Last Call: Eye Bleach Edition

Rolls SSR
So, what if you took the best aspect of the Chevy SSR—it’s retrograde nose—and replaced it with the front clip off a Rolls Royce Silver Spirit, what would that look like?
Last Call indicates the end of Hooniverse’s broadcast day.  It’s meant to be an open forum for anyone and anything. Thread jacking is not only accepted, it’s encouraged.
Image: Reddit

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  1. I_Borgward Avatar

    On an impulse, I’ve just looked at an ’82 Volvo 240 wagon.
    Much like my green 240, but offering something mine lacks:
    The classic 80’s yuppie hot rod, in gloss black.
    (Needs much work. Oh, yes.)
    Nice leather seats. No dents. Fired right up.
    that I happen to have a basement full of parts for
    (just what I need, another project)
    eeeevil glossy black turrrrrrrrrbo waaaaagon…
    (damn it damn it damn it damn it DAMN IT)

  2. CraigSu Avatar

    From my perspective it’s an improvement.

  3. #JailTruck Avatar

    How dare they ruin an SSR like that!

  4. RHParish Avatar

    Um, Ferrari logo!?

    1. jeepjeff Avatar

      Of course. It adds class. Clearly this car has a lot of class. It has all of the best things. It’s great. The greatest.

      1. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

        The best of the best of the best. With honours.

      2. Batshitbox Avatar

        Many people are saying that this car is not the classiest, but you know what? I can tell you: They’re wrong. Sad!

  5. smalleyxb122 Avatar

    The best thing about the SSR was not the nose. It’s what was under that nose. The best thing about the SSR was the LS2 and available 6-speed.

  6. 0A5599 Avatar

    Don’t laugh. It gets to use the hybrid lane.
    So if Jeep + Ferrari = Jerrari, then this is a SSRR.

    1. dead_elvis, inc. Avatar
      dead_elvis, inc.

      Makes me reach for the SSRI rX.
      (This, not that.)

  7. ptschett Avatar

    There are aspects of 2016 that are more wrong, but not many.
    Tangentially-related: I got to witness something that should have been a crash today, involving the SSR’s platform-mate TrailBlazer. I was in a slow moving line of traffic in the rightmost of 3 lanes as a stoplight was changing, and I decided to stop (it was a 50/50 choice & I’d rather be 1st in a line than last); the TrailBlazer driver coming from behind me in the empty middle lane ran an extremely-red light a few seconds later. The TrailBlazer driver ended up having to brake hard and turn hard right, narrowly avoiding contact between their left-rear fender and the right-front fender of the Ram pickup driver who’d legally entered the intersection to turn left before the light had changed and was legally proceeding after it changed. I’ve been thinking about getting back on a motorcycle, but not around this kind of idiot…

    1. nanoop Avatar

      I call the larger commercial vehicles (that’s what pickup trucks here are) that are eager to shove other cars into intersections and are determined to compress queues war elephants. Splitting the fields of foot soldiers by their sheer momentum and presence.

    2. Rover 1 Avatar
      Rover 1

      I’ve reached the age where the arrant stupidity of other drivers no longer surprises me.
      Expect the worst and you won’t be disappointed.

    3. neight428 Avatar

      Re: motorcycles and idiocy, I sympathize. The upside of riding is miniscule in a city/suburban setting these days. Lane splitting might mitigate that a bit, were it legal outside of California, but that’s almost like doubling down with the amount of attention paid by other drivers. I rode a bit in my college days, but I doubt I’ll pick it back up unless and/or until I move further from a megalopolis and/or somehow talk myself into a track only setup.

    4. dukeisduke Avatar

      I was taught in driver’s ed that you shouldn’t pull out into an intersection and wait for the light to turn red to make a left turn. Those people burn my a$$, especially when they hold up drivers when the other street’s green arrows come on. Just my $.02.

  8. neight428 Avatar

    We need a high res .gif of it doing a burnout.

  9. Alff Avatar

    …and yet, this is the better looking of the two cars the marriage produced.

  10. Lokki Avatar

    Hmmm. I wonder if the modification increases or decreases the value of that SSR. I had supposed that they were fairly rare but Wiki says, “Analysts estimate that 24,150 SSRs were produced in total. Of the total production, 24,112 were available for sale to the public.” That’s a lot more than I thought. It’s a small number by GM standards but a pretty large number by collector car standards.
    With 24,000 of them cruising the streets, will oddity outperform abundance? Sure, it’s weird, but we know that appealed to one guy with money. Where there’s one, isn’t it possible there will be two?
    “No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public”
    H.K. Mencken

    1. dukeisduke Avatar

      There was a red one for sale as the Hemmings Find Of The Day on Monday, with a dealer-installed Joe Gibbs supercharger package, and just 8,641 miles, for $27k.

  11. dukeisduke Avatar

    It actually grafted on pretty nicely.

  12. Van_Sarockin Avatar

    I’m cool with that. Decently done. I really hope it’s a fiberglass kit, and the parts cost less than a grand. Folks used to do stuff like that all the time to VW Beetles – though the simple, giant wind up key suction cupped to the rear hood was the best.