zamboni- then get married on the bus and have the Stig drive while cleaning a homemade pro-sized rink during an NHL game in your backyard.

    1. Deartháir Avatar

      That’ll happen next hockey season. Baby steps, just a bit of progress at a time, come now.

      1. Z71 Avatar

        I know. I’m usually very patient, just not when it comes to my imagination.

    2. pj134 Avatar

      If only it were full sized… I guess you could just sharpen a plow attachment for the John Deere and just let some water out the back where you need it followed by a squeegee crew.

  3. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar
  4. small_e Avatar

    Note to self: School bus wedding limo has at least 3 emergency exits. Run!
    Though if she agrees to a school bus for the wedding limo, she’s probably a keeper.
    Best wishes to the happy(?) couple.

  5. Bret Avatar

    Wish I could knock down my neighbor’s fence and put in a couple curling sheets… That goes much better with my drinking than does hockey.

    1. Alf Avatar

      It doesn’t matter which, either way I’m going to end up on my ass.

    2. Al Navarro Avatar
      Al Navarro

      I know, the fact that it was multi-lawn effort is impressive. Here in the US, fences make the best neighbors and all that.

  6. Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets Avatar
    Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets

    Wait wait wait… You’re telling me that this is not a typical Canadian wedding?

  7. dwegmull Avatar

    And I thought I was a bit strange for (among other reasons) having a small railroad running around my house…

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar

      oh, no, that’s very cool!

  8. Alf Avatar

    I just wanna say to all the kids out there, this is how it’s done, eh.

    1. joshuman Avatar

      I think that’s the nicest understated suit I have ever seen him wear.

  9. Charles_Barrett Avatar

    Wow! Canada’s got their own Southern trailer park trash inhabitants, except they are cold enough to make hockey rinks feasible. Sounds like a “worst of both worlds” scenario to me…

    1. Maymar Avatar

      I’ve seen more than a few lifted pickups around here proudly displaying the Confederate flag. I doubt we’ve got that many transplants, so I think they’re all missing the point.

  10. FЯeeMan Avatar

    For good neighborly relations, that hockey rink extends across two backyards. And I like the chicken wire catch fence – much cheaper to repair when you stuff the neighbor’s 9-year-old into it a couple times too many.

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar

      gee… was the “You can use these HTML tags link there before I posted that?

      1. Deartháir Avatar

        Looks fine to me. 😉

        1. FЯeeMan Avatar

          You couldn’t have put the missing second quote in the follow up self-abuse post while you were at it?

          1. Deartháir Avatar

            Now you’re just being picky.

  11. pj134 Avatar

    The only way this could be better?
    A mountain…
    And a captain climbing it…

    Click it… it’s mesmerizing… in a terribly terrible way.

    1. FЯeeMan Avatar

      I didn’t even make it a minute into that and it sent chills down my spine. The bad kind of chills.

    2. CptSevere Avatar

      I was gonna say something but I forgot all about that. Now I need to climb a mountain…
      That was bad. Now I’ve got that song in my cerebral cortex. You Suck.

    3. Tomsk Avatar

      I wish to pour gasoline in my ears and light a match. Zank you.

    4. coupeZ600 Avatar

      Absolutely Shack-Tacular! Do they have those hearty-clicky things here? Nice!

    5. SSurfer321 Avatar

      Thanks for the new ringtone!

    6. Jeff Glucker Avatar
      Jeff Glucker

      look at what the #1 related video is for that link…

    7. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      Holy sweet baby Jesus that is possibly the most incredible thing I have seen today.

  12. lilwillie Avatar

    That will be a fun wife. She lets you get away with this crap at the wedding imagine the junk she will allow you to stuff in the garage. Plus, what cars she will let you buy and put in the garage.

    1. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      And that’s why he’s getting married. That’s why I did.

  13. engineerd Avatar

    I see your hockey rink and limo and raise you a hockey limo!

    1. engineerd Avatar

      It’s from the same limo company that has this classy ride…that I tried to get Mrs. engineerd to agree to for our wedding.

    2. iheartstiggie Avatar

      HELL YEAH!!! GO WINGS!!!! Oh sorry, I had a hockey moment.

      1. Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets Avatar
        Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets

        Lets not talk about the Wings right now. K?
        Stupid Phoenix.

        1. superbadd75 haz not mastered teh interwebz. Avatar
          superbadd75 haz not mastered teh interwebz.

          Try living in Dallas and getting excitied by that mess. If you can’t take home at least a division title with Brad Richards, Mike Modano, and Brenden Morrow, something’s wrong. I might be looking at you, Turco.

    3. Dahm Avatar

      Hmm… It occurs to me with this thread that there may be more than a couple Detroit based Hoons here.
      Are Any of you delusional enough to start ups a LeMons team. I understand there will be events in Michigan next year.

      1. Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets Avatar
        Prawo Jazdy and The Velocity Trumpets

        There is one in the works with a confirmed two cheaters professional bribe artists people for the ‘detroit’ race. See facebook:hooniverse for details.

  14. Z71 Avatar

    Hey, this just reminded me of a great song I used to know:
    “Sweet Home Alberta”

  15. iheartstiggie Avatar

    This is awesome. The last wedding I was at in Canada consisted of a 10 minute ceremony in the back yard followed by 20 cases of Labatt Bleu, a tornado and a moose head.

    1. CaffeineFuelled Avatar

      In that order?

    2. JeepyJayhawk Avatar

      Video or police reports to back that up?

  16. Maymar Avatar

    There’s a local brewery that does weddings, and has a party bus, although it’s not quite so… lacking in class.
    My fiancee hasn’t explicitly said no to getting married there, although it’s out of our price range, so she hasn’t had to yet.

  17. dculberson Avatar

    That bus was done by someone with some really good fabrication skills and a decent sense of humor. The brush bar is positively beautiful, and the fake hood scoop (it’s solid on the front!) and side vents are really well made. If it wasn’t neon green, it would fit right in on the Outback.

  18. superbadd75 haz not mastered teh interwebz. Avatar
    superbadd75 haz not mastered teh interwebz.

    Hell, compared to a Mississippi redneck wedding, this thing’s got class. I just can’t find any way to not like this with such a beautiful mini hockey rink. It could only be made better with seamless plexiglass.

  19. Formerlythegreatestdriver Avatar

    Weddings huh?….yeah, weddings…sure.

  20. faster,Tobias! Avatar

    Think I’ll head out to Alberta,
    weather’s good there in the fall.
    I’ve got some friends that I can go
    to working for.

  21. Brian Avatar

    Wait. All Canadians are not the same??? You mean the tops of their heads don’t flop about when they speak???

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