Last Call- Canadian Car Wash Edition


Salting the roads may wreak havoc on a car’s structure, turning ferrous metal into swiss cheese, but it does also turn highway travelers into impromptu salt licks for appreciative megafauna. By the way, do you think that moose has but one ear?

Image source: Imgur

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35 responses to “Last Call- Canadian Car Wash Edition”

  1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
    Dean Bigglesworth

    I'd much rather have them wash my car than slam into my windshield at 120kph.

    1. dead_elvis Avatar

      Yes indeed. My folks killed a mooseling with a Volvo 940 sedan on Interstate 91 in Vermont some years back. It landed on the front of the roof, bounced onto the trunk, and then to the asphalt. No real damage to my parents beyond some seatbelt bruising, but that was the end of 940.
      They've continued to drive moose-proof Swedish cars. I was disappointed they didn't think to have the meat salvaged, as you can do that in VT; I suppose they had other immediate concerns. Moose can be some good eatin'.

      1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
        Dean Bigglesworth

        Used to see crashed cars at work, hitting a moose is not pretty.. Though proably the worst was a car hitting a stationary van at 120kph+ on the motorway because the van broke down and the idiot parked it partly in the left lane, and the car driver hit it when changing lanes from behind another car. But yeah, moose does make for some tasty eatin'.

      2. Sjalabais Avatar

        They were lucky. Not many cars to choose from at that time that would have managed to protect its people upon hitting a moose.
        And I think it tastes like cow, but, hey, free meat! That's a nice policy.

    2. Alcology Avatar

      I had a teacher in high school that told a story of hitting a moose in a sedan. It was just high enough to break the moose's legs and have the body of the moose slam directly into the windshield. At this point the jagged pieces of windshield sliced open the gut of the moose spilling all the guts, undigested moose stuff and digested moose stuff, into the whole compartment of the car. Above the level of the seats. I always look for moose.

      1. dead_elvis Avatar

        I think that scenario – clipping the legs, & the torso of the moose coming right through the windshield – is exactly why a moose strike is so often fatal for the car occupants. Basic moose-car interaction geometry. Given that auto glass generally crumbles though, I'm calling MS (moose shit, obv) on your teacher's additional detail about evisceration by windshield. But points for the gross-out factor.
        There was a fair amount of moose fur(?) inside my folks' car, post-accident. Scraped off by the front of the roof, maybe.

        1. Alcology Avatar

          It's amazing that moose didn't kill all of them. Could've been the roof that did it. Either that or the massive amount of Mickey D's.

        2. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
          Dean Bigglesworth

          BS might be appropriate too if it was a male mööse. A calf might be small enough to hit the front of the car hard enough to split it open, though.

    3. P161911 Avatar

      First time this Georgia boy saw one of these in New Hampshire, I thought it was one of the funniest things I have seen.
      <img src=""width=500&gt;
      Hitting a whitetail down here usually results in a busted grill, broken headlight, and maybe a crumpled fender and cracked windshield.

  2. $kaycog Avatar

    The moose in this picture has both ears, but I think he's blind. I believe this is called statutory rape.
    <img src=""width="500"/&gt;

    1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
      Dean Bigglesworth

      That will get him incarcerated. *picture of dead moose inside car*
      Thought about posting an actual picture of a dead and bloody moose that has entered a car thru the windshield at high speed but I best not. It's not funny.

      1. wisc47 Avatar

        Thank you for taking the high road.
        <img src=""&gt;

    2. Tomsk Avatar

      Awww, he's trying to make a buffoose…or a mooffalo…

    3. Alcology Avatar

      Some peoples/mooses desires are concrete and they ain't changing for nobody.

    4. P161911 Avatar

      I believe you meant statuary not statutory.

    5. Alff Avatar

      Hahahaha! I hope you wake up at 3 am laughing at your funny. There's an excellent chance that I will. Well done.

    6. Vavon Avatar

      I burst out in laughter and now all my French collegues are looking at me!
      And worst of all, it's impossible to translate this joke in to French…

  3. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

    This rolling salt lick is a moose's version of a food truck.

  4. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
    Scandinavian Flick ★

    Off topic, because this is exciting to me. Actually, it's kinda relevant, because moose…
    This last weekend, we got The Brick not just running, but drivable…ish…!! It actually backed up almost an entire car length under its own power! The "ish" portion refers to the fact that it is running on only 3 cylinders for some reason… Haven't figured that one out yet. It's likely an issue with the wiring, one of the countless relays, or that particular junkyard-sourced injector… But this is a huge step, and the most I have seen of the front of this car in years!
    <img src="; width="550">

    1. BЯдΖǐL-ЯЄРΘЯΤЄЯ Avatar

      In other times I could help you out with some spare engines I had lying in my barn.
      <img src="; width="600">

      1. FuzzyPlushroom Avatar

        I'd offer a '93 B230F (probably squirters!) if I'd bought mine back…

        1. Dean Bigglesworth Avatar
          Dean Bigglesworth

          Why a '93? My currently not running -89 740 has a B230F. LH-jetronic 2.4. do you mean oil squirters? I thought only turbos had those.

          1. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
            Scandinavian Flick ★

            Mine is a true bastard creation…
            The car originally had a B23F running LH2.0 with an AW71.
            It is now "running" with a B21FT with a T3 Garret and intercooler, that was originally running on K-Jet, now on LH2.2 connected to a spliced LH2.0 harness, all bolted to an M46.
            It has been a long, arduous journey, and only possible as a labor of love …

      2. Scandinavian Flick ★ Avatar
        Scandinavian Flick ★

        Mmm, 142… Nice collection there! Definitely looks like a true garage of a Volvo owner.
        Either a 142 or 145 (depends on which I find first in decent condition when I'm seriously looking) is on the short list of future projects for me.

  5. Batshitbox Avatar

    Hokay! Now ve drive around nut packing plant, park car and catch pesky squirrel, too!
    <img src=""&gt;

  6. Devin Avatar

    Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti…

    1. frankthecat Avatar

      Mi sister ws onc bitten by a møøse…

      1. tiberiusẅisë Avatar

        We apologize for the fault in the comments. Those responsible have been sacked.

  7. Alcology Avatar

    Moosemoose is sad for she has but one ear with which to hear you make fun of her.

  8. frankthecat Avatar

    I spent two hours pressure washing all of the road salt off of my van today after the local municipalities thought it'd be hilarious to put down, I believe the scientific term is 'a metric arse-load of,' road salt when the only snow we got was a light dusting that disappeared with the morning sun.
    And then I got caught in a light rain on my way home.

  9. tiberiusẅisë Avatar

    One ear? I'd like to think its hearing is all right but it looks like that is the missing ear.

  10. Rust-MyEnemy Avatar

    A clear message to all those who think American cars can't be licked.

  11. faberferrum Avatar

    I'm pretty sure this happened to my car just a couple days ago, one whole side appears to be covered in tongue marks, the dust on the other side is undisturbed. It would have been a white-tail deer though, we have a hundred of them living in town with us this winter.