Last Call- That's How My Mom Rolls Edition

Mom Rolls

Cruisin’ down the diamond in my twenty-oh-four, jockin’ the bitches, slappin’ the hoes. . . 

Image: ©2013 Robert Emslie, All Rights Reserved

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32 responses to “Last Call- That's How My Mom Rolls Edition”

  1. Alff Avatar

    If you must have a family truckster, this isn't bad. Like the fender treatment. Now, get thee to the painter and have him shoot that door handle.

    1. vwminispeedster Avatar

      And the door pillar

    2. lost_and_found Avatar

      Now get thee to the painter and have a mural of dragons and buxom wenches airbrushed on the side.

      1. vroomsocko Avatar

        Now that's vannin' like a boss.

      2. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
        Scandinavian Flick

        <img src=""&gt;

  2. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick

    I have been seeing an increasingly large number of slammed/modified minivans recently. Especially Odysseys. I suspect that it is due to the more recent population of tuning enthusiasts producing offspring as they grow older.
    I can't bring myself to hate them…

    1. Kogashiwa Avatar

      It's been a thing in Japan for years, and just recently making its way across the water. Odysseys are the most popular there too. But their Odyssey is a much different and much sleeker thing than what's sold here.

      1. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
        Scandinavian Flick

        Ahh, so it's just our ~5 year delay on everything JDM. That makes sense too.

        1. Tiller188 Avatar

          So does that mean in another couple years we'll go full circle and start getting into the Dajiban craze?

          1. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
            Scandinavian Flick

            One can hope.

          2. pj134 Avatar

            I have a forum post up that references my search for a drunk wagon…Dajiban might be the answer.

          3. njhoon Avatar

            Why wait? I love that craze

          4. Vairship Avatar

            <img src="; width="600">

      2. Tomsk Avatar

        Yeah, the JDM Odyssey is pretty sweet. I kinda wish Honda would bring it here as an Acura to do battle with the MKT and 5 Series GT (Smokin' hot segment of the market, I know…).
        <img src="; width="500" />

        1. mr. mzs zsm msz esq Avatar
          mr. mzs zsm msz esq

          <img src=""&gt; The one I saw three years ago was not that great really, sort of cheap seeming inside and the rearmost seats did not fold into the floor. Now the Toyota Mark X wagon, that was a sweet wagon! Probably smaller than CTS wagon yet seats seven, awd too. Also I'm in the Honda Odyssey modifying camp now, so it's not cool anymore.

        2. salguod Avatar

          The JDM Odyssey is essentially the same as the gen 1 odyssey ('96-'98 I believe) was here. A bit like the Mazda5 in size and configuration.
          Back when I had my '99 (the one posted is a '99-'01) they sold the US market Odyssey in Japan as the Lagreat. Not sure if thesy still do, I haven't hung around the Odyssey forum for years.
          Wald (I think) made a body kit for that gen 2 Ody. There were several folks at who had custom wheels like above and a couple with the Wald kit. One guy even had nitrous in his and ran it at the drag strip once or twice.

    2. smokyburnout Avatar

      When I was still in high school (let's say mid-00s) there was a Honda Odyssey that would be parked at the gas station down on the corner every day, scissor doors up. Had a bodykit and rimz too.

    3. Alcology Avatar

      I want to see one chopped. And flared. Is that so wrong?

  3. mike Avatar


  4. Savant_Idiot Avatar

    That looks like a third of the minivans here in the San Fernando Valley. Matter of fact, that picture could have been taken here in the foothills North of downtown L.A.
    All the baby mamas be bumpin' in they rides…
    Please forgive the Ebonics/slang/vernacular.

  5. Preludacris Avatar

    To add to the comments above, this popped up on The Chronicles (arbiter of cool in Honda-land) yesterday.
    <img src="; width="600">
    "Meanwhile, in Japan…." <a href="” target=”_blank”>

  6. stigshift Avatar

    I read a great line here today from a CL listing. "Rides like shit. Imagine a forklift". I'm sure that done with a proper suspension, one of these would be both pleasant to look at AND drive.

