By Alan
Yearning for that incredible classic car barn find is a time-honored tradition. Car enthusiasts frequently dream of meeting heirs of the little old lady from Pasadena, who wouldn’t know a Super Stock Dodge from a rental-grade Plymouth Satellite. This would give you the advantage when trying to buy the car, which has been gathering dust for decades inside their barn, at a below-market price.
But the realities are, especially today, that:
- Barns (and family farms) are increasingly uncommon, meaning these finds are much harder to come by in the first place.
- It’s 2020. You’re more likely to find a Chrysler Sebring than you would any classic muscle car.
In most states, you’re eligible for classic car plates when a vehicle is 25 years old. So this year, with these things in mind, I’ll be exploring some of the most boring, underwhelming, or just terrible vehicles available for purchase in the U.S. in 1995. Something your grandmother may or may not have been driving if she’d passed around that time.
I have a list of cars ready, but before I jump in, I want your suggestions. Tell me: What’s the lamest car or truck you can think of that recently reached classic car status in the eyes of the law?
It already hit the 25-year mark last year, but the Ford Aspire was the first name that came to my mind.
http://consumerguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/94113341991401.jpg
It already hit the 25-year mark last year, but the Ford Aspire was the first name that came to my mind.
http://consumerguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/94113341991401.jpg
I’ll drive that pink Aspire all day long before a teal Cavalier sedan
http://images.gtcarlot.com/pictures/23880621.jpg
Definitely on my list. The Cavalier was such a heap of garbage.
Don’t forget Jack Baruth’s tale of the pink Aspire https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2010/07/capsule-review-1995-ford-aspire/
I like Baruth, a lot in fact. But his writings since a certain event in 2016 on his personal blog are chock full of dog whistles and Harambe references which I can’t ignore anymore.
Re. antique plates, in Florida 30 years is the dividing line. Our ’90 Corvette just hit the sweet spot for the light blue plates and classic Hagerty Insurance. For the rest of America it’s mind boggling to think that someone is putting antique plates on a ’95 Sunfire. I can’t adequately explain why these cars disgust me so much, it’s perplexing.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/5f/95-99_Pontiac_Sunfire_coupe.jpg/640px-95-99_Pontiac_Sunfire_coupe.jpg
If that car was a person, it’s eyes would just far apart enough to mess with your brain.
Oh, the misery of the GM compact car. I don’t see many running, driving cars for sale under $1,000, but when I do, it’s almost always a J-body.
I still see them limping around town, rusty and running on three cylinders. Someone once said that Cavaliers run badly for longer than most cars run, and what is a Sunfire other than an even uglier Cavalier?
I’ve heard that about Chevys in general re: running poorly for longer than most cars run at all. But yeah. Blugh.
Nadirs would include the Mitsubishi Mirage, miscellaneous pre Hyundai Kias. Better than you would think would be a low mileage rust free Neon with a manual and a Ford Contour.
I’ll also add this https://www.curbsideclassic.com/curbside-classics-american/curbside-classic-1995-cadillac-eldorado-touring-coupe-gms-deadly-sin-31-touring-towards-oblivion/#more-344908
The second gen Chevy Lumina (not that the first gen was all that great, but it at least was available with a factory hot rod variant).
I will pedantically point out that the second gen was available with the same DOHC 3400 as the first, although no 5-speed (which was probably a coupe-only option at that point).
Not that you’re wrong, despite the swoopier lines, the loss of the Euro (as a common option) lamed up the lineup.
1995 saw the birth of this pretty gem:
https://i2.wp.com/carsalesbase.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Lada-110-auto-sales-statistics-Europe.png?fit=500%2C262
During Soviet times, it was accepted as a fact that a new Lada had on average 90 issues coming from the factory. That could be screws in need of tightening, lacking weatherstriping etc.
So, naturally, they named their first post-communist car…110.
I never would have imagined I’d be able to use this to describe a faults-per-100-vehicles rate. https://media2.giphy.com/media/iQONiy4syq9RS/giphy.gif
Only because I saw one today moving under its own power. The particular example I saw appeared to have more duct tape than other material on top, and looked to be missing interior niceties like door panels. Having “classic” plates on such a consummate shitbox would be beautiful. Now, a plain coupe may be seen as more lame, but the pretension of “fun” or whatever a convertible is supposed to give makes this body style seem worse.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fbae207da2a6e253bde7b18636f95e128057385dec68e0629448e05d756f7d40.jpg
So a bunch of these ended up getting used up when fuel prices went up some years ago. Sill I think the convertibles may become collectible because of the shear weirdness of them.
Weirder than the (older) pickup version? You can move house one box at a time! https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/28/1985-1988_Suzuki_Mighty_Boy_utility_01.jpg By OSX – Own work, Public Domain, Link
That’s new to me. Is the cargo capacity measured in six packs?
Hard to find one of the very few 1995 models, but Suzuki X90. This one is in front of the SF MOMA.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/806e6292e786eb187acd2e318bbd6977eaddcf7136c2b5ad8447c218b007491a.jpg
Wait, this is “awesome classics”?
Completely agree. This is a future classic.
Really needs the Red Bull can for extra luggage space though. And matching awesome paint job.
