Last Call: What happens when you straight pipe your car

Colby Buchanan

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We’ve all seen (and heard) the straight piped Civic blasting through your neighborhood at 2 a.m. Normally it’s followed with dirty looks and the occasional one-finger wave. In this case, however, they decided to leave this guy a muffler. I honestly doubt this is real because people tend to hate car people with loud cars and would never fathom doing anything nice for them let alone spend money on them. Usually, it’s a phone call to the cops begging them to set up a cruiser somewhere. Either way, it is still kind of funny and I did get a kick out of it so hopefully, you do too.

Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day. It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.

About

Colby Buchanan

Colby Buchanan

My name is Colby Buchanan and I love all things car-related all the way from rusted 240sx’s to McLaren Senna’s and of course I have a soft spot for American Muscle. You can spot me in my bone stock ’06 350z named MackenZ.

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17 responses to “Last Call: What happens when you straight pipe your car”

  1. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    Old timers tricks still work

    Reply
  2. Batshitbox Avatar
    Batshitbox

    Just put a banana in the tailpipe.

    Reply
    1. 0A5599 Avatar
      0A5599

      https://i.imgflip.com/yfpeo.jpg

      Reply
    2. Zentropy Avatar
      Zentropy

      We always used potatoes.

      Reply
  3. Sjalabais Avatar
    Sjalabais

    We’re still doing the Little Tour, in between occasional stints at home with people coming to us. Yesterday, the unspeakable happened. A bolt extending just a few centimeters off the most ordinary guard rail did this:
    https://i.ibb.co/JzMqNTM/collage-Ripe-Centennial2.jpg
    I’m an idiot and now it shows, sigh. So all photos from now on will have a different angle.
    https://i.ibb.co/GMBwHc9/IMG-20200722-091756.jpg

    Reply
    1. Batshitbox Avatar
      Batshitbox

      Will that buff out?

      Reply
      1. Sjalabais Avatar
        Sjalabais

        I think so. We were lucky, in a sense, to barely strike the thing. Lost some paint, but there was no noticeable damage to the metal.

        Reply
        1. Lokki Avatar
          Lokki

          We know you and your driving skills well enough by this point to recognize that this was NOT YOUR FAULT.

          There can be no doubt that someone moved that guard rail since the last time you drove past it.

          Tell your wife that it has happened to the best of them:

          https://www.essentiallysports.com/greatest-f1-story-when-ayrton-senna-crashed-because-the-wall-moved/

          Reply
          1. Sjalabais Avatar
            Sjalabais

            Haha, brilliant, I really needed that one. Still my fault, but thanks!

    2. Fuhrman16 Avatar
      Fuhrman16

      Oof, that sucks dude.

      Reply
  4. crank_case Avatar
    crank_case

    Not condoning being an ass and running round with straight pipes, but it’s funny how people lose it over loud exhausts, but see no problem letting their kids run around unsupervised screaming on the street for hours like they’ve just consumed a kilo of suger laced with cocaine, take their recycling out at midnight and let their diesel van/taxi idling at stupid o’clock, clattering around like someone shaking a spoon is a cooking pot for way longer than neccesary (plus y’know spewing NOx into the neighborhood). Almost makes me sympathetic to the idiot bikers that tear up the motorway at 3AM and eleventy squillion RPM and definitely not a stock exhaust – at least it’s brief.

    People are weird.

    Reply
    1. Batshitbox Avatar
      Batshitbox

      Maybe there’s some lizard brain psychology behind it (isn’t there always?) The loud exhaust systems are perceived as more of a threat because they’re on a moving vehicle, which can represent a threat; the other noises are stationary and made by nearby, familiar humans.

      Like a dog that barks at moving bicycles and skateboards, but not stationary ones; one is more of a threat.

      Reply
    2. Maymar Avatar
      Maymar

      Yeah, I overlook a townhouse complex with a shared courtyard via the back patios, and despite living in an area with fairly high COVID cases, they’ve been having large communal gatherings for months, sometimes late into the evening. Makes me want something loud and obnoxious to go blatting around them.

      Reply
      1. crank_case Avatar
        crank_case

        Round here they’ve ruined every public holiday with “street bingo”, complete with obnoxious PA.

        Reply
    3. Batshitbox Avatar
      Batshitbox

      Maybe there’s some lizard brain psychology behind it (isn’t there always?) The loud exhaust systems are perceived as more of a threat because they’re on a moving vehicle, which can represent a threat; the other noises are stationary and made by nearby, familiar humans.

      Like a dog that barks at moving bicycles and skateboards, but not stationary ones; one is more of a threat.

      (EDIT) Upon a second cup of coffee I realized that the loud exhaust system is itself an effort to take control of one’s surroundings, to appear as a threat to challengers or to exhibit one’s colorful plumage to a potential mate. Or maybe it’s for more horsepower.

      Reply
    4. Sjalabais Avatar
      Sjalabais

      I need to admit that we do have a selection of those noisy kids as our own. They are told to be silent inside the house, and need to have an unrestricted outlet when outside. There is some genuine regret for the serenity of our neighbourhood, but…kids need to just be kids sometimes. Also, we do run out of cocaine cookies quite often.

      Reply
      1. crank_case Avatar
        crank_case

        Of course, the key word is unsupervised.. for long periods of time. You get a big bunch of small kids and don’t watch em and one of them is gonna wind the others up. Cue literal screaming.

        Reply