R.A-S.H is staying properly European this week; and the after visiting the French and looking at an off-roader that really, really wasn’t, we’re heading North to look at a car that, well, didn’t really know what it was. And nor, in truth, did Volvo or anybody else.

Volvo had played this game before, as every one of you knows very well, with the P1800 and P1800ES of the ’60s, and by ’86 they had decided that the time had come once more to remind the world there was more to the Swedish firm than boxy station-wagons and slab-like sedans.

Nope; 480 was different.

“The Volvo 480 is unlike any other car today. It combines sporting elan with Volvo safety, reliability and durability. Its roadholding is outstanding, designed to enhance driving pleasure. It has personality and refinement, embracing advanced technology. It’s the new Volvo. For people who demand the best in life.”

“Best in life“. Another of those meaningless, throwaway phrases that goes totally unqualified, like saying “hope you have a nice time”.  The 480 was new ground for Volvo, and, well, everybody else too. What we had here was a three-door hatchback-cum-coupe-cum-station-wagon arrangement. It had pop-up headlamps, which usually suggests sports-car, but front-wheel-drive, which doesn’t. The only car which shared these details was the Honda Aerodeck, and that car wasn’t especially easy to categorise, either.

“It is still reassuringly orthodox in its embodiment of the traditional Volvo virtues. “

Well, that doesn’t make things any simpler, either. So, I suppose the 480 would be best described as “What Volvo would build if they didn’t want to build a Volvo”.

“Volvo believes that a relaxed driver is unquestionably a better one”

I happen to agree on this, unfortunately Volvos in the past could have been accused of tending slightly too far towards the sleep-inducing. Anybody reading this brochure in 1986 who saw the pop-up headlamps and hoped for a sports-car, would feel their disappointment building. It all seemed rather inevitable.

“The difference between enjoyable and exciting driving is the drama. Volvos are built to work with the driver as a team, responding predictably to the drivers commands in every situation. Even unexpected ones. We believe that driving should be enjoyable. Never dramatic”.

There goes the final nail in the excitement coffin; but it does at least serve to define the 480 a little. Here, then, was a car designed for the driver, but in a dependable, reliable, trustworthy way. You could have fun, good, clean, responsible fun… but not too much in case it sends you giddy.

The 480ES wasn’t actually Swedish, of course. It was built in the same factory as the 300 series in Holland. In fact the platform was later used by the 300’s replacement, the 400, a car which wore its sobriety on its sleeve.

First launched with a normally-aspirated 1.7 litre Renault engine whose 109hp provided further evidence towards un-sportiness. In later years there was an attempts to throw a bit more coal on the fire when a turbocharged version with ten extra horsepower appeared. This was later replaced, though, by a two litre engine that dropped things back to 110hp. It’s a shame that the 480 had disappeared by the time Volvo went properly turbocharger crazy; a 480 T4-R would have been a hell of a car.

Even though it was never going to win any gold cups for adrenaline-on-demand, Journalists of the day quite liked the 480. Autocar told us; “grip is strong, turn-in eager and body-roll well controlled.” I guess they liked the fact that it existed, more than anything else. That Volvo still had some imagination.

“When it comes to cars- especially when it comes to cars, you generally get what you pay for. From Volvo, you are buying the highest quality- in the form of safety, reliability and durability. You get a car that is built to last”

Today, Volvo have the C30 and, well, that isn’t a sports car either. However, both that car and its S40 relations both seem treat the driver in the same way as the 480 used to. The C30 charms the driver, treats him well, makes him feel good about himself rather than goading him towards silliness like the BMW 1 series and Audi A3 do. That’s fine; let the Germans do their aggressive best while the Scandinavians sit things out and get the sauna and birch twigs ready.

The C30 can be had with far more power than the 480 ever could, but the Ford Focus platform beneath it; though very capable, was never designed for out-and-out fun and games. So far, there’s no real evidence that Volvo will ever bring us a genuine sports car, but one gets the feeling that they could if they wanted to. I suspect that, should that ever happen, it’ll be well worth celebrating.

In the meantime; go out there and get a surviving 480 while the values are still on the floor. Nobody seems to remember them or hold them in any particular esteem, which is more than a slight pity. Especially with those pop-up headlamps.

(Disclaimer: All images are of original manufacturers publicity material, photographed by myself in my second bedroom- part renovated. All copyright remains property of the original owner)