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By Robert Emslie
Feb 21, 2013
Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm. – Emily Dickinson
Image: Imgur
Jeff Glucker
A bird in the hand will crap on your wrist.
I Audi wipe this nesty mess off the window, but if I did I might accidentally flip you the bird
It's a performance modification; She's there for added Thrusht.
We now have a great egg sample of a car that will help you pick up chicks.
I'm trying to find one for cheep.
I didn't know Audi made a hatchback.
That would piss me off to no end. Because I would probably have to drive another car for awhile. And yes, I eat eggs and tasty meat every day. It's just so damned Bambi-esque.
I'd probably just drive away but I'd be sure to feather the throttle.
While the above is beautiful, and likely tragic, I need to be off topic and a little anti-social:
Here, more of us than usual can relate to what I call basic traffic manners: Use your signals, stay right except to pass, I add even more than that: complete passes before onramps or make room, speed up to complete passes quickly instead of hovering like a gnat, speed up and yield as quickly as practical to faster traffic. And while on the whole I've mellowed without slowing, I feel more focused frustration when I step aside and the shadow creeps past and squeezes me out when we come to a slower car.
In younger, stupid days I've self-righteously done the same to other drivers. I'm not sure when I grew out of it, so maybe I'm still living it down. Though I still believe in limited time offers. If you want it, take it. Now. Don't make me regret it as I kill my momentum with you to my left. I pass decisively because I am committed to maintaining speed uphill, downhill, and whether or not I am passing or being passed. Even if you're moving as quickly at times, if I don't believe in your commitment, attention, or ability, I want past, and I'll make it stick.
When suddenly after I pass you want to go fast too, I'll go even faster to put space between us. You can't play with me, because you don't know how.
Take your problems to The Godpigeon!
<img src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-k42egLav1EI/T0wdrV-lYTI/AAAAAAAAB68/OeWmO2SqAM8/s500/poopoobomb.JPG">
You use a phrase that I've always used, one that's central to my driving style: pass decisively. Few things on earth make me so instantly and irrationally angry as the whole of what you wrote there. People who pass on cruise control @ .3mph overtaking speed deserve a special place in rush-hour Los Angeles.
Has this been re-tweeted?
"I'm sorry sir, that bird has voided your powertrain warranty. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do."
That Audi wagon's a nice car, but it's no AMC Eagle.
I had a bird make a nest on the front upper control arm of my chevy van (it would sit parked a lot until I needed to use it)
the eggs eventually hatched, and there were baby chicks residing in the nest on my control arm.
well I did end up needing to use the van.
regrettably, at the time, I thought it would be a better idea to not try to move the nest. something something, mama bird would disown the chicks because i tampered with the nest, something something, mama bird would attack me, etc….. there wasnt anywhere I could even put it except in the grass next to the parking space, which, I dont know, wouldnt that be all too easy for a predator to come along and just eat them??? as expected…it blew away somewhere while I was driving. That mama bird was hopping around my van for days looking for the nest.
I am a terrible person.