Aren’t you glad that the days of Cadillac only producing absolute malaise for the people that bought a Sedan DeVille back in 1972 and then just replaced it for its equivalent every four years or so? Today’s Cadillac is producing brilliant designs that are very striking to look at and, crucially, compare favorably with the German competition. Sadly, to do that, they’ve gone down the BMW path instead of doing things their way. So what do you buy these days if you want an Old-style Cadillac?

I can’t argue with the results, Cadillac is once again on the public consciouness for something  other than “You know, my grandma got one of those” or “Why didn’t you pick the Range?”. But some people that still want a traditional front-engine, rear drive sedan with a lazy V8 providing propulsion. Well, if you’re not too strict on the ‘Sedan’ bit, you can always remain in the comforting arms of Zombie Henry Leland and buy a Cadillac Escalade. It’s roughly the same size as the landyachts of yore and thanks to the coolest door handles in the world and the giant taillights nobody is going to confuse this for any of its more plebian siblings.

Other options if you don’t want a sedan is the full-size pickup truck. Ford recently announced their new F-150 Limited. A pickup truck that will supposedly start north of sixty grand. They haven’t released exactly what exactly is it limited by however. How many Texas oil barons will buy them? Heck, throw in a hard tonneau cover and it makes a very good impression of a super-sized Lincoln Town Car.

But sticking with sedans we run into a couple of problems. Up until a couple of years ago there was also the Lexus LS. But I fear that went out of the window the second they fitted it with an SUV front end that is making sporty promises that a gigantic luxury car shouldn’t. Then there’s the Infiniti Q45 that…wait what? They stopped building it ten years ago? Well, what does Infiniti do these days for large car? A China-market stretched M56…alright then.

Of course, there’s the Chrysler 300. I love the 300 because it’s the traditional American car. It doesn’t get more melting pot than an American branded car based on a German platform and that’s built in Canada and has been known to be moonlighting in Europe as a Lancia. But the Chrysler is a peg down in size (and MSRP). But it’s blown away when it comes to Cadillac-ness by the Hyundai Equus.

Do not be fooled by the promises that this is a Performance sedan. Yes, it has a 429 Horsepower 5.0-liter engine that will hurl your $60k limousine to 60 in five and a half seconds and onwards to 157 miles an hour. But there’s no performance option or optional sport pack. The 8-speed has manual control, but shift paddles aren’t even an option. In fact I think that the only reason it has a sport button is that it’s now mandatory to have one of those so that the salesman can have something to talk about to anyone under the age of 55.

Taking another look at the inside, BUTTONS AND KNOBS! Remember those? And they are big and clearly labeled so you can jab at them without having to take your eyes off the road and actually get what you want instead of fiddling around with the command center or trying to hit a touchscreen in exactly the right place. I think some more of my colors are showing on this article. I’d love to have a CTS-V, it’s an amazing car and every time I read anything about it I just drool and feel happy that things like this still exist despite regulations doing their damndest to make them go away.

But after the no-doubt extremely hard day of business that allows you to have one of these. Wouldn’t you like to just climb into something that welcomes you fondly and comforts you as you drive home in absolute comfort, with the A/C set to just so, the music of your choice telling you everything is alright. You can have the extremely unreliable but very fun Turbo Miata for a track day blast at the weekends anyway. So there’s that. To answer my own question yes, I think the Equus is the most Cadillac Vehicle that you can buy today. It’s also definitely one of the best luxury cars around.

The Kia K900 can make a good argument for being the best Lincoln though.