I remember my first encounter with an X90, in probably 1997. My buddy and I stopped to ask the owner what all that was ‘n’ stuff. It seemed fun until he told us what he paid for it, which was in the neighborhood of a mid-range German sports sedan. Cute car to own for a summer holiday, but expensive, and nothing you’d want to find still in your garage 25 years later. Became the advertising vehicle of choice for Red Bull in the 2000s. So what?
Autocar magazine summed up the X 90 in their end of year summation ten best lists by putting it in a class of it’s own
like this
Suzuki X 90 class.
1st……………………………….
2nd……………………………..
3rd………………………………
4th………………………………
5th………………………………
6th………………………………
7th………………………………
8th………………………………
9th………………………………
10th…………………………….
11th Suzuki X 90
In 1995, the debuted-in-1982 GM front-wheel-drive A-platform was still in production as Buick Century and Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera sedans and wagons, with another year yet to go (though the Oldsmobile would drop “Cutlass” from its name for that last year.)
I think of this because 1995 was the year my parents parked their 1983 Buick Century T-Type; the engine was worn out and the car was worth less than the cost to fix it, despite that new cars that were fundamentally the same basic car were still being built. In our Buick’s last year on the road, I had many of my first on-road miles behind the wheel w/ my dad riding shotgun as instructor, and I drove it for at least one of my attempts at the driving test to move up from a learner’s permit.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0fc1304da1721e460675178e9b7945bf4e29b454817a383913d3184657432366.jpg
Drove one for a while. I liked it, in a grandma’s living room on wheels sort of way.
The ironically named Nedcar built Mitsubishi Carisma. It’s not even a bad car as such, it’s a reasonably competent 4 door saloon, it’s just utterly bland. If it wasn’t for the daft name, I’d have never even remembered it existed.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3f/Mitsubishi_Carisma_front_20071205.jpg
In Ireland, the classic threshold is 30 rather than 25 years, and that was bit of a vintage year for discerning crapistas.
You could have had the Dacia 1325
https://auto-database.com/image/dacia-1325-seriess-20198.jpg
The Asia Rocsta, a Korean discount store Jeep
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f4/Kia_%28Asia%29_Rocsta.jpg
The Trabant 1.1 – the final variant of the Trabant with a VW Polo engine.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/b/b1/Trabant_1.1_30.06.19_JM_1.jpg/2880px-Trabant_1.1_30.06.19_JM_1.jpg
..or a Daewoo Espera, which was kind of an 80s Opel Ascona dressed up as Citroen XM on meth
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/0f/Daewoo_Espero_front_20071227.jpg
is the Dacia based on the Renault 12? that car did have many lives
is the Dacia based on the Renault 12? that car did have many lives
Yes, with a hatchback body.
I really liked the looks of the Espera when it first arrived…then I sat in one. Ouch. My family actually bought a Matiz not much longer. I come from a long line of cheap masochists.
Ah the Matiz, the car that I believe had the dubious honor of having by far the longest braking distance of any vehicle tested by Autocar that year.
Ah yes, the old Daewoo gets on ma tits. Last time I drove one I’d taken some LSD, which made the experience only slightly more interesting
I had the opportunity to borrow it for two weeks when my parents went on vacation, as an 18 year old. Considering how strict my upbringing was, this was a strange move.
The Matiz was very easy to get on three wheels, used almost no gas, and would do a maximum of 140 kph or 120 kph on the same stretch of Autobahn depending on the wind direction. The doors were so thin, it felt like closing the door on a 1:18 model.
This was my first taste of “slow car fast” and I am eternally grateful for having survived it at a colossally stupid age.
“The Trabant 1.1 – the final variant of the Trabant with a VW Polo engine.”
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d0334d4d72249f1ca8598b1ee1c5e0517fc87964a0d30e53ed8d16aba1ebc8ed.gif
Emissions laws in West Germany, but yeah, it was a last gasp attempt and now the company (Saschenring AG) is a parts supplier to VW.
At that time, the expectation was not yet reunification. This seemed like the best possible outcome, way off…and then it just happened.
But wasn’t Carisma at least the first car to have a direct injected engine? GDI whatever they called it back then?
No, apparently it appeared in the Galant first and didn’t appear in the Carisma til 1997, still, didn’t make the car much less dull and of course, there’s also the question of whether the trend of direct injection was a good thing.
I think the problem is in calling them “classic” plates. The terms “classic” (25 years) and “antique” (50 years) suggest value or significance, and obviously many 25-year old cars have neither of these traits.
Yeah, but the importance of these kinds of plates in other countries is pretty significant to allow owning them without paying significant road taxes or being allowed to drive into ULEZ zones as “historic vehicles”.
Ireland doesn’t have ULEZ/Congestion Charge zones like Germany, France or the UK, but “motor tax” is pretty high. A car over 3 litres turning 30 this year would go from being €1800 a year to €56 as a “classic”.
So whether the car is subjectively a classic or not, I’m pretty glad of these.
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/333b2b4340a3e0ef5b8f64dd03808350d41fc925081acf0622a91e066aa78c19.jpg
I know it’s malaise period but, nothing exceeds the non-classic criteria of domestic American brand lame classics better than the Lincoln Versailles. I don’t think I’ll live long enough to see anything reach the nadir of a potential luxury car going quite so badly. In spite of all things, most manufacturers will never have used so many resources so cynically or quite so poorly.
@sjalabais@Sjalabais:disqus https://www.donedeal.ie/vintagecars-for-sale/uaz-452-vintage-camper/23926868
Very stiff price, but pretty nonetheless.