    1. Scandinavian Flick Avatar
      Scandinavian Flick

      They're remarkably quick now too, with the V6 pushing ~250hp…

      1. I Think Not Avatar
        I Think Not

        Yup. Especially once nicely broken in.
        I win the on-ramp merging derby all the time via manual shifting (yeah, I'm that guy) and good timing. Just Monday, I surprised an NA miata driver who didn't downshift quickly enough to beat me to the yield. Even after he woke up (I could hear his fart can exhaust screaming), the Ody continued to pull away. I suspect the Miata's lightness wasn't enough to overcome his power deficit.
        The Ody will pull hard to the top of third (~93), but then acceleration tapers off in 4th and 5th. The disadvantage of such a large frontal area, right?
        I have bumped the speed limiter at 120 once on an abandoned stretch of rural GA interstate. Apart from the wind noise, there was very little indication that the van was working very hard to cruise at that speed.

  7. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    2013; A Stanced Odyssey.
    Like the original it's interesting to look at but difficult to really understand.

  8. POLAЯ Avatar

    That's not how my mom rolls…
    <img src=""&gt;
    It's because of my mom's rolls

  9. PotbellyJoe Avatar

    I sold a number of Siennas when I was in sales. They were easy to sell and I could convert a lot of Highlander buyers to them. Anyway.
    We had a few customers in NY/NJ that would buy the XLE Limited Sienna and put rims on them along with other modifications.
    I liked them more than the run-of-the-mill Mommy-mobile and quite frankly they were a better all around vehicle than a 4Runner or Sequoia when it came to daily driving. Save the trucks for people who need to tow, or go over things.
    <img src="; width=500>

  10. I Think Not Avatar
    I Think Not

    Since I still need my minivan as a carrier of people and things, I would likely not lower it (given the budget and the missus' permission), but some 19" BBS CF wheels look pretty great, and I'd put some heavier duty struts and (if available) sways to sharpen the ride up a bit.
    Something about BBS… do they make a bad looking wheel?
    <img src="; width="75% height=" 75%'="">

    1. $EX¥ HAMMER Avatar
      $EX¥ HAMMER

      needs more wheel, less tire. and i don't ever recommend that. i think you've found the one application that would cause me to violate my principles!
      bbs makes great wheels, some of their designs are better than others depending on the application. in my humble opinion, you would be better off with a more traditional bippu style wheel than the ones pictured above. you should also ditch the mudflaps and roofrack. you can get sideskirts and maybe a front lip, but i'm not sure about the latter as they will probably me made to fit the jdm bumper and not yours.
      lower could be more functional if you manage to do it right. consider ease of cargo loading if the height of the rear deck was a couple inches close to the ground. ingress/egress would be easier for small children and aging dogs. aerodynamics would benefit slightly increasing economy and reducing fuel consumption… feel free to use that when making your case with the missus.

      1. I Think Not Avatar
        I Think Not

        Pretty in-depth analysis there, chief.
        But I've never gone for the JDM style wheels, and Kansas roads are nasty, so I really would want some sidewall on the tires.
        As far as lowering goes — the Ody is not a 4×4 as it is. I scrape the front and rear overhangs all the time.
        And I like my mudflaps and roof rack! A van can have nice wheels and upgraded suspension without going full retard.

  11. $EX¥ HAMMER Avatar

    full retard? what makes you say that? the white JDM van pictured above is 100% and the original picture of the blue/silver one is about 75% there. so full-retard and 3/4 retard by your terminology.
    i think you could probably take it to semi-retard without too much drama. regional roads being objectively better/worse is a common cop-out. my cressida isn't slammed but it's about as low as it can functionally be. 90% of the time that's fine due to what you'd probably call "good roads," but there's always an exception that voids the rule and makes the whole "good roads" vs. "bad roads" a moot point. even if it's man-made i.e. steep driveway or speed bump. or miles of construction with crudely-poured asphalt detours and uneven lanes.
    if kansas roads are that bad, i've seen some badass lifted minivans on mudtires with a much more functional roof rack. not Odysseys, more like Toyota vans from the 80's that came with 4wd. consider trading up to one of those? 😀

  12. stephen hood Avatar
    stephen hood

    When Indycar came to Barber Motorsports Park last year, VIPs and others were being shuttled around in tricked out Odysseys. I don't have pictures but they were good looking vans. My wife drives the latest generation Sienna, and I'm pleased with its looks. The proportions seem better balanced than previous generations and it has a more aggressive stance. Its still pretty boring although it does a masterful job of doing what we bought it to do.